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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; lbwoodgate</title>
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	<link>http://humoroutcasts.com</link>
	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>Best Body Usages?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/best-body-usages/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/best-body-usages/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 May 2013 13:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32601</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some people choose to squander the advances we humans have made since we first crawled out of the cesspool of our evolutionary beginnings &#160; The human animal.  The one with the most developed brain, even if many still only use that portion they first had at the beginning of our evolution over 6 million years ago.  We are both beast and angel; awe-inspiring and all confounding.  We are at our best when we expand the limits of that organ contained within our skulls.  But some see that space better serving lesser needs.  For the right price, the outside of the cranium, not the inside, best serves their interests. &#160;   &#160; Sure, they may earn some revenue for providing a part of their anatomy as a commercial billboard but they’ve also demonstrated the value they’ve placed on the essence of their being.  The tadpole they’ve evolved from has only served their need to provide more body space to give meaning to something of no redeeming value.  But in a world where we value the human being in us less than the cash we trade ourselves in for, who can be surprised that the lowest common denominator has persuasive powers over [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/best-body-usages/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Future of Sex Education in Ohio</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-future-of-sex-education-in-ohio/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-future-of-sex-education-in-ohio/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:00:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ohio NARAL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ohio Planned Parenthood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex ed teaching that condones “gateway sexual activity”]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex education in Ohio schools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31897</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sex Ed classes will become severely restricted if an amendment attached to their budget bill passes both Houses and signed off by the governor. New sex education standards that would ban any teaching that condones “gateway sexual activity” and allows parents to sue if their child receives such instruction are among the Republican amendments added to the two-year budget bill today.   SOURCE With such a vague reference its hard to know exactly what could be classified as a “gateway sexual activity” by an ultra-conservative court so in the future here’s a possible example of sex ed in Ohio highs schools. &#160; Teacher:  Today class we will be discussing how babies are born.  There will be a slide presentation and following that we will open it up for discussion.  Gwen, get the lights please. &#160; Teacher: Gwen get the lights.   Any questions class? &#160; In a related story, an anonymous mailing was sent to all Ohio GOP House and Senate representatives with the following message Any questions Republicans? lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-future-of-sex-education-in-ohio/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>12</slash:comments>
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		<title>Dick’s Claim of Defending “vaginas”</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dicks-claim-of-defending-vaginas/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dicks-claim-of-defending-vaginas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Apr 2013 10:07:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conservative old white men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Hampshire representative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vaginas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31865</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At least he didn&#8217;t say the &#8220;C&#8221; word &#160; After New Hampshire State Rep. Peter Hansen(R) referred to women as “vaginas” in his defense of stronger laws to carry guns he retorted, following the firestorm of his comments, by saying: “Having a fairly well educated mind I do not need self appointed wardens to A: try to put words in my mouth for political gain and B: Turn a well founded strategy in communication into an insulting accusation, and finally if you find the noun vagina insulting or in some way offensive then perhaps a better exercise might be for you to re-examine your psyche.” Later, he released a statement claiming he was taken out of context, saying “It was not, and is not, my intention to demean women at any time. It is apparent that the intent of my remarks has been misinterpreted, the true goal of the message lost and for that I apologize to those who took offense.”   SOURCE &#160; But that&#8217;s alright.  Hansen and the “dicks” like him make themselves perfectly clear with their so-called misinterpreted remarks lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dicks-claim-of-defending-vaginas/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>&#8220;I see Dead People&#8221;  Brain-dead people that is</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-see-dead-people-brain-dead-people-that-is/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-see-dead-people-brain-dead-people-that-is/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:50:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brain dead politicians]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Louie Gohmert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Steve Stockman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas crazy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Extremism of any stripe is always profoundly ignorant and detached from reality.  