Yesterday, I realized that in response to the recent election cycle, I’ve become a new person.
I now feel intense pessimism and an inevitable sense of doom because of who was elected president.
I think a lot about FOX News.
I feel an urgent need to buy guns before the president-elect actually takes office.
I’m convinced the president-elect is intent on taking away Constitutional rights guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
I’ve become an avid denier of reality: “He can’t have won. That’s impossible. Nobody would have voted for him, much less enough people for him to win. The Electoral College will show courage and save us. The Electoral College can’t have elected him. He’s not going to be my president.”
I now subscribe to several wild-sounding conspiracy theories (involving the FBI, an insane ex-New York mayor, Vladimir Putin, Mitch McConnell, various Donald Trump cabinet nominees and children, and the president-elect himself as a Russian asset.)
I question the legitimacy of the election.
I’m committed to obstructing, disrespecting, and ridiculing the incoming president in every way I can think of for his entire term of office.
I have not for one second considered “giving him a chance.”
In other words, I realized—with horror—that I’ve become . . . (Dare I say it?) . . . a Republican.