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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; Kathy Minicozzi</title>
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	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>Ask Kathy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy-2/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 19:18:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Words to Think Upon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absurd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apartments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask kathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HumorOutcasts.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[questions and answers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roommates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33198</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Q. Why do you look so murderous in that picture on the left? &#8230; Your fellow HumorOutcasts writers A. I always look like that. No wonder I usually get a seat on the bus. Q. I have been squatting &#8230; er, crashing in my friend’s apartment for two years now. He originally invited me to stay for two weeks while another friend got his apartment ready for me, but I liked this place better and decided not to move out. I pay no rent, throw noisy parties, eat most of my roommate’s food and never wash dishes, do laundry or clean up. In other words, this is a really good deal. My roommate has, on separate occasions, changed the locks, had all my stuff moved out to the lobby and set fire to my bed. Do you think he’s trying to tell me something? &#8230; Anxious Roomie A. If you were in the bed when he set fire to it, he isn’t trying to tell you anything. He’s trying to kill you. In that case, you might consider contacting your other friend (if you still have one) to ask if you can follow the original plan. If you were not [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kathy&#8217;s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-11/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-11/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 21:12:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absurd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coffee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HumorOutcasts.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[old ladies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[points to remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Starbucks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tourists]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33158</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Don’t put your cat in charge of your inkjet toners. Cats are relatively color-blind and they can’t read numbers. If you ask her for a black toner, she’ll probably toss you a tri-color one. When you tell her it’s the wrong one, she’ll just hiss, “What’s the difference?” and go back to sleep. 2. If you are in New York City and you end up behind a slow-moving older woman who is pushing a cart, pulling a suitcase and/or otherwise burdened down, do not complain. Above all, never curse at her. She may not hesitate to show you why New York’s old ladies should not be trifled with. She can also out-curse you, because she’s old enough to know more words than you do, in more different languages. 3. You have only yourself to blame if that kumquat salad you bought at the greengrocer’s six months ago, then forgot about, knocks you out cold with the smell when you finally get around to cleaning out your fridge. 4. If you want to get some good practice with almost any foreign language, take a ride on a New York City subway, or walk around Times Square and eavesdrop on the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-11/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Everybody Blames the Baby Boomers</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/everybody-blames-the-baby-boomers/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/everybody-blames-the-baby-boomers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 22:10:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[campus protests]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Civil Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hippies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HumorOutcasts.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[organic food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual freedom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32857</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m a Baby Boomer. My father came back from World War II and I was born very shortly after that. If you believe the statistics, many, many others followed us early postwar arrivals into the world. Our parents were “The Greatest Generation.” They lived through The Great Depression only to be hit with World War II. The ones who survived that went on to produce us. Our parents were a hard act to follow, and they knew it. To them, we had it easy, and they never hesitated to let us know it whenever we complained about anything, which was all the time. DAD: You think you got it bad? I worked after school and turned my pay over to my mother. If I wanted to go to the movies, I had to ask her for the money. And that was without popcorn. We got candy once a year if we were lucky, and it had to be penny candy. No Hershey bars or Baby Ruths for us! All six of us lived in a tiny house the size of your bedroom. Did we complain? No! We took what we got and liked it because we didn’t know any better! [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/everybody-blames-the-baby-boomers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A Cat Speaks Up</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-cat-speaks-up/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-cat-speaks-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 May 2013 04:39:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32626</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Cats rule and dogs drool.* Sassy I’m a cat. That’s my picture you see over there. I’m the good-looking, smart one. My name is Harmony and I have a few things to say to all of you. Don’t try to ignore me. I have ways to make you pay attention. Just ask my human, if you don’t believe me. She is acting as my secretary right now, taking down everything I say. N-i-c-e human! If you’re a good girl, I’ll rub myself against your leg, give you a nose bump and let you have a cookie. Let’s get to the point. Far too much attention has been paid to certain dogs lately. I won’t name any names; you know who you are. I’ll admit that the book you dictated to your human because, like me, you don’t have opposable thumbs is damned hilarious.