Before my wife and I got married, we dated.
When I felt it was time to see if we had what it took to be a more serious couple, we went to Disneyland. We had a great time and that meant we could tie the knot.
After the ceremony and after becoming parents, we let our son turn 2 years old. Then we went to Disneyland as a family. That’s because Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, and I had to know if we had what it took to be a whole, complete Disneyland family.
It’s true—when I take my wife and son to Disneyland, I make sure we have the happiest time of our lives. I know the park better than our own home. I know how to pick each land to visit, I can program the ride order, and I know the history of the park and the backstory of the characters to fill out the experience. Even the traditions my dad created when I was a kid are alive and well when I’m at the wheel.
So when my younger cousin asked if she could take our son to Disneyland for his 13th birthday, my wife said, “Sure.” I said, “Why not go to Magic Mountain?”
Hey, Disneyland is sacred. I couldn’t let our only child go with someone else. That’s like cheating on your spouse.
“That’s ridiculous,” my wife said. “Nothing says he can’t go to Disneyland with other people.”
“Magic Mountain is just as good,” I told her. “They should just go there instead.”
Of course my wife and kid knew I didn’t feel Magic Mountain was as good as the Magic Kingdom, but I let my cousin take our child away to the happiest place on Earth without his parents anyway. I knew he wouldn’t have a good time.
Fact: My cousin is much younger than my wife and me. She’s also full of energy, a Disney nut and up on the newer Disney fads. I love “Star Wars” as much as the next person, but my cousin is the type of super fan belonging to the species known as “totally and utterly obsessed with the ‘Star Wars’ universe.”
She and her equally young, equally cool and equally obsessed-with-Disney girlfriend (who was joining them at the park) wore “Star Wars” shirts and apparel. They got my son stuff to wear, too, so they’d all fit in. OK, so my wife and I never decked out the family when we went to Disneyland, but that’s because we go for the classic Disneylander look. Getting “Star Wars”ed up isn’t what Disneyland is about.
Or is it? My son loved it!
“Make sure you text us pictures,” my wife said over the phone as they were going through the front gates. “Call us, too, so we know you’re having a fun time.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “How much fun do you think he’s gonna have, if any at all?”
The pictures the kid texted said it all. In one shot, the three of them were in the most enthusiastic Dark Side poses with Kylo Ren. Honestly, I didn’t even know the name of the character. I remember seeing him in the movie that came out last year, but I didn’t recall the name. And here my kid was having a blast because, all of a sudden, he’s a “Star Wars” nut like my cousin and her girlfriend. I wasn’t liking it.
“He’s having a great time,” my wife told me.
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Because he said so. I think it’s the best time he’s ever had there.”
“Best?”
“It’s not a competition.”
She had a point, but it wasn’t a very good point—not one I liked, anyway.
“I’m not gonna sit here,” I said, “and let my cool young cousin and her cool young girlfriend create better, longer-lasting Disneyland memories with our own son. You may be fine with it, but I’m not.”
My wife tried to tell me our kid wasn’t having a better time, just a different time. Different was right. At 13 years old, Disneyland is a different kind of experience than when you’re 4.
“The big roller coasters is what he really wants at his age,” I said. “When he gets back, we’re taking him to Magic Mountain. Then we’ll see how much fun is possible to have in this life we’re living.”
The next weekend, my wife and I took our son to Magic Mountain—the thrill capital of the world—and I made sure we had the most thrilling time of our lives. It was the best!
A month later when the kid’s friends asked if he wanted to go to Magic Mountain without parents, my wife said, “Sure.” I said, “Why not go to Disneyland?” I wasn’t liking it.
I went online immediately and got us tickets to Knott’s Scary Farm. No one’s topping me on that.
This story is set to appear in The Acorn Newspapers of Los Angeles and Ventura counties, CA, in September of 2016. You can find other stories like it from Michael Picarella in his book, “Everything Ever After (Confessions of a Family Man),” and at MichaelPicarellaColumn.com.