Coup d’crud | HumorOutcasts

Coup d’crud

March 1, 2017

Just about every week I report one of these little plastic tabs as missing. I open a loaf of bread and poof! Gone almost as fast as my PB&J sandwich.

Yesterday I hunted them down. They were ganging with my missing socks, underwear, paper clips, spare change, various screws, dry cleaning tags, Victoria’s Secret receipts, dog hair, stale Cheerios, staples, boogers, Hershey’s Kiss foil wrappers, beer bottle caps, floss and much more.

They were conspiring with the X-acto knife blades to stage a coup and take over the house. One of my chef’s knives was there too. Apparently a small corner in the basement wasn’t enough for them.

They are being held prisoner in a vacuum bag. Except for the chef’s knife. I dulled his edge and hung him on the kitchen wall as an example to the other knives.

But still, some of those tabs are missing…


I am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that’s only during the day. At night I fight crime and hang out with my wonderful family.

More Posts - Website - LinkedIn

Share this Post:

One Response to Coup d’crud

  1. March 1, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    I did not realize they had this violent streak for an uprising. I thought they were happy keeping bread safe. You just never know how one gets radicalized. 🙂

User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Boomer on the Ledge
By Molly Stevens and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Heartly God?
By Wil 3. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle