Dear fellow HumorOutcasts writers : This apology is for you. | HumorOutcasts

Dear fellow HumorOutcasts writers : This apology is for you.

October 11, 2017
By

With all due respects to other blondes who may not be as “blonde” as me, sometimes it’s hard to be a blonde.

Actually, I’m not even really a blonde anymore. For many years, I was naturally golden blonde; I think it was from ages two to six.

Then for a couple of years, like from age seven to 40 or so, I was kind of a mousy-dishwater-blonde (who the hell comes up with these descriptions anyway?) and that brings me up to last year (or was it last decade?)

At that point, I decided to color, er, dye, uh, prolong my natural childhood color, which I did for another several years, until I hit 41 51 never mind last season, give or take a season or two. Who’s counting?

But now my natural color is 50 shades of grey, 49 of which are ghost white. It comes in handy at Halloween.

But I digress. Getting back to the apology:

I don’t keep up with everyone’s posts on this hilarious site as much as I’d like. But I do binge-read from time to time, and I try to make a comment when I can think of something clever to say, which isn’t often. Anyway, all the good comments are usually already taken, in which case I may write “That’s a riot!” which is sincere if not clever. (Because … blonde.)

If I’m really comment-challenged, I’ll click “like” so you know I appreciate your talent, of which I am usually envious.

You know that little box that you can check when you’ve posted a reply that says: “Notify me of follow-up comments by email?”  Well, I almost always remember to click that, which is nice because then I read the funny replies from you talented writers in hopes that I will be thusly inspired the next time, for which I have added thirteen shades of grey waiting for.

But, the apology:

Even less frequently than keeping up with your posts and commenting on them, I post my own work.  As soon as I hit “publish,” I quickly move on to other important tasks like flushing a stink bug down the toilet before it realizes it’s caught and puts up a stink.  Or napping.

Usually a week or two after I post, I wonder, “Hmm. Did anyone read or like my article?”

Then I get busy with my to-do list which includes moving piles of junk from one side of my writing table to the other. Phew! What a relief when that’s done!

Today, inspiration hit. Or maybe it was the new purple shampoo I used? Regardless, I decided to click on one of my Humor Outcasts articles.

And what did I see?

Some comments!

And what did I NOT see?

 

Wait for it…

 

 

The little “Notify me of follow-up comments by email” box.

“Huh,” I thought for a moment, my 50 shades of grey curling in their effort to figure it out.

Then, an “ah-ha” moment: “Well, duh,” I mumbled.

The box is not there, fellow blondes, because the author usually doesn’t comment on their own article, so they don’t get a box to check, meaning that they have to take a look from time to time,  letting the stink bugs rot in hell and the piles pile-up. (By the way, if I’m totally wrong here, I’ll slink away and stick to poetry. Which I don’t write, but I’ll learn.)

OK, so you’re wondering about that apology, right?

Well, you witty writers have left some pretty witty comments, and you never heard a peep from me in reply. How rude of me.

Except now you know that I’m not rude at all, just blond, whether it’s original, prolonged or a figment of my imagination.

So, I’m giving you all a collective, “I’m sorry.” And I promise to check for comments regularly from now on.

As soon as I flush that stink bug that just landed on my laptop.

Karen DeBonis

Karen blogs about her wild adventures as a homebody, including writing (aka avoiding housework), meditating (aka napping), and serving a nightly smorgasbord to deer and other critters in her yard (aka gardening).  She lives in a wonderfully emptied nest in upstate New York with her husband of 34 years.

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11 Responses to Dear fellow HumorOutcasts writers : This apology is for you.

  1. October 16, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    No apology needed here. Sometimes we spend so much time checking everything out that it interferes with our own work. It’s hard to keep up with everything.

    And oh … I have now given up on trying to make my hair take on another color. My hair is now gloriously salt and pepper, and the salt has become more and more prominent. Fortunately for me, it’s a nice shade of gray. A hairdresser once told me that if I ever colored my hair and he saw me on the street he was going to grab me and cry, and everyone around us would wonder why a grown man was crying!

  2. October 14, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    I still don’t know how to get my picture up there. I have something from Space Invaders instead.

    • October 16, 2017 at 5:56 am

      I think you’re just hiding the fact that you’re blonde, Paul. Your Space Invaders avatar is actually two very nice shades of blue.

  3. October 12, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    No need to apologize. I took a, um, six-YEAR break from HumorOutcasts, so I think you’re doing just fine. Signed, A Fellow Blonde

    • October 16, 2017 at 5:54 am

      Oh good to know, Maria! Thanks and welcome back.

  4. Bill Spencer
    October 12, 2017 at 7:20 am

    This is a riot!

    • October 12, 2017 at 11:40 am

      And so are you, Bill! But c’mon – you’re one of the clever ones – give me some inspiration!

  5. October 12, 2017 at 12:00 am

    Not a problem for me … as I went through the exact same thing.

    Meanwhile, it took me a long time to realize that if I didn’t have anything great to say, it was perfectly okay to just click “like”. It took me no time at all to figure out stink bugs were bad.

    • October 12, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Wait, Mark – you don’t appear to be blonde. ?? Seriously, I’m glad I’m not alone. And yes, I’m going to have to give myself permission to click “like” if I’m uninspired.

      As for stink bugs, I hope I never know how bad they are. I must have the technique down pat, cuz I haven’t gotten “stunked” yet.

  6. October 11, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    No apologies needed! It’s hard to keep up with all of the online responsibilities we all have anymore. I have two crazy cats I need to take care of too!

    • October 12, 2017 at 11:45 am

      Thanks Billy. Yes, I’m in a constant state of overwhelm, and I don’t even own a pet!



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