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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; John Papageorgiou</title>
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	<link>http://humoroutcasts.com</link>
	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>I Dated a Hooker-Papa&#8217;s Basement</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-dated-a-hooker-papas-basement/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-dated-a-hooker-papas-basement/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 14:13:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33251</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[To be fair, most of the episode isn&#8217;t about the fact stated in the title. My co-hostess Allison talks about the awful things she&#8217;s made her niece and nephew done for money. (Not awful enough to necessitate you submitting this podcast to the FBI. Relax.) I also discuss a delightful weekend of food poisoning. But the episode highlight is the revelation that I did indeed go out with a woman who is now a high end escort and what I intend to do with that knowledge. Please feel free to listen to the episode and leave your own suggestions about how I should play things in the comments section. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users can subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Angelina Jolie Undergoes Double Mastectomy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/angelina-jolie-undergoes-double-mastectomy/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/angelina-jolie-undergoes-double-mastectomy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2013 15:52:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33083</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When did you stop believing in God? Was it when a loved one died? In the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting? Maybe after a complex bout of soul searching when you comprehended just how many calories are in cheesecake? I&#8217;ll tell you when I lost the faith: When I awoke this morning to the news Angelia Jolie lopped off both her tits. Angelina&#8217;s rack was one of the only sexy things left in Hollywood. A lot of people might not understand what that means, so permit me to explain: For the average guy, after a certain age, you grow out of having lustful thoughts of movie stars and instead, when getting a moment&#8217;s breather while toiling at the job you hate, you imagine sticking your dick into porn stars or the cute temp in customer service. There&#8217;s something more sexual about those prospects than an antiseptic, boring piece of movie ass which might be enough to titillate a eunuch like Billy Bush, but not an actual man. Miss Jolie was one of the only movie stars you could have a crush on and still look at yourself in the mirror. Do you forget the Tomb Raider poster? That bitch [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>The Million-Dollar Question&#8211;Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-million-dollar-question-papas-basement-radio-show/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-million-dollar-question-papas-basement-radio-show/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 15:08:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32983</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would you like a million dollars? Sure. You&#8217;d have to be insane to not want that. Now, what are you prepared to do for it? We ask in the course of this episode if you&#8217;d perform a very specific act for that million dollars&#8230;an act 18% of Americans said they would indeed perform. Want to know what that act is? Forget it. That&#8217;s how you tease content like a pro, you sonofabitch! So click to listen and find out how to make a million dollars the not-so-hard way. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users can subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Reviewing G.I. Joe: Retaliation Without Having Seen It</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-g-i-joe-retaliation-without-having-seen-it/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-g-i-joe-retaliation-without-having-seen-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:04:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31296</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Six years have gone by since the original live-action Transformers. With the passage of time, it&#8217;s becoming more and more obvious that the film is seen as a rather seminal achievement in summer popcorn cinema. And that is depressing on so many levels. Let&#8217;s be honest: The first Transformers was mediocre. Seeing our childhood toys brought to life was novel for five minutes, and we all wanted to ass-to-mouth Megan Fox in Optimus Prime&#8217;s cab, but that was it. The script was weak, the direction predictable, and the action sequences were CGI nonsense. (Do you ever ponder how stupid those things scenes look as they&#8217;re being filmed? Just retard Shia LaBeouf in the middle of a green stage talking to some guy in a motion-capture suit. It&#8217;s nonsense.) Thanks to Transformers&#8216; success, the American populace has been subjected to a slew of movies that fit the following criteria: &#8211;Based upon a children&#8217;s toy popular in the 80s. &#8211;Contain CGI action sequences featuring gigantic robots. &#8211;Use that horrible metal-on-metal noise that sounds like a sword raping an automobile during action sequences. &#8211;They objectively suck. I hate having Hollywood plunder the memories of my youth just because everyone is going broke as [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Gay Marriage</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/gay-marriage/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/gay-marriage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 18:12:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31140</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Supreme Court is hearing two cases this week that deal with the legality of same-sex marriage