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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; Cheri Thacker</title>
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	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>The Divinely Appointed of Bunco Groups</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-divinely-appointed-of-bunco-groups/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-divinely-appointed-of-bunco-groups/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Feb 2013 22:56:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bunco groups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bunko groups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dangerously high cholesterol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[days of creation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gossiping women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soccer moms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[supreme court justice appointments for minivan moms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29580</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Bunco Group Member – the coveted suburban title to which every soccer mom aspires.  In a lost scroll found, archaeologists learned that on the eighth day God created Bunco groups consisting of twelve women.  After these first divinely appointed women, the only way into a Bunco group was/is by death.  It’s like Supreme Court Justice Appointments for Mini-van Moms. I think this is the most absurd thing I can imagine. And I hope someone dies soon so I can get an appointment to the group in which I’ve served as a sub the last two months. It takes networking, politicking, and a current member with dangerously high cholesterol levels to get an appointment to a Bunco group.  You could always start your own, but it wouldn’t be recognized as “Original Lineage” by the Garden of Eden Bunco Association whose motto is “Bringing you the gossip since Eve bit the Apple.”  Or, some people simply refer to them as Southern Baptists. And don’t get fooled by one of those impostor groups either.  If you get invited to a “BunKo” group, steer clear.  Every blue-blood member of the society knows that it’s BunCo with a big fat “C” and it’s derived from the Latin words “bunimus cominus” which means, “Girrrrrrls, get your [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>The First Argument &#8211; Adam &amp; Eve</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-first-argument-adam-eve/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-first-argument-adam-eve/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:36:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adam and Eve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bible Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Garden of Eden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stressed out imperfect women]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28673</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t know why I’m a perfectionist.  Possibly because I’m the first-born? Maybe because I’m a woman? It could even be a DNA type thing—that obviously didn&#8217;t mutate to my teenage crumbsnatchers.  Whatever the reason, somewhere inside lives an evil voice that is never happy with anything I do. I sometimes wonder if Eve was a perfectionist.  Do you think conversations like this could be overheard in the Garden of Eden? ************************************************************* Adam (In from a hard day’s work):  Hey honey, I’m home! Eve:  Don’t track your feet through the beach sand!  I spent all day combing it with palm leaves! Adam (Scratching his head as he sets his briefcase down):  Are we having company? Eve:  Adam!  I reminded you this morning before we rolled out of the lush green meadow that God was coming over for dinner tonight! Adam:  Oh yeah.  I forgot.  That explains why you’re all stressed out. Eve:  &#60;through gritted teeth&#62;  What did you say?  I’m—not—stressed.  I just want everything to be perfect when He gets here. Adam:  We live in the Garden of Eden, honey.  I think that is the definition of perfection.  Well, except for that one apple that we can’t have. Eve:  That’s right, Adam.  We do live in [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-first-argument-adam-eve/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How&#8217;s That Working for Ya?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hows-that-working-for-ya/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hows-that-working-for-ya/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2013 20:03:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Phil Show]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exhusbands]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How's that working for ya?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mama Bread Baker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[television therapy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28052</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You&#8217;ve got to wonder about the kind of life someone lives when they&#8217;ve emailed the Dr. Phil Show only twice in their lifetime, and both times a producer called to request they appear on the program. Well, I can tell you it is a pretty normal life—except for those two things I emailed the Dr. Phil show about. In my defense, Dr. Phil has some misleading forms on his website.   