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	<title>HumorOutcasts</title>
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	<link>http://humoroutcasts.com</link>
	<description>The Place to Take a Humor Break</description>
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		<title>When you legally change your name, can you change it back if you made a mistake?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/when-you-legally-change-your-name-can-you-change-it-back-if-you-made-a-mistake/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/when-you-legally-change-your-name-can-you-change-it-back-if-you-made-a-mistake/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 May 2013 05:13:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[as you do]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can you change it back if you made a mistake?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ed Tiors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ed Tiors Wanted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Editors Wanted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I've just realized something and I probably should have realized it earlier. Like most people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money's too tight to even think about mentioning so I've been trying to come up with extra ways to amass my fortune. Looking through the classifieds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[one job for a magazine that really appealed to me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[out of courtesy as well as desperation. I immediately went and changed my name to by deed poll to Ed Tiors and applied for the job. As I looked at the classafied again]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[really spoke to me and I listened intently]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[something slowly dawned on me like a slow dawn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[When you legally change your name]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32548</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve just realized something and I probably should have realized it earlier. Like most people, money&#8217;s too tight to even think about mentioning so I&#8217;ve been trying to come up with extra ways to amass my fortune. Looking through the classifieds, one job for a magazine that really appealed to me, really spoke to me and I listened intently, as you do, out of courtesy as well as desperation. I immediately changed my name to Ed Tiors and applied for the job. As I looked at the classified again, something slowly dawned on me like a slow dawn:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/when-you-legally-change-your-name-can-you-change-it-back-if-you-made-a-mistake/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/23/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52313/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52313/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 May 2013 01:15:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33352</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the autocomplete options for my Google search was “How many calories are in half a Tic Tac?” Somebody out there needs a hug. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2013 Apparently a three-hole punch is an office supply, not a sex move. I foresee another meeting with HR in my future. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2013 I drink because vodka tastes better than a conscience. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2013 It doesn’t matter what the topic is. The underlying message of 90% of tweets is “I need help.” &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2013 The best sex tape is duct tape as long as you both remember the safe word. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52313/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>HumorOutcasts Radio &#8211; with Deb Martin Webster</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/humoroutcasts-radio-with-deb-martin-webster-2/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/humoroutcasts-radio-with-deb-martin-webster-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 23:51:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Donna Cavanagh</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HO Podcasts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[A Canine's Guide to the Good LIfe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Biltmore Estate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deb Martin Webster]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HumorOutcasts.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Montana]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychic]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33340</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This week on HumorOutcasts Radio, my guest was Deb Martin-Webster.  Deb is always an entertaining guest and we chatted about her work at Biltmore in North Carolina, HumorOutcasts.com, A Canine&#8217;s Guide to the Good Life and her wonderful book Love, Montana  Also, check out Deb&#8217;s author page on HumorOutcasts.com at http://humoroutcasts.com/author/deb-martin-webster/  Also, check out and vote for Deb Martin-Webster&#8217;s photography at Fine Art America: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/colorado-trails-in-autumn-deb-martin-webster.html Click on Deb&#8217;s name to hear the interview Deb Martin Webster   &#160;]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/humoroutcasts-radio-with-deb-martin-webster-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://humoroutcasts.com/podcast/HORadio-5-22.mp3" length="7184637" type="audio/mpeg" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>President Obama Officially Declares Mississippi A Disaster Area</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/president-obama-officially-declares-mississippi-a-disaster-area/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/president-obama-officially-declares-mississippi-a-disaster-area/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 21:09:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Eric Hetvile</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[disaster]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[disaster area]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[federal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FEMA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mississippi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Moore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oklahoma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[President]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tornado]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33337</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[President Obama today toured the damage left behind by the devastating tornadoes that rocked Moore, Oklahoma and the surrounding areas and responded