Feeling passionate about an issue always needs to be accompanied with arguments that people can identify with and that have plausibility.   But don&#8217;t inform Texas politicians about this.  They&#8217;ll have you skinned and boned for such heresy. Zealots who oppose any and every kind of gun control legislation have demonstrated just how far they are willing to take their fanaticism in recent months. Abortion opponents have also gone to extreme measures to prevent any woman from ending an unwanted pregnancy.  So it comes as no surprise that this duel fanaticism would show up in a political campaign and no-less than a bumper sticker slogan. Steve Stockman is running for re-election in a the new 36th Texas congressional district that was formed by the GOP after winning majorities in the House back in 2010.  Apparently Stockman is out to take the crown away from Louie Gohmert for most bat-shit crazy congress creature in Texas.   Gohmert‘s 1st district was also part of the GOP gerrymandering that allowed him to defeat the Democrat incumbent. If Stockman’s bumper sticker isn’t evidence enough of poor mental sate then perhaps this tweet of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-see-dead-people-brain-dead-people-that-is/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<title>The body doesn’t lie.  It gets laid</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-body-doesnt-lie-it-gets-laid/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-body-doesnt-lie-it-gets-laid/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:11:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[body language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crystal Harris]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hefner]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31077</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Body language can tell you a lot of what humans will often conceal. If I were to interpret the picture below of Hugh Hefner’s young 26-year old bride, Crystal Harris, showing some apparent reluctance to be overly affectionate with her 86-year old Playboy mogul, I don’t think I would be too far off the mark to hear something like, “I do what I have to do to live the life I want.” &#160; Hefner’s body language on the other hand seems to be telling us what Mel Brooks pointed out in History of the World Part I,  “It’s good to be the king”. lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-body-doesnt-lie-it-gets-laid/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<title>Scriptural Fantasy at its Best</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/scriptural-fantasy-at-its-best/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/scriptural-fantasy-at-its-best/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Mar 2013 17:29:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion or Lack Of]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History Channel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[michelle williams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama lookalike]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Bible]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30746</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[   If some Obama lookalike has to play Satan in the History Channel&#8217;s &#8220;The Bible&#8221; then I want Michelle Williams to play God &#160; So the bible thumpers are all in a stir about some Obama lookalike portraying Satan on the History Channel’s production of “The Bible”.   It’s not enough that these people take the ancient scriptures as the inerrant word of God seriously but now they seem to relish in the notion that their mortal enemy in the White House has been aptly casted in a video version of this fantasy.  And of course some liberals and other Obamaphiles are mad as hell. Well I have a solution.  If the liberal anger is partly the result of the glee that many of the religious right or displaying on Twitter, Facebook and other social media sources, then Mark Burnnett, the producer of the History Channel series ought play “fair and balanced” and cast someone like Michelle Williams as God.  The religious right would self-implode over such imagery. The outcome could generate a great success however, not only for the series but for the decreasing constituency of Christianity today.  The Ayn Rand right, who already think Obama is the anti-Christ [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/scriptural-fantasy-at-its-best/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>At Last!  A Pope With a Sense of Humor?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/at-last-a-pope-with-a-sense-of-humor/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/at-last-a-pope-with-a-sense-of-humor/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Mar 2013 20:31:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun in the Vatican]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new pope Cardinal Bergoglio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[woody allen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30543</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If the incoming Pope,  Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires, is anything like his comedic look alike, Woody Allen, the Vatican may for the first time since just before the Inquisition, hear laughter in its centuries old chambers. &#160;   A Pope named Francis resembling a Jewish comedian named Woody.   How serious could it be? lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/at-last-a-pope-with-a-sense-of-humor/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t Click That Link</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-click-that-link/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-click-that-link/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 02 Mar 2013 20:57:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male enhancement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male sex drive in a pill]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men's health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[penis enlargement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[testosterone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[viagra]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30102</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WARNING FOR ALL WOMEN: Male Sex Education Follows  &#160; For anyone who sits in front of a computer screen daily and opens their browser page they will inevitably be hit with an ad that appeals to a male’s testosterone levels.  