** You are a pair of comic geniuses, and I am impressed. Congratulations on your new writing career. There are a few things that need to be set straight, though. Hey, Human, wake up! Take these down. First, foremost and most important, in all circumstances the cat is the boss. There are no exceptions. Period. Don’t even ask [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-cat-speaks-up/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You, Too, Can Be a Terrible Writer</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-too-can-be-a-terrible-writer/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-too-can-be-a-terrible-writer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:39:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bulwer-Lytton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elements of Style]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grammar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[run-on sentences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strunk and White]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terrible writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tongue-in-cheek]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32509</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you ever say to yourself, “I can’t write my way out of a paper bag?” Good! That’s a cliché. If you know and use a lot of those, you are well on your way to becoming a lousy writer. Being lousy doesn’t stop people from writing. There are people who are awful writers who write, anyway, because they don’t know how awful they are. Their friends pretend to read everything the inept scribe forces on them, and their reviews usually range from, “I thought it was cute” to “I enjoyed reading it.” Bad writers are easily encouraged by faint praise from people who don’t know squat but who sense that giving an author an unfavorable review to his face is a bad idea. It isn’t all fun and compliant friends, though. There is an art to being a terrible writer. If you don’t believe me, just check this out: The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest The winners of this contest work hard and long to come up with some of world’s crappiest writing, and they’re proud of it.* In fact, if you want a great lesson in ridiculous writing, read the first page of Bulwer-Lytton’s Paul Clifford, including its famous opening [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-too-can-be-a-terrible-writer/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Proverbs for Modern Times</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/proverbs-for-modern-times/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/proverbs-for-modern-times/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:45:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Who let the cat into the bag? It’s always darkest after you turn the lights off. It is better to light one flashlight than to curse the coffee table you just stubbed your toe on. Don’t judge another person until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Then you will know why he is such a bastard – his shoes are too tight. A bird in the hand is probably shitting all over your arm. An iPhone in the hand is worth two of your old cell phones in the kitchen drawer. Early to bed and early to rise make a man miss all the late-night television. A hair of the dog that bit you is a pretty silly thing to try to take from a dog that bites. Five dollar bill wise and $500 bill foolish. The early bird catches the special at the diner. Don’t let the sun set on your interpersonal relationship struggle. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer and I live somewhere in New York City. In other words, I'm weird, but harmless.More Posts - Twitter - Facebook - LinkedIn - Pinterest - YouTube]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/proverbs-for-modern-times/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kathy&#8217;s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-10/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-10/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2013 02:33:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Words to Think Upon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absurd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ice skating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idiots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Photography]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32130</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Don’t try to ice skate on a linoleum floor. You’ll look like a real dork. Your sneaky idiot friends will video you and post it on YouTube. The video will go viral and the whole world will laugh at you until people find something else to amuse them. Don’t try to take an upside-down picture by standing on your head. It’s much easier just to turn the picture upside-down after you take it, if you really care enough to be into that kind of thing. If you think you are an idiot, there is a good chance you are one. If everyone tells you that you are an idiot, it’s pretty definite. Don’t dress your dog and your kid in the same outfit and take their picture, no matter how cute they look. The dog will be mortified, and he won’t speak to you for at least a month. You’ll never become successful by failing. Trust me on this one. You can be funny all of the time or some of the time, but if you are never funny at any time don’t try to be a comedian. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-10/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shame on You, Justin Bieber!</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/shame-on-you-justin-bieber/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/shame-on-you-justin-bieber/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 01:06:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amsterdam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anne Frank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anne Frank House]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guest book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guest book entry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holocaust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Justin Bieber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31767</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, Justin! Tch! Tch! Tch! You had a free day in Amsterdam and decided to pay a visit to the Anne Frank House. That was very commendable of you – history, education and all that. You probably figured it would be a good publicity thing, too. Maybe you even learned something, like the way the Jews suffered and died under the Nazis. It doesn’t look like the story of Anne Frank and the others who shared that cramped hiding place for so long made much of an impression on you, though. The only things you could think of to write in the guest book were something about inspiration, Anne Frank being a great girl, and your hope that “she would have been a belieber.” Huffington Post’s Article Justin, Justin, Justin! Yes, if Anne Frank were living today instead of back in the 1930s and 1940s, she might be one of your fans. The best thing, of course, is that she would be alive and free if she lived today, even if she chose to be someone else’s fan instead of yours. If she had had a chance, she would have been a normal teenager. The thing is, she didn’t have [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/shame-on-you-justin-bieber/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kathy&#8217;s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-9/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-9/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 03:22:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absurd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dancing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hummus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[singing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[skunks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31644</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Don’t let your cat get into a relationship with a skunk. A skunk can be a real stinker. 