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	<title>HumorOutcasts &#187; Cathy Cantu</title>
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	<link>http://humoroutcasts.com</link>
	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>Hard-Core Soccer Moms Judge Kids By This . . .</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hard-core-soccer-moms-judge-kids-by-this/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hard-core-soccer-moms-judge-kids-by-this/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 20:51:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[soccer moms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33147</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From us hard-core soccer moms: Some may question our philosophy. We&#8217;re not exactly proud to say that we judge a ten-year-old’s character by her speed and footwork, but hey, life’s not fair. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hard-core-soccer-moms-judge-kids-by-this/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Acceptance Speech For Sports Mom of the Year</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/acceptance-speech-for-sports-mom-of-the-year/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/acceptance-speech-for-sports-mom-of-the-year/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Mar 2013 02:05:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30836</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ladies and Gentlemen, coaches, trainers, orthopedists, x-ray technicians, the guys who created the Maps app on my phone, and my therapist, Kendall Jackson:  I humbly thank you for this honor. Thank you for acknowledging my efforts to keep this soccer team at an elite level.  Having our eight-year-old girls play against thirteen-year-olds is the best way to prevail in this wonderful sport, as long as they don’t give in to namby-pamby excuses like “strained” hamstrings and torn ACL’s and such.  Remember excuses are like sweaty shin guards—everybody’s got ‘em and they all stink. I’ve always encouraged Coach Nigel to enter us in tournaments that would help our girls be seen by the highest caliber Brazilian boarding schools and the top South American Soccer Clubs—like the infamously ruthless women’s team “La Liga de No Zapatos, No Servicios,” which translated means the “League of No Blood, No Foul.” I’m amazed at the exceptional soccer knowledge I’ve brought to the team without ever having played.  Actually, I’ve instigated several dynamic changes in our game. For example, you know when our players throw themselves violently and unprovoked to the ground inside the opponent’s 18-yard box as if they were blatantly fouled?  That was ME.  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/acceptance-speech-for-sports-mom-of-the-year/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Don&#8217;t Blame It All On Estrogen</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-blame-it-all-on-estrogen/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-blame-it-all-on-estrogen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:12:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30503</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Reliable sources from Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! state that women speak three times more words per day than men.  In groups, women speak in a “stream of consciousness” manner about infinite topics.  The chemicals responsible for this are estrogen and sometimes tequilaphrine. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dont-blame-it-all-on-estrogen/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<title>Solving World Problems One Riblet Basket At a Time</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/solving-world-problems-one-riblet-basket-at-a-time/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/solving-world-problems-one-riblet-basket-at-a-time/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Mar 2013 02:43:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women vs. men]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30417</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This time of year many men get together with friends, building bromances watching basketball. Unlike women, men in groups engage in competitions to determine their male superiority over the losers in their herd.  Men are very self-conscious about their manhood.  That’s why they must constantly check to see if it’s still there. Studies show men talk to each other about four subjects: work, women, sports, and caulk.  And they’re concerned about things women find irrelevant. For example, after I had lunch with a new friend Charlene, my husband asked me what her husband did for a living.  I looked at him like he’d just asked me who won the Heisman in 1970 (like I was even BORN then. . . Wooo hooo!  Wine just came out of my nose). I shrugged.  “Seeing as how Charlene ordered a Mai Tai and was uneasy until she balanced the negative energy of her Riblet Basket with the doorway, I presume he’s a feng shui love doctor.  Geez!  HOW the heck should I know?” My sistah girls and I also meet occasionally to discuss Ryan Reynolds and other global issues—like if they’ve ever accidentally passed gas doing the Downward Dog.  Or if, while studying [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/solving-world-problems-one-riblet-basket-at-a-time/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Warning for First Dates</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/warning/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/warning/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Mar 2013 15:16:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30229</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do NOT disclose on a first date that you are a “Trekkie” and that the Klingon Carpaccio at Starfleet conventions has really gone downhill since Gene Roddenberry died. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/warning/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<title>And That&#8217;s Why . . . .</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/and-thats-why/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/and-thats-why/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Mar 2013 03:30:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=30134</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[And That&#8217;s Why . . . . &#160; “Take her down, Missy Rae!  She ain’t nothin’ but a beat down skank!  And so’s her mama!”  And that’s why I’m no longer welcome at my daughter’s soccer games. &#160; momlogic.com Praise God that I am not addicted to looking at inappropriate pictures on beefcakes.com.  Thank you, Lord, I don’t have that cross to bear like Pastor Dale and his wife, Niecy.  And that’s why I am no longer welcome to be a member of the End of Ages Holy House of Angels on Fire “praise team.” “Why don’t you “prissies” just lighten up and get your freak on!” And that’s why I am no longer welcome to attend PTA meetings anymore. “C’mon Booger Bear, let’s streak through the hot wax!”  And that’s why I am no longer welcome at the Speedy Kwik car wash. “Hello, officer.  I just love a man in uniform.  