by declaring Mississippi a disaster area. “We all feel Oklahoma’s loss and are deeply saddened by the tragic loss of life here. We’re going to do everything we can do get these folks back on their feet. I’m also officially declaring Mississippi a disaster area. Federal government resources are stretched at the moment and we can only officially designate one state a disaster area at a time. With all due respect to Oklahoma, the devastation in Mississippi is much, much worse than in Oklahoma. We flew over in Air Force One on the way from Atlanta and were aghast at the decimated infrastructure, junked cars, neglected schools…Their citizens are practically staggering around in a dumbfounded stupor. It looks like it will take decades to get that place up to speed with the rest of the country. That tornado must have really devastated the entire state.” Reporters quickly pointed out that there have not been any natural disasters or tornadoes in Mississippi for years. “Is that so?” asked an obviously surprised Obama, who then quickly concluded his remarks, promising [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/president-obama-officially-declares-mississippi-a-disaster-area/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Game Of Loans</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/game-of-loans/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/game-of-loans/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 05:10:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Because I felt like being humiliated]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Game Loans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Game of Loans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[have nothing and that your future adds up to a grand total of nothing. Those who know me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I made an appointment with the bank manager. There's nothing as refreshing as someone pointing out that you are worth nothing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[know that I have a particular way of doing things and if that particular way]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[somehow allows me to get a laugh out of it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[who's to say my way is the wrong way]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33310</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Because I felt like being humiliated, I made an appointment with the bank manager. There&#8217;s nothing as refreshing as someone pointing out that you are worth nothing, have nothing and that your future adds up to a grand total of nothing. Those who know me, know that I have a particular way of doing things and if that particular way, somehow allows me to get a laugh out of things, who&#8217;s to say that my way is the wrong way:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/game-of-loans/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/22/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52213/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52213/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 03:12:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33330</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I made it to the office by 9 a.m. I got so involved in my work I didn’t check the clock for the first time until 9:01. Today is flying by. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2013 I don’t want to rain on your parade. I want to destroy it in a flash flood and wash the debris out to sea. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2013 That pink camouflage outfit should come in handy if you ever need to stalk a deer in a cotton candy factory. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2013 I told my wife I want positive reinforcement during sex so she started the slow clap. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2013 I can accurately summarize almost all of my best stories as “Vodka. The end.” &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52213/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>School&#8217;s Out for Summer: 5 Reminders for Family Harmony</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/schools-out-for-summer-5-reminders-for-family-harmony/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/schools-out-for-summer-5-reminders-for-family-harmony/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 19:27:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Nancy Berk</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[College Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College Bound and Gagged]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Nancy Berk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[families]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Summer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[summer break]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teens]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33319</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After semesters of freedom, moving back home can be confusing for college students. Greeted by gushing relatives, overflowing refrigerators, and clean bed linens, who wouldn&#8217;t begin to expect continued concierge service? The problem? Your &#8220;hotel&#8221; isn&#8217;t staffed for that. If you&#8217;re anticipating a tiny bit of transitional friction, you&#8217;re not alone. No one ever said launching children into adulthood came without frustrations. The teen tug-of-war between dependence and independence can leave the best parents confused. But if you&#8217;re trying to keep your cool, setting the ground rules at the onset is always a wise move. Here are 5 light-hearted reminders that just might get your student back into the family zone. Reminder 1. A morning wake-up call is actually in the a.m. Reminder 2. Sure you miss your college friends and university stomping grounds, but bite your tongue before you suggest that the tuition check writers have chosen a boring lifestyle. Reminder 3. The kitchen is open 24/7 but you are the clean-up crew. Please refrain from burning the grilled cheese, because three a.m. smoke alarm sirens are frightening. PS: Never deactivate a smoke alarm. A loud smoke alarm is always better than no smoke alarm. Reminder 4. A wet [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/schools-out-for-summer-5-reminders-for-family-harmony/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Dealing With Hackers</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dealing-with-hackers/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dealing-with-hackers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 17:45:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thomas Sullivan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[China]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hackers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33316</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The New York Times recently reported that Chinese hackers