Lord knows most men are compelled to feel they can still effect an erection “naturally” without the aid of a drug like Viagra and Cialis.  So when an ad very similar to the one here appears on your screen, what hot-blooded man is not going to see what’s behind such “weirdness”. It turns out however that “natural” will have little to do with what’s promised you.    Once you’ve clicked on the link that says Learn More, you quickly realize that the only thing you will “learn” is that you have once again become the victim of the oldest con since the snake convinced Eve of what great things lay in store for her upon eating that forbidden fruit. If you were thinking that clicking on the link would reveal even greater “weirdness” than some voluptuous, nubile, scantily-clad woman running through golden fields of wheat softly caressing her thighs, you will soon deflate to the reality that you have been pimped and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-click-that-link/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>It All &#8220;Ads&#8221; Up</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/it-all-ads-up/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/it-all-ads-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:12:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Japanese advertising]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leg ads]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male testosterone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vagi-gi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women's thighs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29811</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What kind of man looks at a woman’s legs, especially the upper thigh of young nubile ladies and thinks to themselves, “Something is missing here”?  I can’t ever recall having my head turned by a lovely set of lower stems on the opposite sex and wishing they could me more concealed with marketing logos and information to enhance my appreciation of fleshy thighs.  But if you&#8217;re in advertising, no place is too sacred to hawk your customer&#8217;s product. It is a country known for its unique way of advertising. But now Japan has gone one step further with women renting out their bare legs for companies market their products in return for payment. With the notion that a good advertisement should be put where everyone&#8217;s eyes are drawn, an attractive woman&#8217;s limbs seem like the perfect idea &#8211; and sure enough, the clever marketing strategy is proving a huge hit with businesses all across Tokyo.   As of November 2012, about 1,300 girls have already registered their legs as ad space with Absolute Territory PR, and the number keeps increasing.   SOURCE    Now naturally the lascivious nature of most men will find this appealing to some extent by allowing us to look at [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/it-all-ads-up/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
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		<title>A Demonstration of How Dumbing Down Doesn’t Work</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-demonstration-of-how-dumbing-down-doesnt-work/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-demonstration-of-how-dumbing-down-doesnt-work/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Feb 2013 14:48:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dumbass in Alabama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[potty thief]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29462</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dale Peterson, who has just discovered that going to the bathroom before shopping Wal-Mart is better than not doing so   Dale Peterson, a former Republican candidate for Alabama agriculture commissioner known for an ad hitting &#8220;thugs and criminals&#8221; that &#8220;don&#8217;t give a rip,&#8221; says he will attempt to get a shoplifting charge dismissed. Peterson was stopped by employees at a Wal-Mart after taking a shopping cart of beer and paper towels past the store&#8217;s cash registers without paying. He claims he was rushing to the bathroom, not trying to steal beer.   SOURCE &#160; A smarter man would have known that though Wal-Mart buys cheap Chinese goods, they can afford to supply toilet paper in their bathrooms.  And you might want to wait on emptying your bladder from the last 6-pack of beer you consumed before starting over. lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-demonstration-of-how-dumbing-down-doesnt-work/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<title>Who da Man?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/who-da-man/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/who-da-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:32:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crybaby Boehner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orange M&M]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know, when you want to talk tough in politics first you have to have set of policies that engender the people to your point of view.   The GOP already has a strike against them in this category. &#8220;I think he&#8217;d like to deal with it [fiscal problems], but to do the kind of heavy lifting that needs to be done, I don&#8217;t think he&#8217;s got the guts to do it,” House speaker John Boehner said in an attempt to bait the President to buck his party on the issues of Social Security and Medicare.     