2. Hummus has garlic in it. Remember that the next time you are having lunch in a health food restaurant with the person of your dreams. 3. If you think you can write, you are probably right. If you are not right, don’t write. 4. If you are tone-deaf, music is not the best thing to choose as a major in college. 5. “If you can speak, you can sing. If you can walk, you can dance.” Just make sure you won’t look like a real idiot before you try either of those in front of people. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer and I live somewhere in New York City. In other words, I'm weird, but harmless.More Posts - Twitter - Facebook - LinkedIn - Pinterest - YouTube]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-9/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unpacking After a Move, or If You Weren’t Crazy Before, You Will Be Now</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unpacking-after-a-move-or-if-you-werent-crazy-before-you-will-be-now/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unpacking-after-a-move-or-if-you-werent-crazy-before-you-will-be-now/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2013 02:50:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apartment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unpacking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31591</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is the third installment in my acclaimed series on moving.* You have now moved from one apartment into a better one. You have worked hard and long to get this new apartment, and are looking forward to celebrating the fruits of your victory. Only one thing is raining on your rapturous joy and ecstasy: moving! Picture this. You have transported all furniture, boxes and bags to your new digs, and are ready to start the process of transforming what was an empty space with paint on the walls into the apartment of your dreams. Day One Look at the mess and panic. Calculate that it will take you about 20 years to unpack all the stuff. Start with one of the bags. There are clothes in it. Easy, you think. Think again. These have to be put in your dresser drawers. Access to the dresser is blocked by several heavy boxes. Give up on the bags and start with the boxes that are blocking the dresser. Spend two hours emptying the boxes and figuring out where to put the stuff you packed in them. This isn’t easy, because some of your furniture, including tables and bookcases, is in the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unpacking-after-a-move-or-if-you-werent-crazy-before-you-will-be-now/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Ask Kathy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:28:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31569</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In case you are wondering, I was inspired to try this by comments made by a couple of my fellow HumorOutcasts writers. I won’t embarrass them by naming them here. They probably know who they are, anyway. Q. My boyfriend refuses to take me to Paris for the weekend. It isn’t a matter of money, because he’s filthy rich. He says his wife wants him at home. This just isn’t fair. She wants him all the time and never lets him go anywhere with any other female. I’m only asking for one lousy weekend in the City of Lights. She won’t even have to be around. When I called her up to ask her, very nicely, if I could just have him for two days, she threatened to come to my apartment with a loaded shotgun and use it on my face. All of my friends say she is being a selfish bitch. What do you say? A. Most wives want their husbands around “all the time.” They seem to think it’s part of being married to someone. Obviously, your boyfriend is no Ward Cleaver, and his wife knows this. This could be why she is keeping him on a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ask-kathy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Moron&#8217;s Guide to Packing for a Move</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-morons-guide-to-packing-for-a-move/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-morons-guide-to-packing-for-a-move/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Apr 2013 03:10:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moron's guide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving boxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[packing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31488</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Buy some boxes at Staples. Look for any with “made in China” labels and do not buy them. While you’re at it, buy some package sealing tape. The same “made in China” rule applies to this. Smile at the staff at Staples and look helpless, so that they will fold the boxes in half and put one of those plastic handles on them for you. When you finally get home, squeeze everything all at once through the front door. If you get stuck, tug harder. Pick yourself and all the boxes up from the floor and check for damage. Take one of the boxes and unfold it into a square (or a rectangle, whatever the blasted thing is). Fold the flaps on the bottom and hold them closed with one hand while grabbing the tape with the other hand. With your one free hand, search for the beginning of the tape and pick at it until it comes loose. The tape will wrinkle, double up and stick to itself. Find any sticky part of the tape that is still usable and stick it on the box to hold the flaps closed for a minute. Your cat will start to paw [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-morons-guide-to-packing-for-a-move/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
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		<title>If I Ever Move Again, May I Be (Insert Horrific Curse Here)</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/if-i-ever-move-again-may-i-be-insert-horrific-curse-here/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/if-i-ever-move-again-may-i-be-insert-horrific-curse-here/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2013 01:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apartment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[furniture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[movers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31335</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are nomads who haven’t moved as much as I have. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. Forget about it. Just mention the word “move” and my brain goes into overload, and then crashes in a system-wide breakdown, including sweating, tremors and running in circles, screaming. I just moved again, for the seventh or eighth time since returning to New York in 1982. This time it was into an inexpensive, partially-subsidized co-op for middle-income people, in a nice building just up the street. I won’t have to leave the neighborhood, and I can probably live there until I die or go into a nursing home, whichever comes first. