Politics

Primary Colors

May 18, 2016
By

Approaching Indiana’s May primary, I found myself full of double negatives: That is to say, I flipped a coin to determine who I least wanted to vote against. Maybe that’s not technically a double negative,…

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Bacon & Chocolate Party Wants You to Head Your Own Federal Department

May 3, 2016
By
DeLanceyPaul

How often has this happened to you? You: Gah! I wish we had enough money to buy yogurt-covered pretzels. Spouse: We can’t. You have a lousy job. You: I wish I could find a better…

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FIFTEEN SIGNS YOUR HUSBAND IS THINKING OF VOTING REPUBLICAN

May 2, 2016
By

l) “The Art of the Deal” is the first item on his Amazon wish list. 2) He’s changed his password to “BigHands” 3) The bumper sticker on his car says WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR HONOR…

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Tumultuous Toity Terrain

April 29, 2016
By

Someone recently asked Donald Trump about his stance on…bathrooms. If you ask me, two important issues that are consistently overlooked by the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD are bathroom use and overdue library books. His…

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Driving Miss Sleazy

April 28, 2016
By

If you are a Miss or Mrs. in Saudi Arabia, you are not allowed to drive. WOW! To quote the Deputy Crown Prince (of darkness), “The community is not convinced about women driving.” In English…

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TRUMP VOWS TO AVENGE WISCONSIN PRIMARY LOSS; GOVERNOR AGREES

April 25, 2016
By

ALLENTOWN, PA—After nearly being shut out of the Wisconsin primary, and losing all but 6 of its delegates to opponent Ted Cruz, Donald Trump vowed to avenge his loss by waterboarding all those “fat, disgusting…

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Political Sillimericks

April 16, 2016
By

Trump and Boehner – fruit colored One, nationalist, the other a dullard One weeps uncontrollably The other, a king, wannabe Neither eats greens that are collard John and Don, with the hue of a carrot…

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Bernie Phone Home

April 16, 2016
By

Is Bernie Sanders human? Or E.T.? Or, did Bernie Sanders have a bastard son with a turtle? Very important questions, considering he’s running for the highest office in the land.     PFHardieI am a…

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Charmin’s Law makes wiping after bodily functions a sex offense felony

April 10, 2016
By

After public pressure from victim’s rights groups who were casualties of non-predatory and non-violent sex crimes, President Barack Obama on Thursday signed into law the latest legislation designed to preemptively deter explorative fondling. Aptly named…

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Putin on a Tantrum

April 5, 2016
By

The Kremlin, aka Vladimir Putin, reacted harshly to accusations regarding Russian officials hiding billions of dollars in secret Panamanian bank accounts. After carefully constructing their response, the Russians issued a statement on CNN, calling the…

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