Blog Archives

The Upside of Trump

February 29, 2016
By

I see a very strong upside to Mr. Trump as POTUS. (If you disagree with this bold statement, please address all death threats to my twin brother living on the Canary Islands.) The fundamental reason…

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Your dentist is lying to you

February 23, 2016
By

Why do you lie to me, Mrs. Dentist? Even my credit card questions the huge amount I pay you, and still, you lie. Visa: Wow, you sure that total is correct? Me: Totally! Your dental…

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Welcome to bed, Mr. Hemsworth

February 21, 2016
By
Welcome to bed, Mr. Hemsworth

I finally remembered to return my memory foam mattress the other day. It was getting old. I think it developed Alzheimer’s disease. It forgot who I was. It kept calling me Chris Hemsworth. I definitely…

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You Know the Drill

February 21, 2016
By

I was captured by ISIS yesterday and tortured. Wait a minute. No. I was at the dentist. Always get those two situations confused. Had two teeth refilled. I asked for my entire head to be…

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Tryth to Power

February 19, 2016
By

Oh, politicians and the pithy things they say. Here is Hillary Clinton in a recent interview: Interviewer: Have you always told the truth? Clinton: I’ve always tried to (wide-eyed). Hmmm. How does one try to…

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Brokn

February 17, 2016
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Everything is brokn. Even the word “brokn” in this article is brokn. We’re told this all the time, like a brokn record. Here’s a list of all the things brokn in this world. • everything…

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Unknown Knowns

February 12, 2016
By

As my brain gets older, I’m moving from the aphorism “if only I knew then what I know now” to “if only I could remember now what I knew then.” But I still look good. See?…

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Why all this fuss about some smart scientists discovering gravitational waves, confirming Einstein’s theory? I found gravitational waves around my waist years ago, when I turned 40. PFHardieI am a graphic designer, humour writer, musician and…

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Not My Type

February 8, 2016
By

As many of my friends know, my single, dating life (many moons ago) was abysmal. I had less chance of success than the ISIS barber shop down the street “taking a little off the top,…

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Please don’t kill me, youths in Asia

January 27, 2016
By

Why do youths in Asia want to kill me? I hear all this talk in Canada about Youth-in-Asia and how, when I’m ready to die, they can help me “succeed”. I’m sorry, but I’ll die…

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