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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; Stan Silliman</title>
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	<link>http://humoroutcasts.com</link>
	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>Sports Not to Play on Mother&#8217;s Day</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/sports-not-to-play-on-mothers-day/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/sports-not-to-play-on-mothers-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2013 21:23:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manatees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NASCAR]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Volleyball]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33089</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SPORTS NOT TO PLAY ON MOTHER’S DAY  Ann Curry gets fired but Seth Curry graduates and Stephen Curry gets hot enough to bring the Warriors a victory so you could say Sonya Curry had a nice Mother’s Day. We hope everyone else did, too. We’re certain all our readers are sweet to their mothers.  This is why we’ve compiled a list of sports you shouldn’t play on Mother’s Day.  I’m sure your mother will thank us. STROLLER RACING – We know how much you like loading up a six-pack, heading to a hilly park then jumping in the baby stroller and taking on all comers for a downhill race. We know a lot of you even like dressing up in diapers for the race.  We’re not against the race or the sport but just not on Mother’s Day. SHOOTING BAMBI’S MOM  – Fortunately, for moms in the States, including Bambi’s, deer hunting season rarely falls on Mother’s Day.  However, in far north Canada, Argentina and other far-flung spots, it does.  In those places, with hunts going for like $ 10K for a trophy buck (less for Bambi’s Mom), wouldn’t it be better to just take your mom for a nice dinner? [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Kayak Karacters</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kayak-karacters/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/kayak-karacters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 May 2013 03:37:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ed Gillet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freya Hoffmeister]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Russell Crowe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Salma Hayek]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tao Berman]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32938</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman KAYAK KARACTERS  The three day search for two missing canoeists on the Chippawa River in Wisconsin stopped yesterday. Why, you ask? Because the two canoeists never existed, that’s why. They were a product of a kayaker’s imagination. Again, Andrew Wallace, a kayaker, told police he fell into the river trying to save two men clinging to their canoe. An expensive air, land and sea search ensued for the men on the word of a KAYAKER! Am I being harsh? Should we imply all kayakers exaggerate or that all kayakers are karazy? Let’s see? Squeeze your body into a wetsuit and then drop into a tiny little boat? Check. Put that tiny boat in very cold water? Check. Make the boat shark shaped just in case you might be floating in shark-filled waters? Again, check. Flip the boat over and paddle under water? Check. Scouting for water every time you drive over a bridge? Check. After your car wrecks, the first thing you check is to see if the boat is alright? Double check.  Sex games involve tying up your squeeze with a taught-line? Check. Humming Weather Channel tunes? Oh, geez. Thinks driving a kayak [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Skeered at the Skirvin</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/skeered-at-the-skirvin/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/skeered-at-the-skirvin/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 May 2013 22:32:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eddy Curry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[effie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nate Robinson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York Knicks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oklahoma City Thunder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Perle Mesta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Skirvin Hotel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32928</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hannah Storm&#8217;s Russell Westbrook interview mentioned the haunted Skirvin Hotel of Oklahoma. Here&#8217;s a true story where the ghost chased some New York Knicks: Skeered At The Skirvin     The New York Knicks traveled west to be beaten by the Oklahoma City Thunder Monday, January 11 by a score of 106 to 88. Blamed for the loss:  Effie the Ghost. Effie, for those not up on their “ghostology” is the apparition haunting the Skirvin Hotel, where the Knicks stayed for two nights. Effie is not new news.  After all, Perle Mesta once referred to Effie as the “Ghostess with the mostest”. Mrs. Mesta should know as she was the daughter the oil baron/hotel baron, W.B. Skirvin, himself. Ever since jumping to her death in 1931 from the 10th Floor, Effie has been haunting the upper floors of the Skirvin Hotel. Like we said, Effie is not news. The news is a pair of Knicks players claiming Effie disturbed their sleep the night before the game.  One of the players making this claim is Eddy Curry, who, at 6’ 11”and  300 lbs,  is one of the larger human beings on this planet.  