While electro-shock aversion therapy is no longer used in “gay conversion” attempts, the American Psychiatric Association does currently approve its use on supporters of Donald Trump.
The APA’s official position is that “people are not born slavishly supporting Trump. It’s a choice.”
According to exhaustive research, Trump supporters have been constitutionally unable to react appropriately to any of the thousands of shocking things Trump has said or done. The therapy restores their natural capacity for outrage, astonishment, and disgust.
Patients are shown 27 hours of clips of Trump’s most offensive words, actions, gestures, lies, and tweets—and with each new image or sound byte, the patient’s brain and genitals are zapped with a stinging 450 volts. In response to charges that this type of electroconvulsive therapy is cruel, the APA has defended it, saying, “Even at 450 volts, these Trump supporters are receiving much less of a shock than everybody else has experienced.”
Results so far have been mixed. APA spokesman Dr. Sang Freud reports that “only about 3% of those treated have actually become decent, caring human beings.” Despite the low rate of success, polls show that among Democrats and Independents, the approval rate for continuing aggressive electro-shock therapy on Trump supporters is 100%.