from the People’s Liberation Army have resumed their attacks after a brief pause. These guys aren’t going after small stuff like Girls Gone Wild videos. No, they’re targeting big intellectual property like industrial blueprints and manufacturing plans. Web sleuths tracking the hackers have managed to figure out the real identities of some of the hackers. One guy they nabbed is named Wang Dong. I don’t mean to be culturally insensitive, but this guy sounds like a real dick. This thing has gotten really old. We need a fresh new approach to countering state-sponsored hacking. I’ve got three ideas: The Violent Approach Officials know that the hacking is coming from a 12-story building near Shanghai. So we send a slew of drone missiles into it. And when the Chinese complain, we play dumb and say “Hey, our bad, we were aiming for those Iranian nuclear sites.” But no one wants World War Three (well, maybe defense contractors do) so how about trying this: The Fun Approach We figure out a way to allow legitimate web traffic from China to flow unimpeded. But we route the suspect traffic to a server hosting nothing [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/dealing-with-hackers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Why do religious organizations choose to recruit people in the bathroom?</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-do-religious-organizations-choose-to-recruit-people-in-the-bathroom/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-do-religious-organizations-choose-to-recruit-people-in-the-bathroom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 16:00:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Megan McLachlan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Admin Page]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33293</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[En route to Philadelphia, my Megabus made a rest stop, and when I went to use the bathroom, I saw this. To urinate? Yes. But when I flipped the card over, it was all about Judgement Day. Clearly, this was intentional. The &#8220;Are You Ready?&#8221; side of the card is enticing enough for anyone to flip it over. However, I just don&#8217;t get why religious groups target bathroom stalls. Is it because of the ungodly naughtiness that goes on at night in these places? Or do they believe people achieve ultimate enlightenment on the can? For some reason, I picture these religious members sneaking around like elves, placing the cards on toilet paper containers and giving each other high fives. Yes. This will get those heathens on our side.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-do-religious-organizations-choose-to-recruit-people-in-the-bathroom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How to Handle Hot Water Thieves</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-handle-hot-water-thieves/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-handle-hot-water-thieves/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 11:58:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Theresa Wiza</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Good Clean Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hot water]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hot water thieves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[payback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[revenge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thieves]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33305</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They come into your house – or maybe they live in your house – and they steal ALL of your hot water. Or maybe YOU are a hot water thief. If so, SHAME ON YOU! I know what living with hot water thieves feels like. I&#8217;ve been living with them practically my whole life. My youngest sister was a hot water thief. Mom would say, &#8220;Don&#8217;t forget to take your showers,&#8221; and Cindy and I would argue about who would get into the shower first. Behind our backs, that thief Kathy would take advantage of the fact that we were paying so much attention to each other that we totally forgot about our sneaky little sister until she slammed shut the bathroom door and locked herself in before we had time to grab our pajamas. Cindy and I would stand by the bathroom watching the steam escape from under the door as Kathy enjoyed her luxurious HOT shower. It was so close to the time we had to go to bed, we knew that if she didn&#8217;t get out of that shower within the next ten minutes we were doomed to taking cold showers. One minute passed, then two. Thirty [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/how-to-handle-hot-water-thieves/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Iron Man 3 for 1</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/iron-man-3-for-1/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/iron-man-3-for-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 05:16:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[different to the other Iron Man films but still great. When you've been with someone for most of the adult life of your brain and the one person in this world who truly understands your hatred for Bon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I was forced into reading "Microwave Cooking for One" and I've never been so full]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iron Man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iron Man 3]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iron Man 3 for 1]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[it's time to walk away. As a hungry man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jill Y didn't like Iron Man 3 so we split up. I'm not going to say it was easy but Iron Man 3 was a great film]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suddenly dislikes an Iron Man film]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=32899</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Jill Y didn&#8217;t like Iron Man 3 so we split up. I&#8217;m not going to say it was easy but Iron Man 3 was a great film, different to the other Iron Man films but still great. When you&#8217;ve been with someone for most of the adult life of your brain and the one person in this world who truly understands your hatred for Bon Jovi, suddenly dislikes an Iron Man film, it&#8217;s time to walk away. As a hungry man, I was forced into reading &#8220;Microwave Cooking for One&#8221; and I&#8217;ve never been so full and content with life:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/iron-man-3-for-1/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>The Tumblr Puzzle</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-tumblr-puzzle/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-tumblr-puzzle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 01:12:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mario Turchiarolo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CEO]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[High School Dropout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spelling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tumblr]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33286</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tumblr CEO was on GMA today. I didn&#8217;t know he was a high school dropout. Which explains why he didn&#8217;t know how to spell tumbler correctly.