He has an “Ask Dr. Phil” section where, by nature of its name, I thought it to be exactly that. So back in 2005 I emailed Dr. Phil a question about a pressing life situation. I expected an email response from a psychology intern on the “Ask Dr. Phil” staff that would offer up some sage Texas advice like, “When you walk a mile in someone else’s boots, you’re a mile farther down the road than you were before.” Instead, I came home from work one afternoon to find the message “Call Dr. Phil” written on our family message board. That’ll put dinner on hold for just about anyone, I betcha! I called the number which put me through to an assistant producer. She explained they had an upcoming [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>An Asterisk to Dave Barry&#8217;s Colonoscopy Essay</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/an-asterisk-to-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-essay/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/an-asterisk-to-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-essay/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:19:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[colonoscopy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dave barry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[differences between men and women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MoviPrep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nuclear laxative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27591</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, only this time while sober.  I want to be Dave Barry—without the man parts.  As a new writer, I kept hearing over and over in my head the mantra “write what you know.”  Actually, it was Chief repeating it over and over in my ear because he grew tired of the sight of me in front of my computer wearing only a bathrobe and a blank stare.  I looked around at the fodder my family provided.  Bingo!  I’d write about them. I posted my first piece and everyone praised my humor skills.  It was a serious piece, and since I didn’t purvey that tone, I decided it might be better if I hone in on the funny. So I went to the library and came across Miami Herald’s humor columnist Dave Barry’s books.  I checked a few out and curled up in bed that night to read.  The man is exceptionally gifted, or really warped, or has access to some really good hallucinogenic drugs, and I couldn’t stop laughing.  Suddenly, I recalled I’d read his colonoscopy essay and I knew this man would now, and forever be, my humor idol because anyone that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/an-asterisk-to-dave-barrys-colonoscopy-essay/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
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		<title>What Amazon Suggested for My Reading Pleasure&#8211;**Intentionally Unfunny Post**</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/what-amazon-suggested-for-my-reading-pleasure-intentionally-unfunny-post/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/what-amazon-suggested-for-my-reading-pleasure-intentionally-unfunny-post/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:46:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25993</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009O2WCCE/ref=pe_259560_27082590_email_sim_2_ti Way to go Deb and HumorPress! &#160; Cheri ThackerCheri Thacker resides in Bartlett, TN and writes a weekly humor column for The Bartlett Express. The Crumb Snatcher Tales takes an offbeat look at a family one talking dog away from a sitcom. Because she has trouble staying focused, she also writes short stories, feature articles, and sports articles.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/what-amazon-suggested-for-my-reading-pleasure-intentionally-unfunny-post/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>HEADLINE: Mismatched Socks Save Relationships</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/headline-mismatched-socks-save-relationships/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/headline-mismatched-socks-save-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:14:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24747</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Weekly Crumb Snatcher Herald Monday October 22, 2012 My Life Section Page 3M Mismatched Socks Bring Teens and Parents Together by Cheri Thacker A Tennessee mother-daughter duo recently discovered the secret to communication between generations.  This mother, fondly called Mama Bread Baker by the hordes of teenagers that gather at her home, accidentally stumbled upon the key to eliminating teenage conflict, but admits she couldn’t have done it without the suggestion of her seventeen-year-old daughter, Sweet Pea. “I didn’t do anything special,” Sweet Pea modestly stated when I caught up with her and her mother in their outdoor swing.  “I just told her to try it.” Mama Bread Baker, 44, already helped two older crumb snatchers navigate their path to adulthood.  Her biggest regret is that she’d been unable to unlock this secret earlier.  “I feel so guilty.  They both tried to tell me, but it seemed too simplistic and yet, at the same time, too difficult to try.” It’s not too late for Wolfy, also 17, and the newest household member of teenagedom, 13-year-old G-Bear.  