The PTA sent me to demonstrate to you all the serious infractions that continually occur underneath the bleachers.”  And that’s why I’m no longer welcome to talk to the security guard at school. &#160; mojosteve.blogspot.com “My homemade powdered Kool-aid is not ‘happy powder’ that I sell from my house.  It’s actually a completely [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/and-thats-why/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Another Birthday, Another Boat-load of Stupid</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/another-birthday-another-boat-load-of-stupid/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/another-birthday-another-boat-load-of-stupid/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Feb 2013 23:44:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29588</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; My birthday was this week, and things are sagging—my body AND brain. You’d think our brains would improve since they get fuller with time.  Not so.  Time has sabotaged my ability to clearly communicate without fumbling for the names of my children and/or everyday objects. “Bren&#8230; Chri&#8230;.MICHAEL!!  Pick up that (pointing) uh&#8230; um&#8230; AARGH&#8230; soccer ball or I will steal your uh&#8230; (pointing) your&#8230; phone and tweet, “Just finished Say Yes to the Dress. #RandyROCKS.” I’ve developed a boat-load of stupid this year.  Maybe it’s my addiction to romantic comedies. I watched one on my laptop last week, snuggled in my La-z-boy and wearing my earphones.  I used earphones because I didn’t want my kids to bother me as I engaged in flirty internal dialogue with Bradley Cooper. ryanseacrest.com &#160; I was blissfully engrossed in his facial stubble when my daughter interrupted me. In my best serial-killer voice I seethed, “Can you not give me one minute to myself to watch Murder She Wrote?  I don’t have to live like this!”  Actually I was just thinking that last part. Normal people understand that someone wearing earphones desires privacy.  Not only was I peeved that my family wasn’t normal, but also that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/another-birthday-another-boat-load-of-stupid/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<title>Sporting Beer Goggles?  Step Away From the Karaoke Machine</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/sporting-beer-goggles-step-away-from-the-karaoke-machine/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/sporting-beer-goggles-step-away-from-the-karaoke-machine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Feb 2013 16:41:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29379</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do not ever give in to the temptation to sing karaoke in a bar if you look around and think to yourself how unbelievably “hot” everyone is. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/sporting-beer-goggles-step-away-from-the-karaoke-machine/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>You Wanna Bring the Voodoo Dolls?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-wanna-bring-the-voodoo-dolls/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-wanna-bring-the-voodoo-dolls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2013 21:42:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=29304</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“This year our theme is “Underbelly of New Orleans! Raise your hand if you want to bring the voodoo dolls and sacrifice the live chicken!”  &#8212;-  And that’s why I’m no longer welcome to head up the school auction. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/you-wanna-bring-the-voodoo-dolls/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hello, I&#8217;m the Frazzled Mom, and I&#8217;m a Slacker</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hello-im-the-frazzled-mom-and-im-a-slacker/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hello-im-the-frazzled-mom-and-im-a-slacker/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Jan 2013 22:54:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breaking new years resolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frazzled mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[political humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stephen Colbert]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=27712</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions because I always end up breaking them.  I really need some self-discipline, but that means I’d get a reputation for efficiency and the Snarky Housewives of the PTA would put me on the fund-raising committee when I’m busy not going to all the meetings. Here are a few of last year’s resolutions for which I showed little restraint and broke within a few days. To those braggy chicks on Facebook who post, “OMG, I can’t fit into anything because my waist is so tiny since I started working out.  Life is so unfair!”  I’ll stop responding, “I know what you mean.  Bobbi Jean needed lunch money today, and I couldn’t give her any because all I had were hundreds.  I feel so guilty!” I will once again try to stop drunk dialing Stephen Colbert and telling his assistant I’m Ann Coulter researching a story about GSA spending and I really need to talk to him about going with me to Las Vegas to prove if it’s actually possible to blow $800,000 partying in one night. &#160; 2011globalmarketing.wordpress.com &#160; I vow to stop taking pictures of my Elf on the Shelf engaged in inappropriate activities, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/hello-im-the-frazzled-mom-and-im-a-slacker/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Pre-marital Sex?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/pre-marital-sex/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/pre-marital-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:46:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26029</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why are Baptists against pre-marital sex? Because it could lead to dancing. (JK &#8211; I have lots of Baptist friends.  Hey, we&#8217;re in the Bible belt!) Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/pre-marital-sex/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Shampoo Promises a Steamy Shower</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shampoo-promises-a-steamy-shower/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shampoo-promises-a-steamy-shower/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:40:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=26015</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday my teenage daughters asked me for more shampoo and conditioner, and I said I’d pick some up at the grocery since I was on my way there. They rolled their eyes and sighed because they “needed” the expensive stuff at Salon d’Fortune Geaux Au Revoir.  According to my high school French, I’m pretty sure that means, “say goodbye to your money.” “We want ‘Savage Smoothing Serum for Sexy Body’ and ‘Hard Up and Slept In Moisture Geleé,’” they whined. “Please.  I used my mom’s Head &#38; Shoulders,” I said as I got in my car.  