Breaking Winds With Twisted Twisters

This week is Severe Weather Preparedness Week. Here are some useful safety tips from actual experts: https://www.in.gov/dhs/get-prepared/nature-safety/severe-weather-preparedness/    Some say the best advice you can give when it comes to tornadoes is to keep your […]

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Fifty Shades of Red SUV

 I kept a secret for half of last year, but now it’s time to let the secret escape. In September of 2016, our beloved Ford Focus fell victim to a guy trying to turn into […]

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A Toy Soldier Story

 As a kid, I had to use my imagination. No cable, no video games, no Anarchist Cookbook on the internet. If I’d tried to buy the ingredients for a bomb, the store clerk would have […]

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Stop the Snow

I hate winter. Well, only if I have to go out in it, or pay for heating the house, or if it’s winter. Otherwise I don’t mind. Anyway, parody songs are only good if you’re […]

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An After Christmas Ritual

(Bonus points if you can identify all the TV shows referenced.)              Santa Claus had this ritual, one he followed every year after he finished delivering gifts for all those little boys and girls. […]

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A Crisis Of Chocolate

Now, before you panic (like I did), keep in mind that this dire prediction has been made before. I even wrote about it in a past column. The prediction: a chocolate shortage. Okay, you can […]

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Go Ahead, Start Christmas Now

 As all fourteen of my regular readers know, I’ve always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving. By “thing” I mean seeing anything Christmas related before […]

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A Look Into My Nose, or: Probing a Patient’s Proboscis Procedure

I have this ongoing fantasy that whenever I have to recover from an illness or injury it will give me plenty of time to write, or at least read. I’m always behind on both, so […]

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Cooking Safety Begins With Me Not Cooking

            It goes without saying that the best way to maintain safety in a kitchen is to keep me out.             But I said it anyway, and as it happens, the theme of this year’s […]

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