Blog Archives

The Walking Death of Logic

April 25, 2016
By

I peppered him with questions about the dead. Logical questions, I thought, as I teased my lips with a too-hot pumpkin latte. I was friend-chatting and we were talking the hit show The Walking Dead.…

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Bernie Phone Home

April 16, 2016
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Is Bernie Sanders human? Or E.T.? Or, did Bernie Sanders have a bastard son with a turtle? Very important questions, considering he’s running for the highest office in the land.     PFHardieI am a…

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Trojan Sandwich

April 12, 2016
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Today, April 12, 2016, is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day. To some, like me and your average man, it’s also called I Wish I Knew How to Make Something Else Day. Or, Can I Reduce…

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Game of Thrones: Help Wanted

April 11, 2016
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As I watch more Game of Thrones, I wonder what kind of job I would want in that world. I mean, if King of the Iron Throne was already taken. Running the whore house would…

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Putin on a Tantrum

April 5, 2016
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The Kremlin, aka Vladimir Putin, reacted harshly to accusations regarding Russian officials hiding billions of dollars in secret Panamanian bank accounts. After carefully constructing their response, the Russians issued a statement on CNN, calling the…

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Thoughts on Reading

April 1, 2016
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Jesus this book is long. Should I just wait for the movie? Of course, they screwed up Beverly Hills Chihuahua, so you never know. Why isn’t anyone humping in this book? I’m sleepy. Is it…

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President Winchester

March 29, 2016
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The GOP elites have finally agreed on who will replace the highly unpopular Donald Trump as their impending leader. Obviously, they want a true conservative. A person who yearns for all Americans to own and…

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He’s the reasonable one?

March 28, 2016
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If I were to vote Republican in the U.S. election – which is to say, if I were to cut my eyelids off and serve them on crackers dabbed with couscous butter, to good friends,…

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This is why Trump will be President

March 18, 2016
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I took an informal poll of professional comedians in the United States. By “informal” I mean I sent them a questionnaire and they all ignored it. The results were startling. Every single one of them…

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Boots on the Ground

March 14, 2016
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If you’re anything like me, you enjoy the “seariously” cowy taste of Trump steak and the liquidy wetness of Trump water. His steaks are so beautifully marbled, I had my kitchen counters made out of…

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