Winter Storms | HumorOutcasts

Winter Storms

March 13, 2017
By

bird house in tree w snow

Today I am grateful for winter storms.  And I can’t wait until it gets here.  I feel cheated out of winter this year because we pretty much haven’t had one.  Unpopular as that sounds, I don’t care.  I want Winter when it’s Winter; Spring when it’s Spring; Summer when it’s Summer; and Fall when it’s Fall!  Every year!  Thank you very much.

 

I think the seasons became way more important to me after living in on the equator for three years in Jakarta, Indonesia.  Sun up. . . and down at the same time every day.  Temperature and humidity unbearable day and night.  Locals said, “Rainy season is cooler”  Yeah right.  By two degrees maybe, but if you’re a menopausal woman coming down to 88 degrees from 90 doesn’t feel like 70.  Even if you’re drenched by monsoons, mixed with personal power surges and flop sweats.

 

I’m already prepping for the BIG STORM!  We just got back from the store and must be the only people in the region who didn’t buy milk.  We had milk.  I did buy eggs and bread, though.  And bacon.  Because nothing says “storm” like the smell of bacon cooking in the morning.  I’ll chop veggies for soup and get that simmering first thing, but I was going to make that anyway.  I’m also thawing some steaks for our supper tomorrow, because after all, it’s a snow day for Himself, the die-hard carnivore, too.

 

I’ve hauled out a few books I’ve wanted to read; dragged out my “coloring book” bag; lined up some crossword puzzles; started some crochet projects; blew the fuzz off of the Scrabble game; recorded a bunch of stuff; and found some DVD movies to watch if the power holds.  I have flashlights and candles in case it doesn’t.  I might even have batteries.  Not sure about that one.  Himself is in charge of that.

 

I considered cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, and straightening out closets, but I got over that real fast.  Snowstorms are fun days, not work days.  Always.

 

I’m charging my computer and phones tonight.  We have a full bottle of Kahlua so we can make Good Shit for lunch!  (Kahlua, coffee, whipped cream.)  There is still lime and cake flavored vodka in the fridge and our wine cellar is full.  I might even make a snow angel if I have more than one drink and can find someone to help me up.  Otherwise I’ll just do it in my mind.  That’s almost as good and I won’t get snow down my drawers.

 

I figure for me to do, watch, play with and enjoy this Armageddon-sized storm I need it to last at least FOUR full days!!  If for some horrible-global-warming-nightmare-twist it passes us by I don’t know what I’ll do.  I haven’t planned for that at all! But the sun is brightly shining so who knows?  Okay!  Snow!  I’m ready.  Go!

Mary Mooney

From cranking hair in my Midwestern town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to eastern Pennsylvania, to three years writing for large hotels in Jakarta, Indonesia, humor has been my constant.

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2 Responses to Winter Storms

  1. March 15, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    I like your approach to storm prep!

  2. March 14, 2017 at 8:05 am

    So glad you admit your love of snow. I do like it because then I appreciate the other seasons. It is a beautiful sight sometimes as long as everyone is home and safe!



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