John McCain begins hunger strike to demand personal integrity from President Trump. | HumorOutcasts

John McCain begins hunger strike to demand personal integrity from President Trump.

February 3, 2017

PHOENIX, AZ–John McCain, the senator from Arizona who has endured tremendous personal sacrifice in service of his county, has begun a hunger strike to demand that Donald Trump act with the dignity required of a US president.

The hunger strike is the latest of McCain’s sacrifices for country. He had both arms and one leg broken in a plane crash while serving in the Navy during the Vietnam War.

He then endured five and a half years of imprisonment and torture at the hands of the North Vietnamese, refusing early release to show solidarity with fellow American POWs.

In 2008, he lost the presidential election thereby saving the nation from the possibility that running mate Sara Palin–an ill-informed and incompetent politician–might become President in the event of his death.

McCain recently turned 80 and had planed to spend his remaining years hiking and fishing. But he has again been called to sacrifice for country, now that the White House is in fact controlled by an ill-informed and incompetent politician.

If his hunger strike fails to improve President Trump’s behavior, McCain has threatened self immolation–a political maneuver he learned from Vietnamese Buddhist monks–to prod Congress into launching impeachment proceedings.

Jourdan Arenson

I now write humorous essays about science and the environment for my local paper and High Country News. But for most of my writing career, I've written dull unfunny stuff. My first writing gig was drafting grant proposals for development projects in Northeast Thailand. My Thai colleague would say: "Build dam, then rice growing many up." I would type: "Dam construction will increase agricultural output." During the Asian economic boom of the 1990s I did business reporting and public relations writing. After the Asian economic bust, I got a job as a technical writer for an IT department of a large bank in California. At first, I wrote guides that told users how to use computer systems. I then got a promotion and wrote specifications that told programmers how to build computer systems. It was all dull and unfunny stuff but--unlike public relations--at least I got to tell the truth. After twenty years of this, my two kids were grown up and out of the house. So I quit my job and started writing essays for zero pay. I live in Eugene, Oregon with my wife of 26 years, who is from Amagasaki, Japan. We used to keep chickens but they stopped laying and we had to get rid of them, which is harder than you'd think.

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2 Responses to John McCain begins hunger strike to demand personal integrity from President Trump.

  1. Bill Spencer
    February 4, 2017 at 7:04 am

    Stay hungry, John McCain. Stay hungry.

  2. February 3, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    Now I’m worried about Senator McCain, ’cause I think he’s going to be a very hungry guy. Of course, when I’m on a diet, I can be very, very mean and that could be an effective tool.

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