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse, after spending a couple of years on a waiting list and fighting like a mother tiger protecting a cub when a snag or two showed its ugly face and threatened to take my apartment and give it to some stranger who would not love it or care for it like I would. It was either a pathological love of self-penance or desperation to get out of that humid, dark, rented basement apartment and into my own place in the sunlight. Despite the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/if-i-ever-move-again-may-i-be-insert-horrific-curse-here/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Ten Commandments of the Easter Vigil Mass</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-ten-commandments-of-the-easter-vigil-mass/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-ten-commandments-of-the-easter-vigil-mass/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Apr 2013 01:17:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion or Lack Of]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[catholic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[easter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Easter Vigil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mass]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31284</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Thou shalt not drip candle wax onto thy neighbor’s coat. 2. Thou shalt not smoke up the entire church with incense, thereby causing much coughing and sputtering among the people. 3. Thou shalt speak loudly and clearly when doing thy readings, with thy mouth close to the microphone. 4. Thou shalt not complain of the length of the service. Thou knowest full well how long it is and thou hast chosen to attend anyway. Thou must shut thy mouth and stop checking thy watch. 5. Thou shalt not cause thy mind to wander during the sermon. 6. Thou shalt not fall asleep during the service. 7. Thou must not be heard to whisper, “Oh no! How long is this going to take,” if there are several people being baptized or confirmed during the service. 8. Thou shalt not sing off-key into thy neighbor’s ear. 9. If thou be the organist, thou shalt make sure that every choir member has all the music. 10. If thou be a choir member, thou shalt gladly share music with thy neighbor and thou shalt not throw a hissy fit at the organist if he forgets to give you one page. To this author, [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Kathy&#8217;s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-8/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-8/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Mar 2013 05:29:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Words to Think Upon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[ice cream]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[points to remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31199</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Don’t try to eat ice cream with your fingers. It’s messy and it doesn’t taste as good on the end of your finger as it does in a spoon. The same goes for chocolate syrup and mashed potatoes. 2. Never try to wrestle with a cat. The cat will think you don’t love her any more, and she’ll take her revenge when you least expect it. 3. Never trust a humor writer. We’ll say anything to get a laugh. 4. If you believe Nos. 1 and 2 above, read No. 3 again. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer and I live somewhere in New York City. In other words, I'm weird, but harmless.More Posts - Twitter - Facebook - LinkedIn - Pinterest - YouTube]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>College Days and Nights</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/college-days-and-nights/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/college-days-and-nights/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:28:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[College Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[admissions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheerleader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College Admissions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30794</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Part One: Getting There To most people, the years spent at college are like an extended rite of passage. Unlike those imposed by primitive societies, college students don’t have to learn to hunt with poisoned darts, get promised in marriage to an old guy who is looking for a juicy virgin, or get painful scars all over their bodies just to show they are entering adulthood. They just have to take loads of classes, complete with quizzes, midterms, presentations and finals, and get enough good grades to be spit out at the end of four years as graduates. And they have to do this while cheering the football team, partying hard, getting stoned now and then and trying to hook up with someone they aren’t ashamed to be seen with.+ If you know all this, and are still eager to enter into a den of hungry lions without a weapon, read on. If not, stop right here. Time wasted is never retrieved. Choosing a School and Applying Gertrude “Hot Pants” Padinkelmeier’s grade point average never gets above a 2.5 in a good semester. She is known throughout several local high schools as “That Blond Cheerleader With the Great Rack.” Her [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<title>Catholic School Memories:  Christmas Pageants and Other Disasters</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/catholic-school-memories-christmas-pageants-and-other-disasters/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/catholic-school-memories-christmas-pageants-and-other-disasters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Mar 2013 01:54:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[catholic school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas pageant]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nuns]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My onstage debut was unforgettable. I was Innkeeper No. Two in St. Joseph’s Elementary School’s Annual Christmas Pageant. That was the year that we First Graders were reenacting the Nativity as our part of the Show that All Parents Were Expected to Sit Through. Each grade presented something different, and our school went all the way up to Grade Eight. You can imagine how long the whole mess was every year. Anyway, getting back to my debut &#8212; my choices were limited when it came to being cast in any of the parts. The really plum roles were out of the question. I was a homely girl, awkward, bony and tall for my age. I had the attention span of a gnat, and was given to daydreaming. There was no way I was going to be cast as The Virgin Mary. That part always went to one of the pretty, sweet-looking teacher’s pets. Because my inattention in class drove Sister Mary Agnes crazy, she wasn’t going to make me an angel, either. Joseph, the shepherds and the wise men were all boys. That was my first lesson in Life in the Theater. If the competition is stiff and you want [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