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-tumblr-puzzle/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/21/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52113/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52113/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 00:47:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33283</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Side effects include weight gain, depression, and loss of sex drive. Ask your doctor if marriage is right for you. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2013 My 3 year old asked me what it’s like to be a grown up. I told her I have no idea. I hope I never find out. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2013 My wife and I got into a fight about whether or not we fight too much. Whether or not that was ironic was the subject of our follow-up fight &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2013 Stop being paranoid. It’s not us against them. It’s everyone against you. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2013 I never solve my problems. I just pick up new ones and hope they cancel out the ones I already have. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52113/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Toilet Paper Trade Act</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-toilet-paper-trade-act/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-toilet-paper-trade-act/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 20:20:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Donna Cavanagh</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shortages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[toilet paper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[united states]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[venezuela]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33263</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Venezuela is running out of toilet paper. The country has plenty of oil, but little bathroom tissue.  We have tons of bathroom tissue but could use some oil. I am neither a diplomat nor an economist, but it’s going to hit the fan in Venezuela soon and we have a chance to be the hero. I think an oil for TP trade seems like a logical move. I hope our government absorbs this situation and doesn&#8217;t  flush an intriguing opportunity down the drain. ]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/the-toilet-paper-trade-act/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Loose Lips: True Story of Master Spy Thomas Kegel</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/loose-lips-true-story-of-master-spy-thomas-kegel/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/loose-lips-true-story-of-master-spy-thomas-kegel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 18:14:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DailyFiberFilms</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Video Fun]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comedy videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Daily Fiber Films]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[films]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kegel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thomas Kegel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[You tube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33274</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[And you will never look at a spy film the same again:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/loose-lips-true-story-of-master-spy-thomas-kegel/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Do It For Grandma</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/do-it-for-grandma/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/do-it-for-grandma/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 16:22:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thomas Sullivan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33272</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Just how good is the IRS? It’s so efficient that not only is it targeting anti-tax groups, it’s also going after businesses that actually want to pay taxes. The IRS is currently enforcing a 1982 addition to the tax code that disallows anyone selling a controlled substance from taking standard business deductions (like rent and payroll). Their target is those state-legalized medical marijuana dispensaries. There’s a dispensary a few miles from my house, near downtown. It’s located on a booming four-lane highway in a house that was once literally rotting into the ground. Before it became a dispensary, the only thing the house was good for was smoking crack and dumping bodies. But it’s been nicely restored and is now a functioning business that pays rent, purchases inputs, and employs a number of people. But like those geriatric, anti-marijuana guys in Congress, the IRS totally gets it. They look at this promising new industry and say “Rents, new jobs, economic activity, and tax receipts? We’ve already got way too much of those.” The impetus for the 1982 tax change now being used to drive dispensaries out of business is quite funny. Some drug dealer successfully claimed that his yacht, weapons [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/do-it-for-grandma/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Not now but soon</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/not-now-but-soon/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/not-now-but-soon/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 05:15:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi are to music what Justin Bieber is to music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi hatred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Einsteins Theory of Bon Jovi Hatred]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Everything moves so fast these days. From the issuing of the restraining order that means I can't get close enough to punch Jon Jovi in the mouth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jon Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Not now but soon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sit down]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Soon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stand-up and think about what to do next. There's no hurry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[to the thought process that compels me to punch Jon Jovi in the mouth. I turned around and all of a sudden it wasn't cool to communicate via carrier pigeon anymore. We all need to chill for a