Blog Archives

Boots on the Ground

March 14, 2016
By

If you’re anything like me, you enjoy the “seariously” cowy taste of Trump steak and the liquidy wetness of Trump water. His steaks are so beautifully marbled, I had my kitchen counters made out of…

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Torture that Works

March 4, 2016
By

The spectre of water boarding has raised its ugly head again. Donald Trump has a no-holds-barred view on water boarding the terrorists. Unfortunately, it might be against International Law and isn’t a great conversation starter at…

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He’s a Face-painter

March 1, 2016
By

Ah, I get it now. He’s a face-painter. Nuttin wrong wit dat.   PFHardieI am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and piano teacher. And that's only during the day. At night I fight crime…

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The Upside of Trump

February 29, 2016
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I see a very strong upside to Mr. Trump as POTUS. (If you disagree with this bold statement, please address all death threats to my twin brother living on the Canary Islands.) The fundamental reason…

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Your dentist is lying to you

February 23, 2016
By

Why do you lie to me, Mrs. Dentist? Even my credit card questions the huge amount I pay you, and still, you lie. Visa: Wow, you sure that total is correct? Me: Totally! Your dental…

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Welcome to bed, Mr. Hemsworth

February 21, 2016
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Welcome to bed, Mr. Hemsworth

I finally remembered to return my memory foam mattress the other day. It was getting old. I think it developed Alzheimer’s disease. It forgot who I was. It kept calling me Chris Hemsworth. I definitely…

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You Know the Drill

February 21, 2016
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I was captured by ISIS yesterday and tortured. Wait a minute. No. I was at the dentist. Always get those two situations confused. Had two teeth refilled. I asked for my entire head to be…

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Tryth to Power

February 19, 2016
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Oh, politicians and the pithy things they say. Here is Hillary Clinton in a recent interview: Interviewer: Have you always told the truth? Clinton: I’ve always tried to (wide-eyed). Hmmm. How does one try to…

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Brokn

February 17, 2016
By

Everything is brokn. Even the word “brokn” in this article is brokn. We’re told this all the time, like a brokn record. Here’s a list of all the things brokn in this world. • everything…

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Unknown Knowns

February 12, 2016
By

As my brain gets older, I’m moving from the aphorism “if only I knew then what I know now” to “if only I could remember now what I knew then.” But I still look good. See?…

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