I recently decided that I was due for an eyebrow plucking. I haven’t quite decided why this is important for women to do and not for men. Was it vanity lurking or simply good hygiene?
Whatever the case, I decided that I was overdue. In my youth, I would grab a tweezer, lean over the bathroom sink, peer into the mirror, and pluck out a few stray hairs. Mission accomplished.
When I turned forty, I discovered that I needed glasses to see in order to get the job done. So I plunked down the cash for a new pair and was then able to set forth on my monthly mission to rid myself of the offending hairs.
Last month, even with my glasses, I just couldn’t see to accomplish the task at hand, so I grabbed the car keys and headed for the nearest salon to pay for both the plucking and the tip (don’t forget the cost of gas to get there).
This month, I tried to be frugal. I went out and bought a hand mirror that has a ten-time magnification. I was so proud of myself as I plucked away to rid myself of those pesky strays. But then I noticed two things I hadn’t noticed before:
1) I was plucking lots of gray hairs. They were in the right places, but they were gray, so of course, they had to be plucked.
2) I had lots of crepey, droopy, wrinkly, skin that encircled my eyes.
After several minutes of serious plucking, I found that I’d plucked so many grays that I now had to go out and buy an eyebrow pencil to draw back in the now missing hairs: more gas, more beauty supplies.
But that’s not all. Now I also need an eye lift to get rid of the crepey, droopy, wrinkles I hadn’t known were there before. My wallet is empty. Ladies, heed my advice. If you ever want to have enough money to retire on, for heaven’s sake, don’t pluck your eyebrows!