SOURCE  &#160; But then you have to select someone who reflects this tough mindedness who can convince the country that they are the strong leader that will put this country back on the path to recovery. So why would you send this guy out to browbeat the president on budget issues? Strike Two. &#160; If you’re going to send someone in orange skin out to tackle the commander-in-chief, this guy is likely to be more intimidating than the crybaby-in-chief But this is likely all you’ll see between Obama and Orange M&#38;M &#160; BOOYAH!  STRIKE THREE lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/who-da-man/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Woe Unto Them That Smite Their Server</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/woe-unto-them-that-smite-their-server/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/woe-unto-them-that-smite-their-server/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2013 20:53:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion or Lack Of]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[no tip from tither]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pastor leaves sermon instead of tip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[waiter stiffed by pastor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28682</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I love it when people who flaunt their affiliation with the Almighty and their savior Jesus Christ provide glaring examples of why I disassociated myself with the Church years ago.  It was an embarrassment to be connected to a faith whose representatives seemed at times more often to be self-serving than they were mankind-serving as scripture ordains that we do for the least amongst us.  But clearly not everyone sees it this way, even a man of the cloth who you would think would be most likely to show a kindness to someone who just waited on him. A pastor&#8217;s note on a restaurant bill has unleashed an unholy outcry on Reddit. A snapshot shared by an apparently stiffed server shows the gratuity scratched out and a big &#8220;0&#8243; written in its place. &#8220;I give God 10% Why do you get 18&#8243; the diner scrawled on the $34.93 receipt, adding the word &#8220;Pastor&#8221; above his signature.   SOURCE &#160; Now this waiter may hardly be starving or struggling to make ends meet but anyone who has worked in a restaurant or knows someone who has knows that waiters don’t even make minimum wage.  They depend primarily on tips from customers to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/woe-unto-them-that-smite-their-server/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>10</slash:comments>
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		<title>Solace Six Feet Under</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/solace-six-feet-under/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/solace-six-feet-under/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jan 2013 19:11:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28252</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Looking somewhere to make a killing on your investments?  Then death may be right up your alley. . Fredrik Hjelmquist, a Stockholm music &#38; video equipment store owner, designed a coffin with speakers that would provide solace for grieving friends &#38; relatives by allowing them to create a playlist for the deceased &#38; update it online. &#8216;This is really rock &#8216;n&#8217; roll, I think, but at the same time beautiful,&#8217; he said. (© Ints Kalnins/Reuters) Invest quickly however before this offer expires. Now, I don’t want to shatter anyone’s illusions about the hereafter but I’m pretty sure that by making Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” the first tune your departed loved one hears is no guarantee that this will open any pearly gates.   Equally true then, Uriah Heeps “Fires of Hell&#8221; will have little effect on their descent to the master of the dark underworld. In fact, the only creature that may gain any benefit from music six feet under will be the subject of this little ditty sung by this Paul Stooky look-a-like of Peter, Paul and Mary fame, Robin Morgan. lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Deadly Assault By a Semi-Sweet Chocolate Mocha</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/deadly-assault-by-a-semi-sweet-chocolate-mocha/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/deadly-assault-by-a-semi-sweet-chocolate-mocha/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:01:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assault weapons ban]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Keene]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NRA]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28064</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEWS FLASH!   On a right-wing talk show on Thursday, David Keene, the president of the National Rifle Association, blamed President Obama and the left for what he says have been hundreds of death threats made against him and his family.   SOURCE Not to worry though.   Those ideologues on the left making the death threats surely don’t own assault weapons.  That would be an oxymoron.  Unlike the ideologues on the right who routinely send death threats to the president. Therefore in all likelihood Keene’s assailants will probably utilize their tea spoons to cull his eyeballs out.  Or, they could walk up to him with a hot cup of latte and toss it on him, giving him 3rd degree burns and a scent of expresso for weeks afterwards.  He ought to be careful too as he pulls out of his driveway.  They may be lying in wait to T-bone him once he backs into the street. On the other hand if they have developed some mental disorders recently they might have purchased, at a gun show of course, one of them AR-15s in the mad rush with the gun nuts to get them before Obama bans them.  