in the United States (an appeal of California&#8217;s Proposition 8 on Tuesday and arguments over the Defense of Marriage act Wednesday). I was alerted to this fact by half of my friends changing their Facebook profile photo to the image displayed above, making it look like the site had been taken over by the Gay Bloods. I&#8217;m an Internet loudmouth who pays a few bucks a year to have a website. That&#8217;s the extent of my qualifications to comment on the issue of gay marriage legalization. With that out of the way, here is a list of what I believe is every possible opinion regarding the Feds forcing gay marriage legality: You&#8217;re All For It&#8211;A lot of liberals fall into this category, as well as some conservatives disgusted by the perceived bigotry within their own ranks. The attitude is, &#8220;Love is love, people are people, and anyone standing in the way of that is a small-minded sack of crap.&#8221; It&#8217;s a States Rights Issue&#8211;A lot of kind-hearted conservatives fall under this one. It&#8217;s not that they hate gays: they just hate the government. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/gay-marriage/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Reviewing Spring Breakers Without Having Seen It</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-spring-breakers-without-having-seen-it/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-spring-breakers-without-having-seen-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:50:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31037</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Not to let the cat out of the bag, but I use Rotten Tomatoes aggregate rating for a movie as a guideline for how my reviews are going to go. And that&#8217;s why Spring Breakers has me somewhat confused: With a current score of 69 (haha) percent, it probably isn&#8217;t terrible. So it&#8217;s with an almost heavy heart that I have to pan it anyhow. Because Spring Breakers isn&#8217;t going to deliver what the audience wants: All four of these broads (who represent a collective 360 pounds of vagina and ribs) naked and going to town on one another. In fact, I&#8217;d settle for the two famous ones (the gals with the same skin tone as the maids that raised the white ones) naked. That&#8217;s the bare minimum to get my ticket money. And while the director does decide to give us the boobs of one Vanessa Hudgens, we&#8217;ve been there and done that already. Plus, don&#8217;t boobs have to be a certain size to count as fuul boobs? She has boos. Maybe just bos. On top of that, there&#8217;s James Franco donging up the whole Sapphic production as a K-Fed-esque wigger. (Being white, I can say that. It&#8217;s ours. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-spring-breakers-without-having-seen-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Powerful Man</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-powerful-man/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-powerful-man/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2013 03:01:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dead]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lobster]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lobster tank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[power]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30020</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m not a powerful man. The only time I&#8217;ll ever get to say &#8220;Relax, if I wanted you dead, you&#8217;d be dead by now&#8221; is to a lobster in a tank. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-powerful-man/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Reviewing A Good Day to Die Hard Without Having Seen It</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-a-good-day-to-die-hard-without-having-seen-it/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-a-good-day-to-die-hard-without-having-seen-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Feb 2013 18:33:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29549</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We all remember and love the original Die Hard, that film featuring unlikely hero Bruce Willis as policeman John McClane who, along with Carl Winslow, foiled the plot of a pack of Kraut terrorists to steal millions in bearer bonds. The movie worked for a variety of reasons, chief among them an affable performance from Willis, well-paced direction, and a plot that only insulted our intelligence mildly. A few years later, the inevitable Die Hard 2 was released, and it was okay as far as sequels go (a ringing endorsement if I&#8217;ve ever heard it). I even got a little something out of Die Hard With a Vengeance, thanks in no small part to this scene, but enough is enough. A Good Day to Die Hard is two films removed from DHWAV, and, at this point, it&#8217;s safe to say the milk&#8217;s gone bad. I&#8230;I don&#8217;t really know how to continue the review from this point. A Good Day to Die Hard was made because the studio knows it&#8217;s going to profit. Which means there are a lot of people out there who think to themselves, &#8220;I don&#8217;t care who the director is, what the premise is, who wrote the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-a-good-day-to-die-hard-without-having-seen-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Women Fap to Norman Reedus On The Walking Dead</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/women-fap-to-norman-reedus-on-the-walking-dead/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/women-fap-to-norman-reedus-on-the-walking-dead/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2013 17:54:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The sex god of our times isn&#8217;t Brad Pitt or George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio. It&#8217;s zombie guts-smeared Norman Reedus on The Walking Dead. Why? I don&#8217;t know. But we try to figure it out. