WESTLAND, Mass. In this suburb of Boston continuing education courses at the community center are popular, with everyone from retirees to stay-at-home moms signing up for classes ranging from plein air watercolor painting to nature walks. “It’s a way to keep my mind active,” says Elsie Copenhaver, a widow who keeps a trim figure with water aerobics and yoga. “I aim for a little more stimulation than ‘Wheel of Fortune.’”
The center is staffed by volunteers who get credit against their property tax bills for the hours they work, but the advanced age of many part-timers sometimes leads to mix-ups; witness a class offered this fall, Introduction to Misanthropy, taught by Ned Flynn, a retired manufacturers representative.
“I thought it was like anthropology, or maybe philanthropy,” says Myra Florin, the administrator who processed the paperwork for the course. “I had no idea the man was a dyed-in-the-wool crank.”
Flynn is indeed a bit of a curmudgeon, the result he says of being mistreated over the years by the big companies whom he served as an outside sales force without benefits, getting paid only a commission when he closed a sale. “I should be teaching a class on human sexuality,” he says bitterly. “If there’s any way to get screwed that hasn’t happened to me, I don’t know about it.”
The first class draws a motley mixture of the young and the old, some of whom are still “shopping” for a course in the manner of college students comparing professors before making final decisions.
“Anybody got an axe they want to grind for extra credit?”
“Welcome everybody,” Flynn says to bring the class to order, and the casual chit-chat that had filled the room comes to an end. “This is Introduction to Misanthropy, so if you want to make origami cranes you’re in the wrong place.” A few in attendance chuckle quietly and Flynn launches into his survey of the field that has not yet achieved academic respectability, even though it is widely practiced among members of the professoriate.
“What I hope to give to those who decide to enroll in this class and stick with it is a comprehensive world view, not just a limited, one-dimensional approach to interpersonal relations. Has anyone here dabbled in misanthropy before?”
A few stick their hands up, and Flynn calls first on Mike Quals, an older man with a red-and-white “Make American Great Again” cap on. “I know a little bit about it,” he says. “I hate all them lily-livered, panty-waist Hillary Clinton supporters.”
“Anybody else?” Flynn says, before recognizing Veronica Upshaw, a woman wearing a cable-knit sweater and a head-band who is president of the local chapter of the League of Women Voters. “I reserve a special fury for the sexist followers of Donald Trump,” she fairly spits out, giving Quals a laser-like glare of contempt.
“Okay, this is a good place to start,” Flynn says as he moves to the black board and writes “Misanthropy: Hate everybody equally,” underlining the last word for effect. “If all you’re doing is singling out one group, you’re not doing misanthropy right.”
A few in the class begin to take notes, even though the course description has made clear that it is not offered for credit, and that there are no exams. “So–it’s an ecumenical thing?” asks Eric Fleming, a young man with a wispy beard who is a theology student at a nearby seminary.
“I want a 300-word essay on why you can’t stand the person sitting next to you.”
“Precisely,” Flynn replies. “You have to move beyond the particular person or group you dislike to a universal, all-encompassing hatred of humans in general.” He then leads a roundtable discussion designed to help others overcome their parochial antipathies, and broaden the range of their animosity. By the end of the hour, many emerge from the classroom with a newfound respect for the power of negative thinking. What, this reporter asks Quals, did he learn from the first class?
“I think in the past I’ve been too quick to make snap judgments about individuals based on politics,” he says with a tone of rueful self-criticism. “I really should just lump them together with all the other weirdos in the world and leave it at that.”
There are people who have a talent for hating everybody in general, and they don’t need a class to teach them how to do it. LOL!