Then there [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/deadly-assault-by-a-semi-sweet-chocolate-mocha/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Law Changes Nature</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/law-changes-nature/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/law-changes-nature/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Jan 2013 20:30:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anti-gay marriage protest in france]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27826</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Protest against gay marriage: Huge crowds expected in Paris By Tom Heneghan, Reuters &#160; PARIS &#8211; Several hundred thousand people are expected to march through Paris on Sunday against the planned legalization of same-sex marriage in the first mass protest against the unpopular President Francois Hollande. Virginie Merle, an eccentric comedian known as Frigide Barjot, who is leading the so-called &#8220;Demo for All,&#8221; insists the protest is pro-marriage rather than anti-gay and has banned all but its approved banners saying a child needs a father and a mother to develop properly. &#8220;We&#8217;re all born of a man and a woman, but the law will say the opposite tomorrow,&#8221; she said last week. &#8220;It will say a child is born of a man and a man.&#8221; Some things you just can&#8217;t make up. lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/law-changes-nature/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>DMV Goof Opens Pathway for Females in Major League Baseball</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/freak-accident-opens-pathway-for-females-in-major-league-baseball/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/freak-accident-opens-pathway-for-females-in-major-league-baseball/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Dec 2012 21:51:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27233</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In what&#8217;s been called an error by his local DMV, Arizona Diamondback’s newly acquired pitcher, Brandon McCarthy has shown the way that may allow women into what to date has been a male-dominated sport &#8211; Major League Baseball. &#160; Brandon McCarthy’s driver’s license says he’s a female. The Diamondbacks’ newest pitcher apparently took care of getting his license renewed over the holiday break. There was just one problem, though: The local DMV got its letters mixed up. While McCarthy’s license correctly states that he’s 6-foot-7 and has hazel eyes (we think), the easy party — male or female — appears to have gotten adjusted during the renewal process. McCarthy’s wife, Amanda, was all over it.     SOURCE   &#160; Yes ladies.  For the price of a sex change you talented athletes who have been shamed by the likes of Rush Limbaugh and who, with an increase in testosterone could likely out-catch, out-pitch and out-hit many of your male counterparts, can now be earning those big bucks that some of the male prima donnas do. To my knowledge there is nothing in the by-laws of major league baseball that make players who have had sex changes ineligible.  And think how [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/freak-accident-opens-pathway-for-females-in-major-league-baseball/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Hand Job</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/hand-job/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/hand-job/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Dec 2012 12:13:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hand clubs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hands for groping]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26881</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So it appears some brainiac at the University of Utah has developed a theory surmising that “human hands may have evolved their unique shape in order to better punch the living daylights out of competitors.” The hand shape essentially turns &#8220;this relatively delicate musculoskeletal system into an effective club,&#8221; said study co-author David Carrier, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Utah.  This isn&#8217;t the first time Carrier has argued that humans evolved to fight. Last year he published research suggesting that humans became bipedal to better land crushing blows. &#8220;If you stop and look at what we know about the other species, we&#8217;re a relatively violent group of mammals,&#8221; Carrier told LiveScience.   SOURCE   &#160; Seriously?  What tree branch did this neanderthal swing from?   We may be a violent group of mammals but we have priorities too and hands serve our self-pleasuring interests first and foremost.  Do these look like the hands that want to club people? &#160; This relatively delicate musculoskeletal system is also capable of groping other body parts to pleasure ourselves by but proper decorum prevents me from providing images of this. lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/hand-job/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Junk Mail</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/junk-mail/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/junk-mail/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Dec 2012 11:45:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2nd amendment abuses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[original intent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[postal service demise]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26878</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; &#160; Ben Franklin&#8217;s noble idea diminished to a pile of trash no one asked for and no one wants. What gives with the Founding Fathers?  They clearly lacked certain clairvoyant skills.  First it&#8217;s the 2nd amendment that fails to see it ultimately being exploited to increase gun sells and then Ben Franklin&#8217;s seemingly brilliant idea to allow people to stay in touch with each other turns into a black hole for every huckster born today Where&#8217;s the effort to enforce &#8220;Original Intent&#8221; when it&#8217;s really needed lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/junk-mail/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Christmas Minimalists</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/christmas-minimalists/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/christmas-minimalists/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:20:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Xmas decorating humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26663</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Don’t you just love this time of year that maxes out credit cards and unites families to revisit arguments from the year before?  