Effie the Ghost was (is?) a mere 4’ 10” [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Potato Catcher Ditties</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/potato-catcher-ditties/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/potato-catcher-ditties/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 May 2013 23:03:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dave Bresnahan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Williamsport PA]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32653</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman POTATO CATCHER DITTIES  Potato catcha’ A big Boise welcome, you betcha Sign my tater Give me your sig, I’d letcha “Nothing in the rule book says I can’t throw a potato to third base!” Yes, absolutely true but not necessarily kosher in baseball. Exactly why we’re honoring Dave Bresnahan with a few Silliman songs and rhymes because what would the world be if a potato-carving catcher couldn’t carve a baseball spud worthy of fooling a minor league umpire? Indeed! “There’s nothing in the rule book…” was not exactly what a minor-league umpire calling a game in Williamsport, PA on the last day of August in 1987 wanted to hear after Bresnahan tossed a potato at a base runner, wildly. The play finished with the base runner scampering home only to be tagged out by Dave who still had the real baseball in his glove. Okay, safe, not out when the ump realized the object thrown wide of third was more vegetable than animal. Bresnahan!! He carves tater balls like no one else can Bresnahan!! You wanna fool an ump, well he’s your man! Bresnahan!! Favorite veggie catcher, not an also ran Bresnahan!! Now a [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Fake Jimmy Haslam Twitter Writer Busy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fake-jimmy-haslam-twitter-writer-busy/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fake-jimmy-haslam-twitter-writer-busy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 May 2013 22:41:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barkevious Mingo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brandon Weeden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chip Kelly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cleveland Browns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Colt McCoy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jimmy Haslam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jimmy Shurmur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Holmgren]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pilot Flying J]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32579</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman FAKE JIMMY HASLAM TWITTER WRITER BUSY THESE DAYS Apr 19: “Being arrested would alienate me from NFL owners, but would give me something in common with NFL players.” That’s the latest tweet from the Fake Jimmy Haslam twitter account. I’ve been following it for a few weeks and it’s hilarious. I don’t know who writes it but with the FBI busting into the Flying J Travel Stop Knoxville headquarters and commandeering their computers, this guy or gal has plenty to work with. For those unfamiliar, Jimmy Haslam is, or was (may have stepped down) the billionaire chairman of Pilot Flying J, the largest travel and truck stop business in the country plus he recently bought the Cleveland Browns.  The FBI claims that Flying J has been scamming their trucking customers by shorting the national fuel agreed discounts. Some truckers were purchasing millions of dollars of gas per month. Apr 16: “I’m real excited for the draft. Go Browns! Also, anyone have a large industrial-strength paper shredder I can borrow? And a good lawyer?” Apr 16: “If anyone needs me I’ll be in Mexico living under the name Senor Reggie Hodges.” I don’t totally get [...]]]></description>
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		<title>&#8220;A&#8221; For the Week</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-for-the-week/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/a-for-the-week/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Apr 2013 22:57:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Calipari]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kobe Bryant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lakers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Louisville Cardinals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Master's Golf]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rick Pitino]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sam Kinison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tiger Woods]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31884</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman &#8220;A&#8221; FOR THE WEEK This past week gets an “A.” A Scarlet Letter “A” that is, as three known, admitted adulterers topped the sports news, with two getting an immediate comeuppance and a third with his punishment yet to be. Of course we’re discussing Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and Rick Pitino, who all made big news this week. Let’s start with the big rock buyer, possible rapist, playing the best basketball of his career, especially considering his age, Kobe Bryant. Some will argue the “best basketball” statement but I say considering how well he was facilitating, assisting as well as scoring, it could have been. One thing we know for sure, Kobe was doing everything possible to get his team into the playoffs and if that meant not being a ball hog, Kobe accepted the role. Right up to the point where he ripped his Achilles Now, there’s where God gets you. He lets you think you’re doing really good, becoming a great teammate, being unselfish, and right when you think all your efforts are paying off and this sharing of the ball is serving a purpose and you feel good about yourself, that’s [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Your Burning Master&#8217;s Questions&#8230; in Rhyme</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/your-burning-masters-questions-in-rhyme/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/your-burning-masters-questions-in-rhyme/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2013 18:12:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Angel Cabrera]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bubba Watson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Condi Rice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dufnering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freddie Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jason Dufner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Justin Rose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larry Mize]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lindsey Vonn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phil Mickelson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rory McIIroy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sandy Lyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tiger Woods]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31588</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman SILLIMAN ANSWERS YOUR BURNING MASTERS QUESTIONS You golf fans have many Master’s questions and we at Silliman on Sports appreciate that you asked in rhyming form. That inspires me. We’ll do our best to answer in rhyme. Q: Now that Tiger’s found love, will a Master’s victory fit like a glove? A: You’re speaking of his new squeeze, Lindsey Vonn.  