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		<title>Old People and Birthdays</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/old-people-and-birthdays/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/old-people-and-birthdays/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:17:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birthday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birthdays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[old]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[old people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[questionnaire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29885</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[To a child, a birthday is second only to Christmas as The Greatest Day of the Year. A birthday means a party, balloons, presents, and being the center of attention. It also means being one year closer to being either a big kid or an adult. It’s like a rite of passage with cake and ice cream instead of spears, poison darts or dancing until you drop. You don’t have to go through pain and agony to prove you are a useful member of society. You just have to be one year older than you were last year. Old people have a different perspective. To the Over-60 Crowd, birthdays have lost their luster. A birthday is a reminder that it’s time to write a will and plan your funeral, if only to make sure that you get some good music at the service. One year older means one year closer to the time people will be looking at what the mortician has done with your remains and saying, “She didn’t look this good when she was alive.” In order to get a clearer picture of how old people deal with birthdays, I have prepared the following questionnaire. I invite anyone [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Things You Can Learn From Scary Medical Emergencies</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/things-you-can-learn-from-scary-medical-emergencies/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/things-you-can-learn-from-scary-medical-emergencies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Feb 2013 01:34:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emergency room]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ER]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eyes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medical]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[medical humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ophthalmology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[surgery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vision]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29491</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You have probably been wondering why I haven’t been posting very much on Humor Outcasts lately. Either that, or you haven’t noticed. Whatever. Anyway, a couple of Saturdays ago I was sitting at my computer playing a game of Solitaire when, all of a sudden, the vision in my left eye went blurry. At that point, I lost all interest in playing Solitaire and concentrated on being scared half out of my mind. I called 911, after I combed my hair, brushed my teeth and made myself presentable for an emergency room visit. Remember what your mother always told you about being sure to wear good, clean underwear because you never knew when you might get hit by a truck? Well, the same principle applies to hair and teeth. Even if you might be dying, you don’t want the hospital staff to think you are a slob. So okay. The ambulance came, they brought me to Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital because I asked them to, I was deposited in the ER, and, as expected, was examined by the ophthalmology resident several hours later. They couldn’t find what was wrong with my eye, but gave me enough tests to assure me that it [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Kathy&#8217;s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-7/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-7/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Feb 2013 04:38:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freezer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fridge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frozen yogurt]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spaghetti sauce]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29446</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Leftover frozen yogurt that has been sitting in the freezer for two months after being opened isn’t the best choice for dessert. 2. If you have left ice cubes untouched in the freezer for so long that they have vaporized and disappeared, you have no basis for blaming anyone else for not filling the ice cube tray. 3. If it has white fuzz on it, it has been in the fridge too long. 4. For some weird reason, leftover spaghetti sauce tastes pretty good the next day, when it has been in the fridge for several hours. Nobody knows why this happens. The best thing to do is to heat it up with a couple of yesterday’s meatballs and not ask questions. 5. Don’t believe anyone who tells you you can cook meatballs in a microwave. Trust me. You will end up with meatballs, yes – but you will be able to bounce them off the floor. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in my 60s turned aspiring writer and I live somewhere in New York City. In other words, I'm weird, but harmless.More Posts - Twitter - Facebook - LinkedIn - Pinterest - YouTube]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ten Tips for Darkening Your Day</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ten-tips-for-darkening-your-day/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/ten-tips-for-darkening-your-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Jan 2013 20:55:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bosses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[darkening your day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dentist]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[root canal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weather]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28741</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Start the morning with a visit to the dentist and a root canal. I did this a few days ago. Fortunately, I am not afraid of dentists. I have been known to doze off during dental procedures. That’s what you do when you are sitting in a chair with two people standing over you wielding metal instruments: fall asleep, because you have nothing better to do. When you are a humor writer, inspiration can come from the weirdest sources. 2. Trip over something in your workplace and fall flat on your face, preferably in front of people, including the building manager. I did this, too, last week. It hurt my knee and my ego, not necessarily in that order. 3. When you are with a group of people, lag behind them and get lost, then blame them for not paying attention and waiting for you to catch up. No, I haven’t done this – yet. 4. Post a scathing denunciation of your boss, a colleague or a potential employer on Facebook, meaning it only for your “close friends,” and forget and post it as “public.” Be surprised when consequences happen. 