Blog Archives

Happy Belated Hairball Awareness Day

April 29, 2017
By

A chilly, sunny April Saturday. There’s just me and two cats, Rocco and Okie, three sullen males grunting their way through the day–as usual–while the wife’s running errands. Rocco: “You insensitive clod!”   And yet something’s–not quite right.…

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A Day in the Life of a Texas High School Prom Dress Coach

April 28, 2017
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A high school in Texas requires female students to have prom dresses pre-approved by a school coach. The Wall Street Journal As I looked out the window of my tiny, bare-bones office onto the mesquite-speckled…

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Everything You Know About Belly-Button Lint is Wrong

April 27, 2017
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I’ve noticed a trend recently.  The East Coast newspapers I read, such as The New York Times and The Boston Globe, have taken to lecturing ordinary schmoes like me on a regular basis that things we believe…

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Winning Philosophy Essay Says Unexamined Life Totally Worth Living

April 26, 2017
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Winning Philosophy Essay Says Unexamined Life Totally Worth Living

NEWARK, Delaware. When Mahlon Grenier got the call telling him he was the winner of the American Philosophical Society’s undergraduate essay prize, he says he was as surprised as the next fellow. “In my apartment…

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My Lonely Struggle With Preauricular Sinus

April 25, 2017
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My Lonely Struggle With Preauricular Sinus

For me, the weekends are the hardest.  Not because I’m lonely, like Charlie Rich, who sang that he made it all right from Monday morning to Friday night, but oh–those lonely weekends. Charlie Rich on…

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As Whole Language Yuppies Move in, Phonics “Junkies” are Forced Out

April 24, 2017
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BOSTON.  The neighborhood here known as the South End has historically been a transitional stop on the way up–or down–the social ladder.  “We got the winos and junkies who lost their last best hope of…

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Ode to a Bespectacled Optometrist Maiden

April 22, 2017
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Dorothy Parker, just for a lark, wrote a poem we remember for what’s now called “snark”: “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses,” rings down through the years and one guesses its laughter…

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My Chequered Career With Older Women

April 21, 2017
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In retrospect, I wasn’t ready to leave home yet. I was full of myself and thought I could handle the wider world that my older siblings had set out to see before me. But I…

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Fed Chair: Sports Tchotchkes Next Bubble to Burst

April 20, 2017
By
yellen

WASHINGTON, D.C.  Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen warned Congress yesterday that a speculative bubble in over-priced sports “tchotchkes” threatens the nation’s fragile recovery, and could hamper more tasteful decorating schemes of female consumers. “It was…

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Pain of Divorce Leads One Golfer to Repay His Debt in Kind

April 19, 2017
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HYANNIS, Mass.  The self-absorption of many amateur golfers is a phenomenon too widely-known to require comment, but Dan Norkrantz, a “serial entrepreneur” who has built and sold many businesses at a handsome profit, was unaware…

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