Tiger is saying “Let’s get it on!” Q: In getting Master’s tickets, will it annoy my spouse if I mortgage the house? A: No, that wouldn’t be wrong, especially if you brought your husband along. Q: If betting on a winner, will I enjoy going with a Rory named Mcllroy? A: Well, he was # 1, so it’s not a bad story especially with NIKE betting heavy on young Mr. Rory. Q: Can Phil win, when the fact is he plays better when not ranting about his taxes? A: Tax burdened Mickelson has a new driver which Lefty hopes will make him a winner. If so he’ll owe the tax man a nice lobster dinner. Q: Can Bubba repeat, with a victory quite neat and if so, wouldn’t it be sweet? A: Sweet indeed, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Lindsey and Lindsay, a Comparison</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/lindsey-and-lindsay-a-comparison/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/lindsey-and-lindsay-a-comparison/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:50:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Movies & TV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA["Anger Management"]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Rodriquez]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Basic Instinct]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charlie Sheen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elizabeth Taylor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lindsay Lohan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lindsey Vonn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marilyn Monroe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oscar Levant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sharon Stone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tiger Woods]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31306</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports by Stan Silliman LINDSEY AND LINDSAY, A COMPARISON   Lindsey and Lindsay, Vonn and Lohan: Both are in the news but one has a career going downhill and the other… oh, wait. The skier, Lindsey Vonn, has been linked to golfer Tiger Woods (did you see what we did there… linked)  and is, arguably, the best skier of our decade. The actress/model, Lindsay Lohan, is the thespian most likely to get Oscars. No, wait… we meant Oscar Levants, awards given to the drunkest actor or actress. This is what you have to look forward to, folks, a bunch of skiing and D.U.I. jokes. We can talk about the time Lindsey Vonn took a bad fall and sprawled at the bottom of the mountain. Or we can refer to the pictures taken two days ago with Lohan sprawled under the table of a Sao Paolo nightclub. Actually, Lindsay’s camp said the picture was taken while she was trying to hide from paparazzi. Yeah, sure, from an actress with the nickname, LiLo.   While in Sao Paolo, she confessed to her sister to sleeping with a Brazilian. Her sister then replied, “That’s slutty. How many is a brazilian?” Should we [...]]]></description>
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		<title>FGCU Eagles: Shock of the Tourney</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fgcu-eagles-shock-of-the-tourney/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fgcu-eagles-shock-of-the-tourney/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 21:02:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andy Enfield]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FGCU]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Georgetown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Thompson III]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NCAA Basketball]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=31155</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman COACH ENFIELD AND THE EAGLES: SHOCK OF THE TOURNEY? Did you hear the one where the small school with their coach making $ 157K a year whipped a powerhouse with a name brand coach knocking down two million a year.  Don’t ask me to do the math, it’s just as shocking when you compare ages of the two schools; one, Florida Gulf Coast University, is a teenager -16 &#8211; while the other, Georgetown, at 224 years, is our oldest Catholic University. You’re saying it’s about time the teenagers took it to the priests. That’s what you love about the NCAA Tourney, the surprises. In this case it wasn’t just that the Eagles beat the Hoyas, it was how they did it. The Eagles flew around the gym and the Hoyas looked as ground bound as ummm… bulldogs. I know it’s a mascot comparison but it couldn’t be more apt. The Eagles were scoring on rebound dunks and alley oops stunning the Hoyas. And get this, the Eagles were doing it with white guys (somewhere, ironically and deliciously, Wesley Snipes’ prison trousers are burning) and doing it against the school that produced Allen Iverson, Jeff [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Rodman: Ping Pong vs Basketball Diplomacy</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/rodman-ping-pong-vs-basketball-diplomacy/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/rodman-ping-pong-vs-basketball-diplomacy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Mar 2013 21:40:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chairman Mao]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dennis Rodman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Glenn Cowan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kim Jung Un]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[North Korea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Richard Nixon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30952</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PING PONG vs BASKETBALL DIPLOMACY Dennis Rodman in North Korea, weirdest thing we’ve seen this year. We didn’t get all the pictures. We don’t know if he wore his calico dress or his formal nipple rings to the state dinner, we can only imagine. We do know this, a few days after Rodman left town, Rodman’s good friend and Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, announced that if necessary, North Korea might need to launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike on America.  