Deb Martin-Webster is one of our original writers on HumorOutcasts.com. She is the author of A Hot Dog Stand in the Himalayas and the soon-to-be released children’s book The Adventures of Annie Banana Bread and Larry Cranberry. Deb’s Plaid Robes, Bunny Slippers, and Marshmallow Fluff is one of the site’s most popular posts which continues to get reads almost every day.
Tell us who Deb-Martin Webster is: (birth, city of origin, criminal history)
I’m the middle child of a middle class family of five. I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with a silver pitch fork in my mouth. Most kids wanted to be teachers, firemen or mob bosses. I wanted to be a farmer. It was my life’s ambition to grow stuff. At the age of five-years-old, I had my own vegetable garden growing corn, tomatoes, string beans, etc. I would write about my crops for extra credit and share them with my classmates. One day, I found a very odd plant growing in the tomato plants which I had purchased from a local street vendor. I had no idea it was a marijuana plant? The kid who wanted to be the mob boss graciously said he would throw it away; at least that’s what he said he was going to do. Such a nice fellow! He must be famous now because I see his photo in all the post offices. I also wanted to be a hobo, but my mother suggested I set my career aspirations a bit higher.
What does Deb Martin Webster like to do for fun? (Ride bulls, kick the cows, hunt down varmints?)
Besides writing and gardening I’m a closet soap watcher. I was saddened to hear about the cancellation of my favorite show, One Life to Live or as we soapsters call it OLTL. I’m going to miss the in-depth dialog between the characters, “John – So you were dead and now you’re alive, okay I get that, all right.” Emmy material!
I also enjoy getting free stuff in the mail. I fill out online free sample forms and use weird names. For example, I filled out a form for free bladder control pads and used the name, Mrs. Peeda Pantz. Another was for a hair straightening product under the name of Miss Napp E. Headmofo. It’s fun to watch the mail person’s reaction when they deliver the product. Endless hours of laugher but then again I’m easily amused.
I also like to sleep, mainly after I’ve had too much coffee. I have the most vivid, bizarre dreams most of which I remember and write about. I had a dream about a presidential candidate who had this wacky chick as his running mate. Some gun-toting yahoo from Alaska who’s daughter ended up on Dancing with the Stars! Woke me up like a dead man on a plank. I never understood that phrase. Anyway, it was more like a nightmare than a dream but from now on . . . decaf!
How did you decide that writing was something you wanted to do? Do you not like to get paid?
Being an artist by degree I’ve always created my own world so writing became just another outlet to take me further into the world of make believe.
What are your favorite topics to write about?
Besides keeping a blog about my gardens I love to write about my life. I enjoy laughing at myself and I hope people enjoy the crazy stuff that I’ve lived through.
What is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you in regards to writing?
Hmmm, it would probably be not to quit my day job. Everyone has a novel in them. Everyone thinks theirs is the next War and Peace. If you are driven by money that’s okay but I believe successful people are driven by passion; a passion to do what they do whether they get paid or not. It’s like the old saying, “Do what you enjoy and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I hate work . . . so, I do what I love.