Do you suffer from “morning peevishness?” | HumorOutcasts

Do you suffer from “morning peevishness?”

March 29, 2017
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Some people call it getting up on the wrong side of the bed. My grandmother referred to it as feeling ugly (as in waking up in an ugly mood). My go-to word is pissy.

But one of the best descriptors of starting the day cranky and reluctant to emerge from under the covers comes from Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen, who was the first to reach the South Pole in 1911. He called it “morning peevishness.”

Gawd knows he and his expedition team had a lot to feel peevish about. During the winter months before their spring trek, they were holed up in a camp at the edge of the Great Ice Barrier—totally isolated and without creature comforts. Temperatures reached minus-70 degrees. Would you want to crawl out of your toasty-warm reindeer-skin sleeping bag in that? I didn’t think so.

In this bleak setting, Amundsen realized that keeping up his men’s morale was vital. So to motivate them and combat morning peevishness—which Amundsen’s biographer called “a considerable emotional hazard”—the explorer devised a “let’s-guess-the-weather!” competition.

According to a write-up on The Art of Manliness (www.artofmanliness.com), Amundsen told his men they had to step outside first thing in the morning and guess the temperature. He awarded daily prizes to those who came closest to getting it right, promising a telescope to the man who racked up the most correct guesses.

Amundsen said the goal of the exercise was to hone the men’s ability to gauge the temperature in case their thermometers broke. But his real reason for the competition was to get the men to haul their asses out of bed and out the door right after they woke up. And feel good about it.

In his journal, Amundsen explained, “Even if it is but for a minute or two, it is unbelievable how that short time helps to wake a sleepy man and bring feelings into equilibrium before [the day’s first] cup of nice, warm coffee. Even the best-humored person in the world has a touch of morning peevishness and that has to be removed as unnoticeably as possible.”

I have to agree. Granted, I’m not holed up on the frozen tundra in the middle of nowhere with nothing else to do. Well, actually, I live in Maine, which in the midst of a howling February nor’easter can feel like the same thing. Bounding out of bed feeling all perky and energized in the dead of winter is a challenge.

And while I give Amundsen props for keeping his team motivated, I’d have to upgrade the carrots he dangled. Sure, the prospect of a shiny new telescope may have been worth a few frigid early-morning minutes to a bunch of guys in the early 1900s, but I’d be much more inclined to arise and brave the elements for a new iPhone, spa gift certificate or case of chardonnay.

But even then, I’m really not amenable to stepping outside first thing on a winter morning. In fact, rather than dispelling my morning peevishness, mandatory early-morning exposure to the elements would just make me even more peevish. Which underscores why it’s a good thing I work at home and don’t have to commute. And have cats that poop in a box instead of a dog that needs walking.

Plus, while estimating the temperature may have been a good ruse to get Amundsen’s men outside, I’d rather just grab the remote and check my local TV weather, or visit weather.com on my phone or laptop—without even getting out of bed.

That said, however, I suppose it’s worthwhile to feel motivated to not only roll out of bed, but also end up on the right side of it. So here are some 21st-century strategies for combatting morning peevishness in cold climes:

  • Wake up to the sound of a cat vomiting—you’ll spring out of bed in an adrenaline-fueled attempt to ensure the cat barfs on the wood floor, not the rug. And the cleanup can be invigorating as you try to stifle your gag reflex.
  • For bacon lovers, persuade your partner to cook some for breakfast so you wake up to the aroma wafting through the house
  • For coffee lovers, get a coffeemaker with a timer so you can set it to brew a pot that’s ready when you wake up (another enticing wafting aroma)
  • If you must wake up to an alarm, place it across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off. For an extra jolt, set it really loud, or to a station you hate.
  • Convince your partner to get up first and turn up the thermostat so the house is warm when you get out of bed (or get a programmable thermostat)
  • If you feel compelled to peruse social media first thing in the morning, get “Make America Kittens Again,” the Google Chrome extension that replaces any photo of #45 with one of kittens
  • If you work from home, schedule early-morning FaceTime or Skype calls with business associates—it’s sure to get you up and presentable
  • Work out at home or go to the gym first thing. Once you get over your initial reluctance, you’ll feel energized and sanctimonious relieved glad about having done it (and those feel-good endorphins can last for hours)
  • Have morning sex—with a partner or yourself. It may delay the getting out of bed, but generally helps you get up on the right side of it.
  • Make plans for a warm-weather getaway. Or move to a warmer place.

Finally, here’s a strategy that could go either way: Watch the morning news. These days, it’ll either make you want to crawl back under the covers and never come out, or it’ll get you pissed and fired up to fight back against what’s happening in Washington, DC.

Resistance training
used to mean lifting weights; now
it’s watching the news.

What do you think? Got some strategies for combatting morning peevishness? Please share!

Read more of my humor here.

Roxanne Jones

Roxanne Jones blogs at www.boomerhaiku.com, a mostly light-hearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer, 17 syllables at a time. When she’s not tapping out haikus, she’s a freelance medical copywriter, enjoys chardonnay and contemplates plastic surgery to get rid of the wattle on her neck.

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6 Responses to Do you suffer from “morning peevishness?”

  1. March 30, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    Although I am not annoyingly cheerful in the morning, I am not peevish, either. What I am is immobile, especially on a cold morning.

    The best way to combat winter morning immobility is to snuggle up inside a cocoon of warm blankets, making sure you are covered from head to toe, and waiting there until someone brings you a mug of delicious hot coffee. In the absence of a willing hot coffee server, you have the option of staying inside the blankets and dreaming about lying on a sunny beach with the sexy person of your choice.

    • March 31, 2017 at 8:11 am

      I can relate to immobility, Kathy–especially on gloomy, dark winter mornings in Maine. Cocooning inside a pile of blankets is wonderful–until it triggers a hot flash–and then I’m ready to plunge into a snowbank!

      • March 31, 2017 at 12:27 pm

        In that case, lying on top of a cool cotton sheet and dreaming of a tropical beach, with trade winds blowing and a sexy guy wearing a tight bathing suit the size of a washcloth …

        Scratch that. That will bring on a SUPER hot flash!

        • April 1, 2017 at 11:20 am

          LoL! Where’s my fan…

  2. March 30, 2017 at 7:42 am

    Motivation is everything!

  3. March 29, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    If someone promised me a prize if I could guess the muffin or scone, I’d jump out of bed too.



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