Did Dennis scare them that much? Do all North Koreans now think he is what all Americans look like? Don’t call me Pollyanna, but perhaps Rodman’s visit could lead to a thawing, maybe a sort of basketball diplomacy, an updated version of the 1971 China-U.S. “ping-pong diplomacy.” You don’t remember it, only 42 years ago, how ping-pong opened up relations between two hated enemies, the U.S. and China? Did you think Wal-Mart always had Chinese trinkets on their shelves? You’d be wrong, Mr. Wrongperson. You can thank Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon for all those goods you find at Wal-Mart.  Let me re-wind for you. In 1971, China had the bomb and over two million more soldiers than we did. [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Harbaugh vs Harbaugh &#8211; Like Almost Again</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/harbraugh-vs-harbraugh-like-almost-again/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/harbraugh-vs-harbraugh-like-almost-again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:49:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[49ers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Smith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Baltimore Ravens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jack Harbraugh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jim Harbaugh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Harbraugh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Heisman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rex Ryan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rob Ryan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Superbowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Superbro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Urban Meyer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Woody Hayes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28275</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a story I wrote in January of 2012. You guys remember 2012 don&#8217;t you, the year we were all to perish? I don&#8217;t know about you but I took my &#8220;walk like a zombie&#8221; self-protection lessons. Now I can&#8217;t walk NOT like a zombie. But here&#8217;s my reason for rerunning this story: all those Harbaugh puns, I trademarked them back in January 2012!! So if you&#8217;re thinking of using Superbro or Super Baugh prepare for a C &#38; D letter from Silliman&#8217;s super rep. If you doubt, go to our January 2012 website. HARBAUGH V HARBAUGH: THE SUPERBRO The chances are good of it happening and I’ve already named it – Superbro – patent pending. This could be the ultimate football event in brother-dom if the 49ers and the Ravens meet in the Super Bowl in Indy. I’m pulling for it and the possible promotables are endless. Think about it, two brothers who grew up one year apart, shared a room, fought over nerf basketball, tutored by a well-traveled, all-knowing coach, Jack Harbaugh, and were perhaps the best players to ever become coaches from that incubator of successful coaches, Northern Ohio. Okay, let’s drop the perhaps. I’ll say it. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>If Maya Angelou Poeticized Blake Griffin&#8217;s MLK Outburst (Last Year)</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/if-maya-angelou-poeticized-blake-griffins-mlk-outburst-last-year/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/if-maya-angelou-poeticized-blake-griffins-mlk-outburst-last-year/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:35:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blake Griffin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Danny Granger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Indiana Pacers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LA Clippers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maya Angelou]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tyler Hansbrough]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is from last year&#8217;s MLK Day Clipper-Pacer game. Fond memories if you&#8217;re a Griffin fan. If Maya Angelou Poeticized Griffin&#8217;s 47 Point MLK Day Outburst What would MLK Day be without a Maya Angelou poem? Can you imagine? Neither can we, so we tried finding her to see if she would set Blake Griffin&#8217;s 47 points of Pacer punishment to poetry. We couldn&#8217;t locate her, leaving us to replicate what we think she might produce. Actually we don&#8217;t even know if she&#8217;s a Clippers fan. We&#8217;re hoping when she sees his video she&#8217;ll get on the Blakewagon. Still Blake Rises You may write him down in history The young man with saucer eyes You may try your best to hold him down But still, like Zeus, he&#8217;ll rise. Does his zest-for-game upset you? The excitement in his eyes? For his legs they bounce like piston rods Earth-bounding him&#8230;not wise. The Pacers tried to curb his spirit Try Granger on, for size &#8220;Dunk-you-very-much&#8221; the Griff replied Hurried, for he will rise. &#8220;We&#8217;ll give him room&#8221; the Pacers thought For want not be posterized &#8220;No problems there,&#8221; the Blake declared &#8220;Just watch my scoring rise.