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/women-fap-to-norman-reedus-on-the-walking-dead/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Reviewing Identity Thief Without Having Seen It</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-identity-thief-without-having-seen-it/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-identity-thief-without-having-seen-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:48:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29159</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Without having seen it, I can safely say that Identity Thief embodies all that is wrong in comedy. The plot is contrived. (A man whose identity is stolen goes on a cross-country trip to seek out the person who stole it. Because one responds to crimes like these by becoming a private investigator. The same way I&#8217;d go to dental school and then drill my own tooth if I had a cavity.) The setups are contrived. (What? A scene where two disparate characters listen to the radio in the car together? No way!) Even the name is contrived. (You just know some Hollywood prick thought to himself, &#8220;There are tons of Okie pissants who have had their identity stolen. I defy them to skip a movie with a name like this,&#8221; then shat out this half-hearted-handjob of a script accordingly.) Having established that the movie is contrived garbage&#8211;the logic presented in my prior paragraph is irrefutable&#8211;one might think to themselves, &#8220;Well, at least I like leads in Identity Thief, so I still might check it out.&#8221; My question to you is this: Why do you like them? I find Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman pleasant in the same way you [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/reviewing-identity-thief-without-having-seen-it/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show-Really Bad Movies</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-really-bad-movies/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-really-bad-movies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:49:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26795</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Amazing Spider-Man might be one of the most subtly bad movies in recent memory. Thankfully, I have a black belt in hating things, so it didn&#8217;t take long for me to figure out why the movie was bad and how to properly crap on it. Hear my review, as well as lots of other things from the first half of the show that I in no way, shape or form remember saying, on the latest Papa&#8217;s Basement. It&#8217;s a good one. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-really-bad-movies/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Papa&#8217;s Member Fights Hurricane Sandy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-member-fights-hurricane-sandy/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-member-fights-hurricane-sandy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:53:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25997</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[All men like to think that their junk is something special. But they&#8217;ve got nothing on the super powers that mine possesses. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-member-fights-hurricane-sandy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show-Rating The Super Hunks</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-rating-the-super-hunks/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-rating-the-super-hunks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Nov 2012 07:07:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25955</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Papa&#8217;s Basement is viewed as a show for the men, and that&#8217;s fine by me: When you&#8217;re a fountain of raw masculinity, it comes with the territory. But once in a while, I like to do a little something for the ladies. So, in this episode, I mention my nominee for the hunkiest of all super hunks. Who is it? You won&#8217;t trick me that easily, lazy reader. You&#8217;ll have to listen to find out. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-rating-the-super-hunks/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://www.inpapasbasement.com/podcasts/PB2012_11_08.mp3" length="54016337" type="audio/mpeg" />
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		<item>
		<title>Ask Papa #5-Keeping Your Money in a Divorce</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-5-keeping-your-money-in-a-divorce/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-5-keeping-your-money-in-a-divorce/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:57:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25720</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Q. Papa: My wife is awful. She makes my life a living Hell. How do I get rid of her without going to jail or giving her half my money? P.S. We have kid.&#8211;Eunuch of Undisclosed Location A. Eunuch of Undisclosed Location: I have good news and bad news. The good news is, once you&#8217;re rid of your wife, you&#8217;re going to feel a hundred times better. I realize how much it has to suck being in love, then having it turn on you like a pet chimpanzee you thought was domesitcated, but it happens in life, and you have to pick up the pieces and move on. Christ, I&#8217;m still bitter I broke up with a girl that I bought a few $5 DVDs for on Amazon. Admittedly, I&#8217;m as Jewish as a person gets while still having a foreskin, but the prospect of losing half your finances would make even the WASPiest man flinch. Since I take this column seriously, I talked to two lawyers about your situation. Sure, they were my friends, and by &#8220;talk to&#8221; I mean &#8220;asked them from the bathroom while I urinated with the door open after my eighth beer,&#8221; but they both [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Talks Nipple Rings and &#8220;Jew Camp&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-talks-nipple-rings-and-jew-camp/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-talks-nipple-rings-and-jew-camp/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:57:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25718</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[(No, not those Jew camps.