5. Drop a $20 bill on the ground and [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>How Not to Be an Annoying Tourist in New York City</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-not-to-be-an-annoying-tourist-in-new-york-city/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-not-to-be-an-annoying-tourist-in-new-york-city/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2013 03:57:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[New York City]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tourist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tourists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28610</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In my last essay, titled “How to Talk to People in Europe Without Sounding Like a Stupid Foreigner,” I dropped some pearls of advice to American travelers in Europe. I will now reverse myself and poke fun of advise tourists about how to act while in New York City. Tourists from the US and Canada: I don’t care what they call it where you come from. A sandwich on a long piece of bread is a “hero.” Write that on a piece of paper, memorize it, then burn it. A sweet, fizzy drink that comes in a bottle or a can is a “soda.” It is not “pop” or anything else. You will get some really funny looks here if you ask for a bottle of “pop.” Locals will think you are asking for some new street drug that they never heard of and will be disappointed to find out that all you are talking about is a can of Sprite. No, you won’t find Tim Horton doughnuts here. Some people consider that a national tragedy. The people at Katz’s Delicatessen are happy to put up a sign letting everyone know where Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal were sitting when [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How to Talk to People in Europe Without Sounding Like a Stupid Foreigner</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-talk-to-people-in-europe-without-sounding-like-a-stupid-foreigner/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-talk-to-people-in-europe-without-sounding-like-a-stupid-foreigner/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Jan 2013 02:55:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[stupid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28365</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Foreigner?” you say. “FOREIGNER?! I’m an American. I am not a foreigner.” Well, I have news for you. When you are in other people’s countries, you are the foreigner. You are playing in their yard. And, as eager as they are to accept the money they figure you will throw around like rice at a wedding, they probably think of you as being one small step above pond scum in the evolutionary chain, especially if you act like a jerk. One way to avoid being a jerk is to learn at least something of the language of the country you are going to visit before you go there, unless you plan to spend the entire time clinging to a tour group. In that case you will all be doing things en masse to irritate the locals,* so ignorance of their language might come in handy as a convenient excuse for whatever annoying thing you have done. Learning another language is not easy, and it is true that a little knowledge can be dangerous. If you attempt to communicate with Europeans in their own languages, it is important not to end up saying something obscene, stupid or senseless. You will also [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-talk-to-people-in-europe-without-sounding-like-a-stupid-foreigner/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Kathy’s Points to Remember</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-6/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-6/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 02:14:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ongoing Series]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Points to Remember]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funerals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor writers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[professional singer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[random thought]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[singer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weather]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Okay! I’m back again with these. If you want to make something of this, please confine your wisecracks to the “Comments” section below. Thank you. For professional singers: 1. If you want to have a fun weekend, don’t start it off by singing at a 9:45 AM funeral on Saturday morning. 2. If you do sing at a 9:45 AM funeral on Saturday morning, enjoy the extra money you are making. You will soon have to say good-bye to it, anyway. Weather: 3. The day you decide to really bundle up will be the day your area will experience record high temperatures for the time of year it is. 4. The day you wear your boots and waterproof poncho and carry your biggest, most awkward umbrella will be the day the weatherman was wrong about the rain. 5. Conclusion: If you prepare for bad weather, it probably won’t happen. Therefore, if you want to make sure it will be a beautiful day, dress like an Eskimo and carry an umbrella the size of a large patio table. Miscellaneous 6. Never take advice from humor writers. You don’t know where our ideas have been. Kathy MinicozziI am an opera singer in [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kathys-points-to-remember-6/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Muscle Women Get No Respect</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/muscle-women-get-no-respect/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/muscle-women-get-no-respect/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Jan 2013 03:05:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kathy Minicozzi</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[invincible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Minicozzi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strong woman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[water]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[water cooler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women's lib]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women's liberation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27691</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If I could, I would live by two songs: 1. Helen Reddy’s I am Woman (“I am strong, I am invincible, I am WOMAN!”)1 2. Irving Berlin’s Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better from “Annie Get Your Gun.” It’s not that I’m competitive or anything. I just don’t like to acknowledge limitations. It’s more exciting to have limitations rise up and bite me on the rear. That, however, is a whole other story. Years ago, I saw a television miniseries about Israel’s first female Prime Minister, Golda Meir. There was one scene where the young Golda was living on a kibbutz and doing some work along with some of the other women. Whatever they were doing needed running water, and for some reason the water stopped. The women started to complain about how they were going to have to go get a man to get it working again. Bear in mind that these were not delicate ladies. These were toughened female kibbutzniks, used to roughing it. But if anything came up that looked like it required muscles, they became as helpless as a fluttery Victorian lady with a tight corset. Anyway, Golda shocked all of them by climbing [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
		</item>
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