Blog Archives

I am not a happy camper

August 11, 2015
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Recently I started worrying that my wife no longer loves me. No, I didn’t catch her with another man. And no, we didn’t have another nasty argument about the proper way to load a dishwasher.…

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The joys and perils of working for my wife

August 4, 2015
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Recently my wife Michele and I started a new chapter in our lives by moving to a lovely, somewhat remote island. We also decided to start working together. We thought, what better way to strengthen…

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Kids, Ask Me About God – By Reverend Tornquist

July 28, 2015
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[Note from the staff at HumorOutcasts: This week, we are privileged to feature a LIVE CHAT with noted Christian evangelist Reverend Norman Tornquist, host of the popular webcast, Kids, Ask Me About God. Tornquist is…

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The joy of buying a new computer

July 21, 2015
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The joy of buying a new computer

I recently bought a new laptop because my old one was having problems. From my purchase experience, I want to pass along the following helpful piece of advice: NEVER EVER BUY A NEW COMPUTER. Limp…

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Is your self-esteem a little too positive? Why not try golf?

July 14, 2015
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Is your self-esteem a little too positive? Why not try golf?

When I’m feeling a little too good about myself – a little too self-assured – nothing brings me back down to earth, to my normal state of self-loathing and despair, like five hours of nonstop…

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The case against marriage equality for left-handed people

July 7, 2015
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The case against marriage equality for left-handed people

It’s time patriotic, flag-waving Americans stand up for our God-given right to oppose any minority group that makes us feel slightly uncomfortable. The time is now to raise arms – and legs – against the…

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America is the greatest nation on earth – In your FACE, Denmark

June 30, 2015
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America is the greatest nation on earth – In your FACE, Denmark

On July 4th, we will once again celebrate our independence from the tyranny of England. Those British monarchs can be so oppressive. If it were up to Queen Elizabeth, we’d all be forced to drink…

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Try PLACEBOLAX, the exciting new miracle weight loss cure. Start losing it all today!

June 23, 2015
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Try PLACEBOLAX, the exciting new miracle weight loss cure. Start losing it all today!

Introducing Placebolax® – from SCAMCO – the company that brought you the (not-quite-FDA-approved) sleep interrupter device Miracle Snore and Eye Can See, the popular battery-operated do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit. Try Placebolax today and you’ll…

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A letter to our wives: Thank you for the wonderful Father’s Day gifts

June 16, 2015
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A letter to our wives: Thank you for the wonderful Father’s Day gifts

From all of us loving husbands, Dear Sweetie, Honey, Darling, Angel, Punkin, Cutie Pie, Snuggle Bunny, Sweet Cakes, or in the case of Mrs. Eunice McCutchen of Big Butte, South Dakota, You Old Ball &…

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Fifty Shades of White

June 9, 2015
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Fifty Shades of White

When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since.…

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