&#8221; Fade aways, fade aways The nets, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>MANTI TE&#8217;O IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND LOVE SONGS</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/manti-teo-imaginary-girlfriend-love-songs/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/manti-teo-imaginary-girlfriend-love-songs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:42:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Atlanta Rhythm Section]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doris Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lennay Kekua]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manti Te'o]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mr. Pibb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Notre Dame Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Perry Como]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Monkees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Zombies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=28169</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman MANTI TE’O IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND LOVE SONGS Let me just say I don’t blame Manti. Anyone can have imaginary girlfriends. Even one of my good comedian friends has a thing for Samantha Pibb, the hotter than hot wife of the soda pop guy. I know, if you’re having an affair with a fictional guy’s wife she might as well be worth it. So if a Heisman candidate has a very pretty imaginary girlfriend we expect this might evoke a song or two. And if a particular Samoan-Hawaiian footballer has a great air ukulele, right now is the ideal time to whip it out. You might be asking with what type of songs do you serenade an imaginary girlfriend, especially one named Lennay Kekua? Good question. “She’s Not There” by the Zombies?  There’s a song about an IGF sung by IMAGINARY creatures. We don’t even need to change the lyrics all that much: “Well let me tell you ‘bout the way she looked; The way she’d act and the color of her hair; Her voice was soft and cool; I know I seem a fool BUT… she’s not there.” Do we dare recall the Monkees with [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Cowboys-Stars Twitter War&#8230; Wahhhh</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/cowboys-stars-twitter-war-wahhhh/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/cowboys-stars-twitter-war-wahhhh/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Jan 2013 00:09:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dallas Cowboys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dallas Mavericks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dallas owboys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dallas Stars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FC Dallas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Josh Ellis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Modano]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MLS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NBA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NFL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Soccer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stanley Cup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas Rangers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tony Romo]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27801</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman COWBOYS-STARS SAD TWITTER WAR &#160; When teams from opposing sports tweet, it’s not always sweet. Especially when the two teams are bad, it can be downright sad. We’re talking Dallas Cowboys and Stars, apparently no holds barred. Let’s look in, shall we? Josh Ellis of DallasCowboys.com started it by announcing that baseball was approaching with this tweet: “Just six weeks until pitchers and catchers, everybody.” Unfortunately a retweet on their site came back with “Similarly, in the category of nobody-cares… the NHL is back.” Yeah, these two tweets were quickly removed from DallasCowboys.com site but the stuff had already hit the fan with not only one sport but two being slammed, hockey and baseball. Hockey, the Stars, fired back with their own tweet “At least our #9 got the job done” followed by a picture of Mike Modano (No. 9) holding up the Stanley Cup from the 1999 playoffs. So you see what happened there? The Cowboys, with only one playoff victory in 16 years, tweets that nobody cares about hockey (or baseball, for that matter), hockey responds by reminding us that they won a championship 14 YEARS AGO!! I don’t what’s sadder, a [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Jolly Colin Kaepernick Holiday Songs</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/jolly-colin-kaepernick-holiday-songs/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/jolly-colin-kaepernick-holiday-songs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Dec 2012 21:18:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Smith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Candlestick Park]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Colin Kaepernick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jingle bells]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SF 49ers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Winter Wonderland]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26517</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman JOLLY COLIN KAEPERNICK HOLIDAY SONGS (By the Fire… tune of “Winter Wonderland) 49ers by the fire A new quarterback… is their desire Alex Smith is okay But if he went away To some, it’d be a specially good day. Colin Kaepernick, they want to be their quebee Yes, he’s a rook, but plays unlike a newbee He’s got a new trick He passes very quick In fact, he makes opponents look quite sick. Of all the rookies in the NFL The quarterbacks in all have done quite well But Colin Kaepernick Has looked very slick Playing for the boys at Candlestick. (“Kaepernick” tune of “Jingle Bells”) Oh, Kaepernick, Kaepernick Colin all the way Oh, what fun it is to write ‘Bout a contr’versy of today Kaepernick, Kaepernick Slingin’ all the way Oh, what fun it is to write Quite the argument I must say (tune of “Do You Hear What I Hear?”) Do you hear what I hear? Said the linebacker to the corner back Moving to the nickel, corner back Do you see what I see? A quarterback, running with the ball And he’s heading right for the goal And he’s heading right [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Zombie Lincoln, a Good Sport</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/zombie-lincoln-a-good-sport/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/zombie-lincoln-a-good-sport/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Nov 2012 