And how better to exhibit this joy than redecorating your house with cheap junk made with sweat labor from Asia.   When I was working for a new home builder as a Warranty Manager I had the pleasure of knowing an elderly couple who for them, Christmas was the ultimate holiday and they showed it by elaborate displays of Christmas paraphernalia that would make the shops on Rodeo Drive jealous. The couple, Merry and Dave &#8211; that’s right, even the wife’s name reflected their love for the holiday &#8211; owned a home in Frisco, Texas and utilized an entire bedroom and its walk-in closet to store all of their ornaments, tree, lights and statues of Kris Kringle, angels, elves and reindeer.  If there was any part of the Christmas tree showing, it was an oversight that was quickly corrected with another ornament of the Magi or a sled.  It was an event that took Dave an entire month to assemble and hang, and another to take it all down and store away until next year.  It was literally wall-to-wall [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/christmas-minimalists/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>What&#8217;s In a Name?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/whats-in-a-name/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/whats-in-a-name/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2012 11:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible codes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[biden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orly Taitz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[political humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ryan]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24833</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The depressing state of the current political campaign has been so egregious that even I can’t weigh in much longer.  However that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with this silly season.  In the vein of the bible decoding scams I started playing around with the letters of the presidential and VP candidates’ last names to see if there was anything striking that could be divined from them.  I know.  Get a job right?  If only. Anyway, I was a little surprised that with the limited choices I had at how well the words I could create seem to reveal prophetic traits of the candidates. &#160; The only rule I made for myself was that I had to use ALL of the letters of their last name to form real words. &#160; So starting with the VP candidates here’s what I came up with. &#160; &#160; BIDEN &#8211; In Bed     Politically speaking, when you are in bed with someone you are supportive and aligned with their ideas and policies.  OMG!  Does this speak directly to Biden or what?  As Obama’s Vice-president Biden has been nothing but a loyal advocate for the POTUS. RYAN &#8211; Now this one [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/whats-in-a-name/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Stag Party?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/stag-party/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/stag-party/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Oct 2012 15:58:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religion or Lack Of]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evolution as gift from Satan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[example of theocracy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Islamophobe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Broun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[separation of church and state]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stag trophies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23974</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; With at least 17 stag heads nailed to the back wall of the stage he was standing on, Islamophobe Rep. Paul Broun, R-Ga., preaches to a group during the 2012 Sportsman&#8217;s Banquet at Liberty Baptist Church in Hartwell, Ga, laying out his interpretation of scripture. “All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the big bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell.” “It&#8217;s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.” There are a lot of scientific data that upholds his belief “that the earth&#8217;s but about 9,000 years old”. Infers that God is a capitalist, calling the bible a “manufacturer&#8217;s handbook”. That the bible also “teaches us how to run all of public policy and everything in society”, using it as his “major directions” for voting in Washington, D.C. &#160; Rep. Broun sure has a right to his wild-eyed views about scripture but he might want a better back drop in the future to convey the message of his spiritual leader who was nailed to a cross by 1st century Romans. &#160; lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/stag-party/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>Outrage Expressed Over &#8220;Free Contraception&#8221; Study</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/outrage-expressed-over-free-contraception-study/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/outrage-expressed-over-free-contraception-study/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2012 21:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abortion preventative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anti-Obama conservatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[free contraception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religious right]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23921</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Religious Right and conservatives double down on their efforts to block efforts by women to use pill. A dramatic new study with implications for next month’s presidential election finds that offering women free birth control can reduce unplanned pregnancies &#8212; and send the abortion rate spiraling downward. When more than 9,000 women ages 14 to 45 in the St. Louis area were given no-cost contraception for three years, abortion rates dropped from two-thirds to three-quarters lower than the national rate, according to a new report by Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis researchers. From 2008 to 2010, annual abortion rates among participants in the Contraceptive Choice Project  &#8211; dubbed CHOICE &#8212; ranged from 4.4 abortions per 1,000 women to 7.5 abortions per 1,000. That’s far less than the 19.6 abortions per 1,000 women nationwide reported in 2008, the latest year for which figures are available. Among teen girls ages 15 to 19 who participated in the study, the annual birth rate was 6.3 per 1,000 girls, far below the U.S. rate of 34.3 per 1,000 for girls the same age.    