Surgery and Naughty Furniture | HumorOutcasts

Surgery and Naughty Furniture

April 20, 2017
By

Surgery has never been as much fun.

I had cataract surgery on my right eye a few days ago. They didn’t put me in a bed to prep for it; they put me in a recliner. On the other side of some curtains there was another woman patient on another recliner. This was a fancy-ass hospital connected to a famous medical school.

I sat on my chair, which made a familiar noise. My friend D. was with me. She and I looked at each other. “That sounds like a whoopee cushion,” I said, and we laughed out loud.

I had to get up and down a few times before I they took me into surgery, and every time I sat down our hilarity increased. Hilarity in a hospital is discouraged. We were living on the edge.

Fast-forward to after the surgery. They brought me back to the same chair in the same room with the same roommate. Again, the chair sang when I sat down. My friend and I shrieked so loudly that a nurse who was helping the other patient came over and asked us what was happening. We explained the whoopee cushion recliner to her. She asked us to keep our own noise down.

The next time we just snickered.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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9 Responses to Surgery and Naughty Furniture

  1. April 26, 2017 at 2:15 am

    Well, *I* think it was funny.

  2. April 25, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    And it was the hospital that supplied the farting chair. So there.

  3. April 25, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    That’s what you get folks for making whoopee.

  4. Bill Y "The Legend" Ledden
    April 22, 2017 at 5:38 am

    Sight and sound in perfect harmony.

    • April 22, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      And laughter. Don’t forget laughter! 😀

  5. Bill Spencer
    April 21, 2017 at 6:47 am

    We now see clearly what kind of person you are.

    • Bill Spencer
      April 21, 2017 at 6:50 am

      Btw, my cabin is floored with naughty pine.

      • April 21, 2017 at 1:42 pm

        You must be floored every time you hear the sound! Hehehehe!

        Please forgive me. I only know how to make bad puns.

    • April 21, 2017 at 1:44 pm

      I can see clearly again, too, for which I am thankful to God, to my wonderful surgeon and to the medical team at the Harkness Eye Institute, Columbia University Medical Center.



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