They were scarfing a plate of warm-from-the-oven brownies when I asked their thoughts on this breakthrough. Wolfy expressed his wishes for his father, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/headline-mismatched-socks-save-relationships/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Bowls the Cat Likes Jazz</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/bowls-the-cat-likes-jazz/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/bowls-the-cat-likes-jazz/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Oct 2012 23:26:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bowls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cats]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chardonnay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24311</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Greetings audience of readers of mediocre writing and the occasional chuckle&#8211;if one were pressed&#8211;that my Female Human Captor likes to call a &#8220;blog.&#8221; My name is Bowls the Cat.  My human captors insist upon calling me by the last name of that widely-foreheaded quarterback that hailed from the Giant Pumpkin University, or what other idiotic beings refer to as The University of Tennessee. I didn&#8217;t like that name so I changed it to Bowls.  I like bowls.  They come in different sizes, textures, depths, colors&#8230;but I digress. After a convincing takeover of this blog-by alternately pouncing onto the desk, landing on top of the keyboard then pouncing on my Female Human Captor&#8217;s hairier-than-mine-legs&#8211;rendering the blog totally mine to do with as I wish, I have mercifully decided to allow my Female Human Captor to share this blog with me. I will post at my whim.  She may post all other times. In the meantime, I must insist that she regale me with a little Norah Jones and a nice glass of chardonnay&#8230; Watch how smooth I am&#8230;&#8230;.. © 2012 CThacker Cheri ThackerCheri Thacker resides in Bartlett, TN and writes a weekly humor column for The Bartlett Express. The Crumb Snatcher [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>&#8220;My, What Red Hair He Has&#8221; Said Grandma</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/my-what-red-hair-he-has-said-grandma/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/my-what-red-hair-he-has-said-grandma/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Oct 2012 16:09:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dysfunctional families]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grandmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pittsburgh Steelers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tennessee Titans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23914</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I lost my grandma&#8217;s whereabouts for almost a  year.  Then my sister, Aunt Neicee, found her&#8211;but that&#8217;s a blog for another day.  So, Aunt Neicee wanted me to appease her by joining her on a road trip to visit Grandma Pearl. She planned to go the same day I have tickets for my very first ever regular season professional football game where my favoritest team of all time, the Pittsburgh Steelers, will play the Tennessee Titans in Nashville, TN in a televised Thursday night game where our seats are close enough to clearly see the now fairly compensated referees flag James Harrison for making scary faces at Titans players. Whew!  I know “favoritest” isn’t a word, but that’s how giddy the thought of this game makes me. I grew up in a family so dysfunctional we’d make the Griffins of “The Family Guy” look like the Cleavers of “Leave it to Beaver.”  The last time I saw Grandma Pearl was 1991 when The Eldest was 18-months-old. During that visit, we hugged, kissed, and pinched baby cheeks before sitting down for about an hour’s visit. We laughed and caught up on the years gone by, and then sat picking our nails [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/my-what-red-hair-he-has-said-grandma/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How Chief Money Maker Lost a Finger Because of Dust</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/how-chief-money-maker-lost-a-finger-because-of-dust/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/how-chief-money-maker-lost-a-finger-because-of-dust/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 29 Sep 2012 15:21:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counting toes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drawing in dust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dust artwork]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[losing fingers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stupid husbands]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23635</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Hey B-Bop…count Chief Money Maker’s toes.”  The four-year old child of a friend jumped on the task and began counting down Chief’s toes as they peeked out of his sandals. “…seven………….eight……………..nine???”  Then he stood there staring down at Chief’s feet.  Chief lost a middle toe due to a construction accident back in his college days. “How many is he supposed to have?” I asked. “TEN!” I love messing with kids’ minds. The next time B-Bop comes over he can count Chief’s fingers.  He lost one this morning due to an error in judgment when he signed his dining-room table dust artwork. &#160; Cheri ThackerCheri Thacker resides in Bartlett, TN and writes a weekly humor column for The Bartlett Express. The Crumb Snatcher Tales takes an offbeat look at a family one talking dog away from a sitcom. Because she has trouble staying focused, she also writes short stories, feature articles, and sports articles.