For Some Workers, “Break-ation” is Best Alternative | HumorOutcasts

For Some Workers, “Break-ation” is Best Alternative

July 7, 2017
By

BURLINGTON, Mass.  Tim Philman is entitled to two weeks’ paid vacation from his job as a software engineer for Infomatrix, and like most private sector employees he can’t carry over days he doesn’t use each year.  “I’ve been burned a couple of times,” he says with a trace of bitterness.  “One year I rented a place on the Cape and it rained all week, and my girlfriend broke up with me.”

Image result for office worker coffee cup
“The candy machine is out of Chuckles.”

 

But he isn’t interested in a “staycation,” an approach used by some employees who don’t want to risk large sums on vacations and instead hang around their homes for a week or two and take day trips.  “I don’t have central air,” Philman says, “and I’m home every other day of the year, so that’s no fun for me.”

Image result for office manager
Elaine Mumford:  “Well, I can’t find any rule against it, so I guess it’s okay.”

 

The other alternative is a “workation,” where someone takes a laptop with them on a trip and stays focused on a steady stream of emails while trying to relax, but that doesn’t appeal to those like Philman who are alienated from, rather than invested in their professional lives.  “I’ll be damned if I’m going to be bugged long-distance by someone I spent thousands of dollars to get away from,” he says.

So Philman, like others who find themselves in a similar predicament, is opting this summer for a “break-ation” and will move next Monday into the break room at his company, where he will enjoy free wi-fi, cool air conditioning needed for his company’s large computer servers, and a rotating array of snack foods and soft drinks in well-stocked vending machines.

“I don’t have a lot of friends outside of work,” Philman says.  “Why go to the beach and listen to a bunch of screaming kids when I can goof off while my co-workers slave away at their mindless, boring jobs?”


“Look at those colors!  I’ve got to get a picture to show my friends back at the office.”

 

The National Association of Human Resource Professionals, the “gatekeepers” for unusual vacation requests, says most companies have no policy prohibiting “break-ations” and so are caught off-guard when an employee requests the accommodation.  “Personally, I don’t see the attraction,” says Elaine Mumford, President-elect of the trade group.  “I don’t like to toss the word ‘loser’ around lightly, but how can anyone stick around here when this country has so many wonderful Six Flags amusement parks to see before you die?”


“Dear Mr. Qwerty:  I enclose herewith your quick brown fox.”

 

In-house and private corporate security firms say that “break-ations” create a risk of property crime, with petty larceny high on the list.   “I urge any company that tolerates this sort of thing to add extra plainclothes agents between now and Labor Day at our very reasonable overtime rates,” says Jim Sturgis, Chief of Police in Muncie, Indiana.  “You let just one of these perps stay overnight and all of a sudden, next day nobody can find any 8 X 14″ legal pads or pink Post-It Notes.”

Con Chapman

I'm a Boston-area writer, author of two novels (most recently "Making Partner"), a baseball book about the Red Sox and the Yankees ("The Year of the Gerbil"), ten published plays and 45 books of humor available in print and Kindle formats on amazon.com. My latest book "Scooter & Skipper Blow Things Up!" was released by HumorOutcasts Press last year. My humor has appeared in The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor, The Boston Globe and Barron's, and I am working on a biography of Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington's long-time alto sax player for Oxford University Press .

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook - Google Plus - YouTube

Share this Post:

One Response to For Some Workers, “Break-ation” is Best Alternative

  1. July 7, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Pens are also hot items in offices, especially if the pens are on a secretary’s desk. I would sometimes put a bunch of cheap pens into a pencil holder on top of my desk, to keep people from stealing the good pens that I liked to use!



User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Heartly God?
By Wil 3. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Farewell Amelia Mary: Long Time Looking
By H.J. Worthington and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle






Archives