SOURCE Despite this positive news for opponents of abortion many on the religious right see this [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/outrage-expressed-over-free-contraception-study/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Are Homeless People Happy Living in Cardboard Boxes?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/are-homeless-people-happy-living-in-cardboard-boxes/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/are-homeless-people-happy-living-in-cardboard-boxes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2012 10:30:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ann Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cardboard box homes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homeless shelters]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23900</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ann Romney has gone on-line and asked wiki.answers a question that’s always been a puzzle to her.  Having never had to worry about her financial security, Ann’s question seems concerned about why homeless people make the choices they do regarding their living conditions. Okay that’s not true.  I was just playing the game they play at FOX News by putting something out there to create misinformation for people who usually don’t keep up with politics.  By the time most of you would have realized that this was contrived, at least 50% would have taken it seriously and retained it within their memory at some level until the day they die. But someone actually has asked the following question “Why do homeless people choose to live in cardboard boxes?” First you have to be naive to think that this was a realistic choice.  You’d also have to believe that being homeless was a choice I suppose. But in the vein of this charade passing as a serious inquiry, let’s see what the top ten equally inane answers might be. 10. Cardboard doesn’t cling to you like plastic and remains in place better than newspapers 9. The homeless can more easily pick their neighborhood 8. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/are-homeless-people-happy-living-in-cardboard-boxes/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Shocker!  Mitt Prefers Big Bird over the Count</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shocker-mitt-prefers-big-bird-over-the-count/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shocker-mitt-prefers-big-bird-over-the-count/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2012 10:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[big bird and mitt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Denver presidential debate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PBS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sesame street characters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Count]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23892</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was astounded to discover that of all the characters on Sesame Street that Mitt Romney would say that he loved, it was Big Bird.  At least that’s what he told Jim Lehrer the other night at the first Presidential debates in Denver Who da thunk. I would have bet my last dollar that Count von Count would have been Romney’s preference &#160; &#160; lbwoodgate"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today". - Mark TwainMore Posts]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shocker-mitt-prefers-big-bird-over-the-count/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bawdy Wednesday Humor</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/bawdy-wednesday-humpr/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/bawdy-wednesday-humpr/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Sep 2012 15:18:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lbwoodgate</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Risque Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[castration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[longevity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smaller penises]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23523</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It appears males can live longer &#8211; up to 14 years more &#8211; if they’re castrated. &#160; Ballsy study reveals cutting off testicles helps men live longer &#160; At 63, I can consider this topic a lot easier than I would have at 23.  This doesn’t seem all that bad in a world of effective anesthetics and doing so late in life, when you and your spouse are long past having S-E-X anyway. Besides, according to Rush Limbaugh our penises are shrinking anyway from conspiracies conjured up by “feminazis”. But the catch here is that castration has to occur in your youth, before your sexual prime time plays itself out. A paraphrase to a popular Willie Nelson song comes to mind. &#8220;Momma, please let your babies grow up with their testicles&#8221;. &#160; Who Needs 14 extra more years At 91 Abe Vigoda hardly needs another 14 years.  Castration at an early age would have more value if we knew longevity was not in our future. &#160; So let’s see &#8211; sexual orgasms for 40 plus years (50-60 years with prescription aids) over living 14 more years at an age where not only sex is a thing of the past but [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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	</channel>
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