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-talks-nipple-rings-and-jew-camp/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show-Which High School Clique Was Yours?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-which-high-school-clique-was-yours/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-which-high-school-clique-was-yours/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:36:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25523</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After watching all 18 episodes of Freaks and Geeks on Netflix in the span of a day (man that show was good), I got to thinking on air: Where exactly did I fit in high school clique-wise? And how about my co-hosts, Howard and Irina? If you feel like taking a walk down memory lane with me and celebrating some of the absurdities of high school and youth, click below and give this one a listen. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show-The Hurricane Sandy Show</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-the-hurricane-sandy-show/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-the-hurricane-sandy-show/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:43:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25271</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This episode actually has zero to do with Hurricane Sandy. Sorry to shatter the illusion, but I record Papa&#8217;s Basement a few days before any given episode&#8217;s release date. Back when this was recorded on Thursday, no one knew about the massive storm that seems poised to send the entire East Coast tumbling down to Atlantis. Funny how the news works like that. The episode is actually about quite a few things, as they tend to be. Like how my co-hostess&#8217; Irina&#8216;s hair looks like that of Sarah Connor in the original Termiantor film. And how Adele&#8217;s theme for the upcoming Bond film Skyfall should have a different title to reflect her weight (I&#8217;m clever like that). So download and listen to the newest episode of Papa&#8217;s Basement. As your life&#8217;s light wanes with each inch of floodwater, whose voice would you rather hear heralding you into the hereafter than mine? That&#8217;s what I thought. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ask Papa #4-Making Decisions for an Elderly Parent</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-4-making-decisions-for-an-elderly-parent/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-4-making-decisions-for-an-elderly-parent/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Oct 2012 04:51:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25027</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Q. Papa: My mother is getting on in years, and I&#8217;ve recently had to begin advising her in life because, at this point, I know as much if not more so than her about how the world works. She hates this, and ignores me because, to her, I&#8217;m nothing more than her child. How can I get her to start heeding some of my suggestions without bruising her ego?&#8211;Old Mom Owner in Omaha A. Old Mom Owner in Omaha: You mentioned bruising her ego, but not bruising her flesh. Five across the eyes with an accompanying bellow of &#8220;There&#8217;s plenty more where that came from, you wrinkly old bitchprune!&#8221; should be enough to change her outlook. In all seriousness, &#8220;having to call the plays because your parent is nearing the end zone&#8221; as Hank Hill once said has to suck for both parties. As the kid, seeing what was once the pillar of your universe&#8217;s stability go the way of all flesh provokes all sorts of existential questions. (I&#8217;m kept up at night worried that, when I can no longer wipe myself, no one is going to apply the same loving technique to my backside that I do.) As the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ask Papa #3-Dumping a Guy Due to His Small Penis</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-3-dumping-a-guy-due-to-his-small-penis/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-3-dumping-a-guy-due-to-his-small-penis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2012 13:46:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24848</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Q. Papa: I was dating a really nice guy. In fact, things were perfect in the relationship until we decided to have sex. His pants came off and that&#8217;s when my heart broke. While erect, he was smaller than my ring finger. Worse, once inside me, he lasted under 90 seconds. I&#8217;ve had tampon applications that brought me more sexual satisfaction. Now he won&#8217;t stop calling and texting me, even though I&#8217;ve told him repeatedly that I no longer think things are working out. Am I a horrible person for feeling this way? And is there a nice way to tell a guy his dick is too small and I don&#8217;t want to talk to him anymore?&#8211;Frowning Vagina in Fresno. A. Frowning Vagina in Fresno: Your question is actually two questions, so screw you for making me exert twice the effort. That said, you&#8217;ve allowed me to write about both penis size and relationships, both of which are web traffic gold, so here are my begrudging thanks. In reply to your first question, &#8220;Am I horrible for feeling this way?&#8221; the short answer is &#8220;no.&#8221; You were dating someone. Since I&#8217;m going to play the odds and assume you aren&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Radio Show-Thick Versus Fat</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-thick-versus-fat/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-thick-versus-fat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:07:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24683</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s come to my attention recently that a few of my friends (this may be one of them) are into fat chicks. Not thick, but fat. Which is weird to me, because they&#8217;re not fat. Quite the contrary, in fact. I get banging fatties if you&#8217;re fat and don&#8217;t care to swing for the fences, but when you yourself are in shape, the behavior is inexcusable. It makes as much sense as telling me you have five million dollars in the bank moments before digging a half-eaten sandwich out of a trash can and shoving it in your mouth. Will and I define what makes a woman thick versus what makes a woman fat and try to determine why a man would try and sleep with the latter. Click below to listen and feel better about yourself. