I was watching Donald Trump’s impromptu press conference last week, and I heard a young Orthodox reporter ask the President a question about anti-Semitism.
“Number one,” replied Mr. Trump,” I am the least anti-Semitic person you’ve ever seen in your entire life.”
How about that? Mr. Trump is the least anti-Semitic person I’ve ever seen in my entire life! I never knew that.
But wait a minute. That must mean everybody else I‘ve ever seen in my entire life is anti-Semitic! At least somewhat.
I came downstairs to the kitchen and my son Brandon was sitting at the table.
“Just what anti-Semitic schemes are you busily hatching, kid?” I snarled.
“What are you talking about, Dad?”
“I never realized you disliked Jews, Brandon. What have the Chosen People ever done to you?”
“What are you saying? I’m Jewish just like you.”
“Well, you may be Jewish, but you’re not as not anti-Semitic as President Trump. President Trump is the least anti-Semitic person I’ve ever seen in my entire life!”
“Dad, you’re crazy.”
“No wonder you always get three out of the Four Questions wrong every Passover,” I snapped, and stormed out of the house.
But as soon as I got outside I noticed something I never realized before.
Everywhere I looked there were people who were not less anti-Semitic than Donald Trump! My neighbor Mr. Lieberman, the lady down the street Mrs. Hershman, young Danny Feldman on his way to school, the Reisman’s dog Hymie —- virulent Jew haters all!
Now I was truly terrified. I drove directly to the synagogue, I desperately needed to see Rabbi Debbie King.
“Rabbi King! Rabbi King!” I shouted running into the Temple Building.
She heard me and came out of her office.
“Yes, is that you, Perry Block?”
“Yes, it is, Rabbi.”
“How can I help you, Perry?”
“Rabbi, everywhere I look I see ….”
“Everywhere I look I see ….”
“Why, Rabbi King, you anti-Semitic bastard you!”
The world is and has always been a perilous place for us Jews. Thank goodness for Donald Trump, the least anti-Semitic person I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
Serious Note: I realize that today Trump has put out a statement condemning anti-Semitism. Not only too little too late, but fully indicative of Trump’s silly idea of thinking he condemns anti-Semitism by mouthing pseudo-support for Israel which demonstrates his total lack of knowledge regarding the region.