22:53:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abe Lincoln]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Basketball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lincoln Nebraska]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nebraska Cornhuskers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Zombie Apocolypse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26012</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman ZOMBIE LINCOLN, A GOOD SPORT On February 12th, 2013, guess what I did? Yeah, you’re right, I went to Springfield, Illinois with a bunch of reporters to interview the great man on his birthday – Zombie Lincoln – and it might have been the single best reporter moment in my life. I went there to ask what he thought about sports, something I’m sure he’d not even considered. Okay, I’ll back up a bit. You know the December 22nd, 2012, Mayan predicted zombie apocalypse day? We’ll yes and no. Yes, the earth got shook up a bit, zombies started rising but, no, they didn’t want to eat us. We had enough pig and cow brains to go around. Turns out they just wanted to see what had transpired since they’ve been away. They were curious old codgers, some way too tired from digging themselves up to even chase us. When we started showing them color television and IPhones, it about blew their minds, what they had left of them. Lincoln was being brought up to date and even offered to give advice to Obama. Although we hear Lincoln was shocked to find our first [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The Border War, Really (2016)</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-border-war-really-2016/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/the-border-war-really-2016/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Nov 2012 18:13:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bevo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bullfighting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cotton Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dallas Cowboys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[El Arena Algodon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Johnny Manziel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oklahoma Sooners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oklahoma State Cowboys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas A & M]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas Longhorns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas Secession]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25935</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports by Stan Silliman 2016 BORDER WAR, REALLY Oct. 15, 2016 Albert, I can’t tell you how excited I am to once again have the opportunity to watch the Oklahoma Sooners play their old longtime rival, the Texas Longhorns.  My friend, Dave, and I plan to be at their first game since October, 2012 just prior to the 2013 Texas secession from the Union.  Of all the states flapping their lips about leaving the United States, only Texas went through with it and it wasn’t without a lot of hard feelings, a fair amount of gunshot and a complete upheaval of the sports world as we knew it.  The Dear Wife doesn’t plan to go saying she’s a little scared from all the unrest that transpired since the split. I tell her that despite what she’s heard, the state she was born in is not the third world country some make it out to be. I told her “The Ten Gallon Rebellion” and the “Taco Revolt” was like so 2014. This game will again be played in Dallas, at El Arena Algodon as all the previous games were, but this time the logistics of getting to the game [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>&#8220;Johnny Football&#8221; Trademarked</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/johnny-football-trademarked/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/johnny-football-trademarked/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Nov 2012 22:03:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alabama Crimson Tide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cam Newton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heisman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Johnny Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Johnny Manziel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Texas A & M]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tim Tebow]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25630</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman MANZIEL’S “JOHNNY FOOTBALL” TRADEMARKED Texas A &#38; M red-shirt freshman quarterback, Johnny Manziel, receives a snap in the red zone while the best defense in college football crashes in on him from both sides. What happens next? Manziel fumbles the ball in mid-air, grabs it back with his left hand, escapes from an on-rushing linebacker, shifts the ball to the right hand then flicks it 20 yards to a receiver standing alone in the end zone with no defender within ten feet. Whoa? Did that just happen… against Alabama? Or did we just watch a video game?  No, that DID just happen. But, if it were a video game, the game would be called “Johnny Football” &#8211; the nickname Texas Aggie fans gave Johnny Manziel. He didn’t ask for it. It was ordained on him and his parents, with the help of the school, are trademarking the name. Let’s back up. Manziel or his parents are not permitted to make money on an athletic trademark while Johnny is in college.   