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) Get more content from Papa&#8217;s Basement at inpapasbasement.com. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Papa’s Basement Radio Show-The Hulk Hogan Sex Tape</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-the-hulk-hogan-sex-tape/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-radio-show-the-hulk-hogan-sex-tape/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:26:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24482</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We discuss the Holocaust-on-film that is the Hulk Hogan sex tape. I mean, we mention other things, too. There&#8217;s only so much you can say about a guy with a skullet banging his friend&#8217;s wife. What else do we discuss, you may ask? To which I&#8217;ll reply, &#8220;I&#8217;m not a damn court stenographer. Click the link below and listen to the episode and find out. Lazy turd.&#8221; Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.) Get more content from Papa&#8217;s Basement at inpapasbasement.com. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ask Papa #2-What Does Owning the White iPhone 5 Say About You?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-2-what-does-owning-the-white-iphone-5-say-about-you/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-2-what-does-owning-the-white-iphone-5-say-about-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2012 04:31:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24397</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Q. Papa: My brother ordered a white iPhone 5. Does this mean he has turned gay? And, if so, do I have a greater chance (due to the gay genes) of turning gay too?&#8211;Curious (not bi-curious) in Camden A. Dear Curious in Camden: At first, I was going to laugh this off as a stupid question and not reply. Then I realized that: 1. I only had three people send in &#8220;Ask Papa&#8221; questions and I can&#8217;t afford to laugh off porno spam emails at this point and 2. Three days before you sent this question in, I placed an order for a white iPhone 5. That made me worry. Is owning a white iPhone 5 some sort of signal to the homosexual community that you are a cruising member of its ranks? Is it the smartphone equivalent of a pierced right ear? Because I dumped my chick in August and haven&#8217;t glazed a donut since. The last thing I need is the color of my iPhone telling the women of the world to steer clear because I&#8217;m looking to have the device set to vibrate, crammed in my ass and put on some leather boy&#8216;s speed dial. I just [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Ask Papa #1-How Do I Kick My Son Out of the House?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-1-how-do-i-kick-my-son-out-of-the-house/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/ask-papa-1-how-do-i-kick-my-son-out-of-the-house/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Oct 2012 23:39:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24136</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome to the inaugural installment of my advice column, Ask Papa. &#8220;Where do you get the balls to write an advice column when your own life is an unmitigated disaster,&#8221; you might ask if you are my mother or an ex-girlfriend. Well, just because my existence thus far has been an ode to underachievement, it doesn&#8217;t mean I haven&#8217;t picked up a few bits of applicable knowledge here and there. Besides, who doesn&#8217;t like telling people how to live their lives? It&#8217;s so much easier than straightening out your own. Without further ado, I present Ask Papa. Q. Papa: My 21-year-old son still lives at home. He&#8217;s going to community college, where he majors in computer design, and he makes a decent amount of money selling his work via the Internet. He isn&#8217;t rich by any means, but he has enough to go out to dinner quite often and afford a Taurus SHO. How do I get him unlatched from the teat he&#8217;s been suckling for 21 years and out of the house?&#8211;Sore Nipples in Saskatoon A. Dear Sore Nipples: I hope you don&#8217;t mind me saying you&#8217;re from Saskatoon for the sake of alliteration, because it&#8217;s apparently an essential [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Papa&#8217;s Basement Talks Sex and Striking Out</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-talks-sex-and-striking-out/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/papas-basement-talks-sex-and-striking-out/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:10:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=20391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Get more content from Papa&#8217;s Basement at inpapasbasement.com. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Weird Kid in School and the Perks of Sex With Paula Deen</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-weird-kid-in-school-and-the-perks-of-sex-with-paula-deen/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-weird-kid-in-school-and-the-perks-of-sex-with-paula-deen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Jun 2012 03:25:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=19492</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Get more content from Papa&#8217;s Basement at inpapasbasement.com. John PapageorgiouJust a humble comedy genius with a 10 inch cock.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
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