Puzzled as to what that had to do with anything, they stood at the door, boldly waving their flag of Entitlement. (Just kidding, girls! Ya’ll are wonderful). The typical Millennium Generation female has long hair.  Those with straight hair enjoy unlimited popularity and humidity.  And girls with curls stay in bed when it rains, feigning near-fatal PMS, and have to sit at the lunch table with the frizzy-hairs sporting dental headgear. My girls have curls.  We’ve tried everything to tame frizz, but there’s always something new “that Ashley uses that’s only the best thing on the market and will turn my life around.” flickriver.com [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/shampoo-promises-a-steamy-shower/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<title>Mama Don&#8217;t Like to Freeze in the Piggly Wiggly</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/mama-dont-like-to-freeze-in-the-piggly-wiggly/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/mama-dont-like-to-freeze-in-the-piggly-wiggly/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:39:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=24984</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; I&#8217;m so glad it&#8217;s fall.  During brutal Memphis summers, we southern girls start glistening as soon as we step outside.  For my anniversary in August, I was gettin’ all gussied-up, with big hair despite 99% humidity, and I forgot I was out of my real expensive perfume.  So I drove to the store to buy some, and before I could park and walk into Walmart, I looked like I’d been hit in the face by a Super Soaker. You’d think that a visit to the grocery store would bring relief from the kind of sweltering stickiness that makes the lotion on my legs run down to my flip flops.  However, every time I approach Piggly Wiggly’s sliding doors, an Arctic blast rushes through my damp clothes, gripping every muscle in my body and twisting me into a tight-jawed, grumpy-butt Sue Sylvester (Glee) with frozen underwear. During one of our many heat waves, I went to the grocery and tackled the frozen food aisle first. I rummaged around the freezer, deciding which vegetable I could fool my kids into eating. Consequently, my fingers turned dangerously white and I had to step back, holding the glass door open at arms length. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/mama-dont-like-to-freeze-in-the-piggly-wiggly/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>7</slash:comments>
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		<title>Cheers To Wine!</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/cheers-to-wine/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/cheers-to-wine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Sep 2012 23:05:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wine]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=22770</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits.  The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. Cathy CantuI'm a mom of 3 teens living in TN. I write about the chaos of raising kids while teetering on the edge of insanity. I am proud that as a mother, I have reached the pinnacle of mediocrity, just sayin'.More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/cheers-to-wine/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>I Ain&#8217;t What I Used To Be</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-aint-what-i-used-to-be/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-aint-what-i-used-to-be/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Sep 2012 21:22:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[average mom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[getting older]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kid humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mom humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[supermom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=22759</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I used to have a friend, Penelope, who had four kids and always seemed perfectly pulled together, like June Cleaver in size zero rhinestone-studded jeans and stilettos. She was typically the team mom, and she’d cook breakfast for the whole class on the first day of school. She also competed in triathlons and made charming scarecrows from milk jugs. I bet she didn’t have any moldy vegetables in her refrigerator either. “Perfect Penny,” as I’d sneer in a nice way, consistently kept her composure and never threatened to run away like I did. She never yelled at her kids and always remembered to throw away the  Halloween pumpkins on her front porch before they caved in. That’s because she was much younger than me. In my thirties, I did it all, but lost my sanity and memory in the process. Back when I had a four-year-old, a two-year-old, and a newborn, I could’ve medaled in Olympic multitasking. I was Flo-Jo in baggy sweatpants running the race of my life every day. Except for the running part. I could put a toddler in time-out in the supermarket, estimate the cost of my groceries, soothe a sick baby, and decide which AP [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-aint-what-i-used-to-be/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<title>I Might Like Prozac Barbie After All</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-might-like-prozac-barbie-after-all/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-might-like-prozac-barbie-after-all/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Aug 2012 16:57:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Cantu</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chardonnay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prozac Barbie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[southern humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wine]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=21995</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I often shop at the upscale, Just Plucked fresh food market in my suburb, but I stick out like Peg Bundy in Tiffany’s.  All the ladies wear tennis outfits or dark, rhinestone-studded jeans with stilettos.  I’m convinced everyone is looking at my hair and assuming I can’t afford to get my roots done.  I always feel a little nervous, like Aimee on My Big Redneck Vacation when all the rednecks visited London and discovered they were having spotted dick for dinner. Recently while shopping at Just Plucked, I noticed Prozac Barbie with her preschoolers, Babs and Ken Jr.  I saw her lips cart coming around the corner first, and she looked like Lisa Rinna/Daisy Duck perturbed with the children.  I didn’t know she was mad at them at first because she was botoxicated trying to stay calm.  But when I got closer I heard her hiss something to her son about the cookie he was eating and his expensive Polo shirt. While standing at the meat counter, little K used his fingers to wipe chocolate from his mouth.  Aghast, at least I think, Barbie pulled baby wipes out of her Louis Vuitton and shoved them toward Kenny’s face.  By that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2012/i-might-like-prozac-barbie-after-all/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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