What they can do, however, is prevent others from profiting on the nickname Johnny didn’t ask for. They can stop enterprisers from marketing drinking [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Comments on Harden to Rockets Trade</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/comments-on-harden-to-rockets-trade/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/comments-on-harden-to-rockets-trade/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Nov 2012 02:07:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alexander Graham Bell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Billy Gibbons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brigham Young]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charles Darwin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friedrich Engels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Houston Rockets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[James Harden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kimbo Slice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Metta World Peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oklahoma City Thunder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Zach Galifianakis]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=25338</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman REACTIONS TO HARDEN HOUSTON ROCKETS TRADE The comments regarding the Harden and others to Houston trade ranges from the flabbergasted to declaring both sides being winners. We’ve collected a few of the comments for your enjoyment. Some are from tweets, others from the grave (being Halloween and all): Metta World Peace: Traded to the Rockets? No playoffs for Harden. Now I’m going to have to waste a regular season elbow. Brian Wilson (Bearded and Mohawked SF Giants relief pitcher): I missed the World Series, maybe he’ll miss the playoffs. Maybe, now, he’ll quit using “Fear the Beard.” That was mine. Kimbo Slice (MMA fighter): I just wanna bang. Knowwhatimsayin? That Harden guy, he got my beard, my fierce, fierce eyes. Well, I just wanna know, can he bang? Freeway the rapper: Yo, you’s got Free’s beard stickin’ out! You a thug imposter, you deserve an Oscar. Zach Galifianakis: The bearded guy? He got traded? I suppose Laker fans now think they’ll have an easier time winning the west. They probably think things went “perfect” which is spelled with seven letters. You know what else has seven letters? Meeeeee. Coincidence? I think not. Billy [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Politically Incorrect Mascots and Nicknames in Verse</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/politically-incorrect-mascots-and-nicknames-in-verse/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/politically-incorrect-mascots-and-nicknames-in-verse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Oct 2012 04:46:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Florida State Seminoles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gamecocks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Notre Dame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ole Miss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhode Island School of Design]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Santa Cruz]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24548</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman POLITICALLY INCORRECT MASCOTS AND NICKNAMES IN VERSE Up Quincy way in the land of Mass East Nazarene had a proud team, full of sass No bones be made ‘bout being invaders Rompin’ and stompin’, fear the Crusaders. U.N.D., up in the frozen north Dakota, yes, with fear brought forth Blood curdling warriors to me and you The tribe still permits: The Fighting Sioux. In South Bend a team persists To settle differences with its fists A leprechaun with its dukes held high O, the Fighting Irish, aye, he be the guy. Deep in Vicksburg in the Southern Nation Stands a mustachioed Rebel on his plantation Ol’ Colonel Reb with his spats and cane Like to a flood, as welcome as rain. In Michigan is a town called Watersmeet So you’d think their mascot be a something sweet But you’d be wrong, wow, what are the odds A team proudly known as, what else, Nimrods. Down in South Carolina, no favorite of PETA Those fighting roosters, says Tina, a senorita Are on shirts and hats and pants and socks You can hear them squawk, the Fighting Cocks. Slimy yellow mollusk sliding into home How far [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>WVU-BAYLOR High Scoring Hype</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/wvu-baylor-high-scoring-hype/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/wvu-baylor-high-scoring-hype/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2012 21:24:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[andy griffith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Baylor Bears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dez Bryant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Geno Smith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heisman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Ditka]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Morgantown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nick Florence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[West Virginia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23955</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman MOUNTAINEERS-BEARS TRACK MEET AND THE HYPE Warning: This column contains supererogatory hyperbole. If unable to handle, put it down. You’ve heard some of these, right, from the 70-63 West Virginia-Baylor 2-points-a-minute endzonerator? Also, here are some you haven’t heard. Let’s restate the obvious. 70-63, 133 points in a game where Vegas thought it was going to be a track meet, so much so, they pegged the OVER at 83 points. Even Vegas was blown away. Here’s a thought. If you were a defensive back in this game and you’re thinking you might have a smidgen of a chance at the NFL, buy up every video, tape, or whatever you can find and hold a bonfire. Invite all the guys from the crowd who went to the trouble of making those big “D”s and picket fences so they can add kindling. “Basketball started early in the Big 12.” “The punters should return their scholarships.” “I might need more gunpowder for this game,” said John Morgan, Mountaineer mascot. “The WVU radio network has now taken to referring to any possession not resulting in a touchdown as ‘break point’.” “Baylor did a great job of promoting RG3s [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>To Flop or Not to Flop</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/to-flop-or-not-to-flop/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/to-flop-or-not-to-flop/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2012 19:18:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charles Barkley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Stern]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manu Ginobili]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marc