Know My Limits | HumorOutcasts

Know My Limits

January 2, 2018
By

Today I am grateful to know my limits.  Which are numerous.  Especially when it comes to anything at all to do with math.  My dad was a whiz at math.  I didn’t get the gene.

 

But I was pretty excited to get the Spirograph from Himself for Christmas.  It was not something I ever thought I wanted, but the idea of cool designs that I might color later intrigued me.  Give me anything to “waste” time and I’m there.

 

I waited to take it out of the box because I was thinking about how cool it was going to be when I did.  I would make the designs on the cover and then create my own which would be much cooler than their silly, basic ones.

 

I read the directions.  Points for me!  I put the goo on the big wheel, pressed it to the paper, turned it like they said to so it stuck tight and then I stopped reading the directions.  I got this, I thought.  So I started messing with the wheels.  And got confused.  Fast.

 

I think I was pressing too hard.  And forcing the wheel to do things it didn’t want to do, kinda like driving on the expressway.  I didn’t want to stop, but I didn’t exactly want to continue either, but I didn’t throw it at the wall like I do with Monopoly.  Close.

 

“I really suck at this,” I said to Himself, who was anxiously waiting for my first masterpiece.  I held it up for him to see.

 

“That’s it?” he asked.  Not quite the glowing exclamation I was hoping for.  And he was right.  “What are you doing wrong?”

 

“I don’t know!  I hate this thing.  It won’t let me do things my way,” I said.

 

“That first one looks like you did it your way, alright.”  I didn’t throw it at him.  Don’t I exhibit remarkable restraint sometimes?  Especially when he’s right and we both know it?

 

“There is math involved, I think.”  I was leafing through the directions again, but not really reading much.  “It talks about angles and stuff.  I don’t do math.  I don’t want math part of my creativity.  I hate math.”  He just looked at me, I’m sure remembering the last time a math question appeared on Jeopardy and I answered “Chocolate Cake”!

 

“Do you want me to figure it out and then let you know the easiest way to do it?”  Yes, I do.  And then I want you to do up a bunch of them so I can color them.  That is something I understand!  I know my limits!

(To read more of my gratitude missives go to http://heartprintsdotcom.wordpress.com)

 

Mary Mooney

From cranking hair in my Midwestern town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to eastern Pennsylvania, to three years writing for large hotels in Jakarta, Indonesia, humor has been my constant.

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One Response to Know My Limits

  1. January 2, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    I share your limitations Mary! Thank goodness I am married to an engineer. makes my life easier!



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