Blog Archives

Open Letter to the Makers of Elf on the Shelf

December 6, 2012
By

To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for creating the Elf on the Shelf franchise of books, cookies, plush dolls, DVDs…etc. which enable parents such as my wife and me the privilege of paying $29.95 to…

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10 Rejected “Eye of the Tiger” Alternate Lyrics…

October 1, 2012
By
10 Rejected “Eye of the Tiger” Alternate Lyrics…

This past football weekend, I heard no fewer than a dozen different sports commentators describe various athletes as having the “eye of the tiger” as a positive tribute to a particularly gritty or unrelenting athletic…

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Once Upon a Vasectomy….

September 18, 2012
By

Once upon a time, there lived a family of four. The parents so loved their kids, they wanted to try for one more. After trying and prayers, they soon had a boy – this latest…

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8 Nasty Types of Fruit

September 6, 2012
By

I love virtually all vegetables and fruits. But let’s be honest, not all fruits are worth eating. In fact, some might only be sanctioned for consumption in a post-apocalyptic-global-thermo-nuclear-war scenario. Such is the case for…

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Top-10 Creepiest Clowns Ever

June 27, 2012
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I have to confess that I suffer from a disorder that currently has no cure. It’s a haunting problem that few people talk about. But I’m breaking my silence. I have coulrophobia – an acute fear…

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5 Delivery Room Rules for Expectant Dads

June 20, 2012
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5 Delivery Room Rules for Expectant Dads

Given that we’re about to have our third child, I thought I’d share five rules to help expectant dads survive and navigate the newborn experience. Below is an infographic I developed titled – Baby Delivery: 101.  …

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The Final Bastion of Manhood Falls….

June 5, 2012
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The Final Bastion of Manhood Falls….

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a bit of a “Toy Whisperer.” I mean, if I had a superpower it would be knowing the perfect toy for  each kid. Birthdays, holidays, elementary school graduations…

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Tinkerbell, Freedom & Cleverbot???

June 4, 2012
By

One of the more popular features on my site The Daily ReTORt are installments of my conversations with Cleverbot. What’s Cleverbot you ask? Cleverbot, is Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) software  that supposedly learns by conversing with…

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12 Things Dads Do NOT Want to Hear….

May 29, 2012
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12 Things Dads Do NOT Want to Hear….

As a parent of two kids – plus another expected addition within the next few weeks – there are some things I love to hear my daughters say. Such as, “You’re the greatest dad ever” or…

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10 Places Beach Balls Are Not Welcome

May 18, 2012
By
10 Places Beach Balls Are Not Welcome

I was jogging the other day through a park near our home, and I saw a group of kids playing with a beach ball – trying to keep it off the ground. It got me…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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Boomer on the Ledge
By Molly Stevens and HumorOutcasts Press

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Heartly God?
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