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Are You My People?

June 3, 2015
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There is nothing better in life than finding your people. Someone who gets your jokes, likes your cooking, thinks you dress cool, and doesn’t judge you when you eat a sleeve or two of girl…

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THE REAL HALLOWEENIE

November 7, 2014
By

I thought I was cool. I really did. I believed the hype I’d been hearing about myself – that I am a fairly happening person – and that I can hang with the kids and…

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Commando In Chief

August 1, 2014
By

I want everyone reading this to sit down immediately. It’s important because what I’m about to say will not only be life changing – it may in fact be the single greatest discovery one woman…

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CALL ME TINDER-ELLA

July 23, 2014
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CALL ME TINDER-ELLA

“Everyone’s on it. It’s no biggie.” So said my friend Joshua at work the other day regarding the on line dating craze that’s sweeping the nation – Tinder. “You just put your picture in. Say…

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Small Plates, Big Problems

July 11, 2014
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Small Plates, Big Problems

I don’t know how it is where you people live, but lately dining out in Los Angeles has made me think that all the restaurants have banded together and decided I’m too fat and are…

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MY INDEPENDENCE – CAMP INDIAN HEAD

July 7, 2014
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I was ten years old the first time I learned what it meant to be on the outside, to not be one of the cool kids having all the fun, to be the little girl…

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Stop Smelling The Sunshine and Watch TV

June 23, 2014
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There’s a new phrase I’m hearing a lot lately, bandied about in conversations between seemingly normal people who couldn’t possibly be normal after uttering such a hideous, awful, pompous, annoying bullshit thing you can say…

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Don’t Blame The Cake

June 13, 2014
By

I’m starting to lose my faith in God. I’m starting to believe that there may not be a big smart someone up there guiding me and protecting me because if there were he would have made Chinese food – dietetic. Read more »

Heidi Clements

supermodel, scientist, philosopher. i invented the donut hole. I write a blog and a tv show. Both are amazing. As am I. Ish.

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Excerpt from “Welcome To Heidi” – I’M STARVING

June 3, 2014
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Excerpt from “Welcome To Heidi” –  I’M STARVING

Two weeks ago, Welcome to Heidi burst onto the scene and proceeded to shake things up in Hollywood and beyond.  While the press attention has been unbelievable, the reason so many people “took” to this…

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The Old Woman & The Shoe Phone

February 22, 2014
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The Old Woman & The Shoe Phone

I said it. Out loud. Without even thinking. And then once I said it, I couldn’t take it back. And instantly… I was old. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE DIDN’T HAVE… Boom. There it…

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