Anthony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NBA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ray Allen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reggie Miller]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Slappy White]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spike Lee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vlade Divac]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23934</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman TO FLOP OR NOT TO FLOP This year, “floppers” will pay, says the NBA, in a big way. There will be fines, some players may mind, may even whine. Manu Ginobili, primo flopper most nobly as he’s known globally, will probably be most affected. For when Manu flops, his moves are so smooth, it takes weeks before they’re detected. Manu’s flops are legendary, some say a Divacish-full-body, after the Serb seven-footer named Vlade. Vlade’s flops were so wet, leaving lots of flop sweat, pooled up like a dewy gooey back-haired pet. Oh slap me, before I become Slappy White. Thanks, I needed that. Here’s what we find funny about NBA commissioner Stern’s proclamation. Players will be fined for “theatrical flopping”. In other words if you fool the refs, you’re a good actor and the better you are as an actor, the more you’ll be fined. Not exactly the goal of the Stanislavski method taught by Lee Strasberg. What is the NBA to do, employ acting coaches, Shakespearian bards on the bench to critique the acting? Will there be a “Hamlet” rule? Will Reggie Miller, considered the greatest offensive flopper in NBA history, soliloquy Act [...]]]></description>
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		<title>10th Anniversary a Big Deal</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/10th-anniversary-a-big-deal/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/10th-anniversary-a-big-deal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Oct 2012 20:59:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Josh Roberts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Krawczyk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Tyson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23799</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman 10TH ANNIVERSARY A BIG DEAL This week is the 10th anniversary of Silliman on Sports. I know! It seems like only yesterday. Time flies when you’re writing silly sports columns. What should we do to celebrate? It’s been a decade of giggles. Any ideas, readers? Don’t suggest we wheel in a big cake to someone’s bachelor (or bachelorette) party so I can jump out of it somewhat like the cartoon shown below. That’s an idea only a crazy cartoonist would love, a really doubly warped cartoonist at that. First off, I can’t jump. My jumping days are over and it takes all the surprise out of the jumping-out-of-a- cake show if a couple of guys, or gals, have to lean over the cake, break through the top layer of icing and pull you up by your arms. And then be careful not to rip your sash… and then steady you while you regain your balance. And then run after the party goers who are rushing to the restrooms for their not-too-unexpected upchucks. One thing I can be thankful about, regarding the cartoon, is the crazy cartoonist didn’t give me porn star boobs. He has [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Tazer Has Come to Sporting Events</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/tazer-has-come-to-sporting-events/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/tazer-has-come-to-sporting-events/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Oct 2012 02:49:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Baseball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23675</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman So Many Tasers, So Little Time Looking for the best spot to be tased? Try a sporting event. Hey, just this week we had a teenager tased at a Phillies baseball game and a drunken heckler zapped at a golf tournament.  Coming to a Little League game near you: Don’t be shocked! Oh, sorry, I’m all charged up with stun gun puns. The poor teenager, Steve Consalvi, was dancing around the outfield at Citizens Bank Park Tuesday night when a police officer shot him with a stun gun. “I feel stunning… When I’m running… They’ve come gunning … I feel craz-y Please don’t tase me Fuzz can’t faze me Cause I’m so stunning… And running with joy I’m a pretty wonderful boy” At The Players Championship golf tournament on Friday 36-year-old Travis Parmelee yelled at players, became belligerent and pulled away when officers tried to put him in a golf cart. When he continued resistance, he was tased. “I’m all snockered… Oh, so snockered I’m the drunkest skunk on the block And I’m hecklin’ Yes, I’m hecklin’ At golfers who are drivin’ the rock Doncha try to take me in that ‘lectric car [...]]]></description>
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		<title>1992 Video: Silliman on Oral Roberts</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/1992-video-silliman-on-oral-roberts/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/1992-video-silliman-on-oral-roberts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Sep 2012 17:21:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stan Silliman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[City of Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oral Roberts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ORU]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roy Clark]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=23578</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Stan SillimanSports writer for 10 years, my Bleacher Report articles in USA Today, LA Times, Forbes, Dallas Morning News. Seven books, 6000 jokes, 800 columns written. Also very active on a website called Kwipster. I've writtens for comics and cartoonists. Samples of some of my cartoon/humor books can be seen at www.comedyempirepress.com I'm also a comedian with regular appearances in New York, Dallas, Austin, Oklahoma City and Las Vegas. If I ever get on cruise ships, I'll let you know.More Posts - Website - Facebook]]></description>
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