It isn’t advisable to tell your boss to take the project he just assigned you and shove it up his ass. He might shove it up yours instead. It would be awfully embarrassing to have…
1. If the Big Dipper were to tip over, would it pour water onto the earth? 2. If an astronaut gets burned out and quits, is he spaced out? 3. Why are there dippers in…
1. Never move into an apartment that is too small to fit your furniture, unless you hate your furniture and are looking for a reason to throw it out that won’t make you feel guilty…
1. When you are out walking your dog at night, try not to squash any rats with your foot. It will feel really slimy and squishy, you will splatter rat innards on the sidewalk, it…
Noting that toilets are extremely important for public health and human dignity, Bill Gates has kicked off a “Reinvent the Toilet Fair” and has awarded prizes for promising innovations. Among the finalists: A toilet that…
1. If you are feeling dizzy, weak and nauseous, you are probably sick. 2. If you are probably sick and, instead of doing the smart thing (i.e. staying home and killing whatever freaking bug you…
My mother is arriving from Paris in a few weeks and I’ll face the same questions Americans ask me when they first find out I have a French mother. Here are my answers: 1. The…
1. Listen to your computer-loving, techie-type friends when they give you advice about things you should do with your computer. If you ignore them, and you get into problems, this is the person you should…
1. Even if only two people are together in one room, they will not be able to agree on what to watch on TV. 2. The best way to enliven your wardrobe is to go…
Most Commented