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/how-chief-money-maker-lost-a-finger-because-of-dust/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>How I Saved My Marriage With Earplugs</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/how-i-saved-my-marriage-with-earplugs/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/how-i-saved-my-marriage-with-earplugs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:31:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[earplugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Here Comes Honey Boo Boo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sleep deprivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[snoring]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The clock screamed 6:15 a.m. as I tried to decide if I should use the pillow to cover my ears to drown out the sound I’d dealt with all night, or use it to permanently eliminate the source of the sound.  Chief Money Maker is thrilled—and coincidentally still alive—because I chose the first option.  Yet, the future of our marriage hangs by a delicate thread that could be sucked easily down his windpipe on his next snoring intake, along with the popcorn ceiling that I’ve wanted to scrape anyway. I did a little research on how this snoring issue could affect our relationship.  The prognosis is grim.  First, we’ll each be sleep-deprived leading to annoyed, resentful behavior such as mixing a double dose of 5 Hour Energy drink into the snorer’s dinner gravy. Then when the 10:00 p.m. news is over, you stretch with a yawn and announce you’re heading to bed.  The snorer claims to be wide awake “for some strange reason.”  You sympathetically sympathize then suggest they make quality use of the time by cleaning out the refrigerator.  Not that I’ve done this. If left unresolved, we&#8217;ll be resigned to sleeping in separate rooms resulting in a loss of intimacy [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>My Daughter Is an Extortionist!</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/my-daughter-is-an-extortionist/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/my-daughter-is-an-extortionist/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:14:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andy Taylor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barney Fife]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marijuana]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Norman Rockwell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pulp Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Starbucks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teenagers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=22876</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Mom, do you think the $18,000 price for the car is with or without the bud?” “Bud?  Who’s Bud?” “Not WHO, Mom, WHAT.  Bud…weed, grass, mary jane—“ “I get it!  I’m just trying to figure out why in the name of your great-grandmother Pearl you are asking me that!” Sweet Pea was holding open the driver-side door of a cute little 2007 Pontiac G-6 with a “For Sale” sign, parked on the well-manicured lawn of a beautiful two-story home in a small northwestern town in Tennessee.  It’s like Norman Rockwell  lived there—only he was a Yankee and he died in 1978. She giggled, pointed to a small compartment to the left of the steering wheel and said, “There’s weed in this car!”  This scene from Pulp Fiction flashed through my mind: Brett: What? Jules: What country are you from? Brett: What? What? Wh &#8211; ? Jules: &#8220;What&#8221; ain&#8217;t no country I&#8217;ve ever heard of. They speak English in What? Brett: What? Jules: English, @#$%&#38;*%, do you speak it? Brett: Yes! Yes! Jules: Then you know what I&#8217;m sayin&#8217;! Brett: Yes! Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! Brett: What? Jules: Say &#8216;what&#8217; again. Say &#8216;what&#8217; again, I dare you, I [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Whoopty-Do About Whoopty-Do</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-whoopty-do-about-whoopty-do/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-whoopty-do-about-whoopty-do/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Sep 2012 22:39:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cheri Thacker</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[controversy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crumb snatchers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teenagers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=22722</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Yo Moms!  Can you and Pops vamp so me and Snookie-Wookums can bump fuzzies in my bedroom?&#8221; I just can&#8217;t fathom one of the crumb snatchers asking me that question, but I learned that parents allowing their children to hippity dippity in their homes is a growing trend.  As a humorist with a family blog, I pondered long and hard about broaching this subject. Oh who am I kidding!?  I was ready to jump all over this topic like a 3-year-old jumps on a happy meal! I must have missed the hullabaloo when this trend made the news.  I was probably busy organizing our family’s annual Barrel of Monkeys competition, which I won for the 3rd year in a row. I want to discuss this topic now because: 1)  It deals with sex and sex sells. 2)  It’s controversial and controversy sells. And most importantly: 3)  I forget…maybe I’ll think of it by the end of this post. Under certain circumstances, I wouldn&#8217;t be opposed to the crumb snatchers bumping uglies in our abode, and I&#8217;ll discuss those now. Circumstances Under Which The Crumb Snatchers Can Dippity Do Dah In Our Home When Chief Money Maker and I are dead and gone, and one of the [...]]]></description>
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