while]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33227</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Everything moves so fast these days. From the issuing of the restraining order that means I can&#8217;t get close enough to punch Jon Jovi in the mouth, to the thought process that compels me to punch Jon Jovi in the mouth. I turned around and all of a sudden it wasn&#8217;t cool to communicate via carrier pigeon anymore. We all need to chill for a while, sit down, stand-up and think about what to do next. There&#8217;s no hurry:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/not-now-but-soon/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/20/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52013/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52013/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 00:53:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33260</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes I wonder why I can&#8217;t have nice things. Then I remember I had to look up how to clean gravy off my smartphone. Twice. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013 I hate when closed-minded people don&#8217;t take my opinion seriously just because I&#8217;m drunk and naked from the waist down. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013 My friend&#8217;s computer can run the latest games on the highest settings. Mine starts on fire if I try to use Microsoft Word. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013 Me: “What lives in the woods?” My 3 year old: “Zombies!” She’s a fast learner. Too bad I’m the one teaching her. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013 99% of the advice I give my kids is some form of “You’re fine. Get up.” The other 1% is “Don&#8217;t tell your mom this happened.” &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-52013/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I Dated a Hooker-Papa&#8217;s Basement</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-dated-a-hooker-papas-basement/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-dated-a-hooker-papas-basement/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 14:13:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>John Papageorgiou</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33251</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[To be fair, most of the episode isn&#8217;t about the fact stated in the title. My co-hostess Allison talks about the awful things she&#8217;s made her niece and nephew done for money. (Not awful enough to necessitate you submitting this podcast to the FBI. Relax.) I also discuss a delightful weekend of food poisoning. But the episode highlight is the revelation that I did indeed go out with a woman who is now a high end escort and what I intend to do with that knowledge. Please feel free to listen to the episode and leave your own suggestions about how I should play things in the comments section. Click here to listen to this episode or use the embedded player below. (iTunes users can subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here.)]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/i-dated-a-hooker-papas-basement/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://www.inpapasbasement.com/podcasts/PB2013_05_13.mp3" length="55324336" type="audio/mpeg" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Music</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/music/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/music/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 05:18:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[as is the perception in certain shapes such as circles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how true that is]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like to listen to The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round when I'm driving because I can relate to it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Just as humor is the cure for all ailments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music is the cure for all ailments. Those musicians who marry humor with music are the true doctors of our world. Ferrymen are not the type of men to mess with so music pays the ferryman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[out of fear rather than anything else. And don't think music doesn't cater for all ages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The wheels on the bus go round and round]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33232</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Just as humor is the cure for all ailments, music is the cure for all ailments. Those musicians who marry humor with music are the true doctors of our world. The ferryman is not the type of man to mess with so music pays the ferryman, out of fear rather than anything else. And don&#8217;t think music doesn&#8217;t cater for all ages, as is the perception in certain shapes such as circles:]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/music/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/19/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51913/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51913/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 01:40:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33241</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here are my least-terrible Twitter posts from today: My mother-in-law said I undercooked the hamburgers. To her, they’re not done until they’re as black as her heart. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 19, 2013 A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. That step is telling the kids to shut up. Step 2 is threatening to turn the car around. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 19, 2013 In case you doubted Wikipedia as a legitimate source of information, it has an entry for “cockblock.” Your move, Encyclopedia Britannica. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 19, 2013 If my wife had a terminal disease that could only be cured by giving me a blow job, she would immediately start shopping for coffins. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 20, 2013 I can tell by the apathetic look in your eyes that you’re dead inside. I think you’re my soul mate. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 19, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51913/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Innovations In Marketing</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/innovations-in-marketing/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/innovations-in-marketing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 May 2013 15:59:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thomas Sullivan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33221</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m a big fan of using unconventional methods to market a cherished creation. The way I see it, the more guerilla-underground your approach, the better it is. For my first book I considered tattooing my book cover on my back and streaking naked onto the stage at the last papal inauguration. But I hate both needles and incarceration, so I went with printing up business cards instead. The other day I came across a true marketing maestro. A guy who creates videos of at-home workouts came up with a simple but ingenious idea. He filmed a workout with a model doing squats in a living room, using some strange metal device for balance. But while the workout was being filmed the guy did an on-camera squat himself – in the adjacent bathroom, with the door open. Pure genius. The whole thing could be staged, but who cares. His video has garnered 165,000 views on You Tube. Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley never came close to pulling down numbers like that. I watched the video. It didn’t really help much on the fitness front. But it’s definitely improved my technique in the bathroom.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/innovations-in-marketing/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Fun Prank</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fun-prank/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fun-prank/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 19 May 2013 11:14:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Y Ledden</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bill Y Ledden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can you outrun them? Are the tables likely to be turned and hurled at you violently? Is your victim Ryan Gosling? This factor is very important as Ryan Gosling fans are mostly teenage girls who are by]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fun prank: buy a real handgun ans paint the nozzle tip bright orange so it looks like a plastic toy gun. Pick a fight with a thug. Pull out the gun. He will laugh. Shoot him]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[He will die]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I like tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[many factors need to be taken into consideration. If the prankee is not impressed with your little stunt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ryan Gosling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ryan Gosling fans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[side note: you will be arrested for this]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[When considering if you should play a fun prank on someone]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33178</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When considering if you should play a fun prank on someone, many factors need to be taken into consideration. If the prankee is not impressed with your little stunt, can you outrun them? Are the tables likely to be turned and hurled at you violently? Is your victim Ryan Gosling? This factor is very important as Ryan Gosling fans are mostly teenage girls who are by far the most dangerous demographic to freak out. A professional pranker will always write his ideas down and take side-notes: &#160;]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/fun-prank/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unicorn Bites 5/18/13</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51813/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51813/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 23:52:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>James Breakwell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Musings / Joke of The Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33206</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My daughters turn 1 and 3 this weekend. It’ll be 48 solid hours of cake, glitter, and princess dresses. Do me a favor and avenge my death. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013 I’m invited to a wedding where a suit and black tie are required. The invite didn’t say anything about footwear. I plan to wear rollerblades &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013 Science has proven birds are a branch of dinosaurs. Now every time I eat chicken, I think, “I bet this tastes just like a stegosaurus.” &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013 Women worry about the wrong physical attributes. Men don’t care if you have a thigh gap as long as there’s a vagina in there somewhere &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013 We bought my 3 year old her first bike. She managed to tip it over even though it’s on training wheels. She drives like her mother. &#8212; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 18, 2013]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/unicorn-bites-51813/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why it’s Nancy Grace’s Fault</title>
		<link>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-its-nancy-graces-fault/</link>
		<comments>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-its-nancy-graces-fault/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 22:50:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kara</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Movies & TV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amanda Knox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cansey Anthony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[court]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jodi Arias]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Menendez brothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nancy Grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OJ Simpson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Phil Specter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rodney King]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ted Bundy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trials]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://humoroutcasts.com/?p=33201</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The regrettably late Court TV was a TV experiment way ahead of its time. What seemed a grotesque spectacle in 1994 with the thoroughly televised trial of Lyle and Erik Menendez, has become a permanent state of being in the criminal courts. I was one of the idiots sucked in by the theatrics and the polarized emotions that that trial aroused. The cornerstone of the defense, presented by a seemingly coked-up, frizzy-haired defense attorney, was the sordid claim that dad was an abusive pedophile and mom was a self-absorbed drug addict, and that “the boys” believed their parents were about to kill them. So, the Beverly Hills brats did what anyone would do in their situation: they preemptively shot their parents full of holes while the couple ate ice cream and watched TV. This was orgasmic media fodder, the prosecutors seemed shellshocked and failed to address head-on the brothers’ unsupported, ridiculous assertions. They neglected to question the brothers over their lurid and tearful descriptions of abuse, and didn’t present any expert witnesses to counter the defense experts. The abuse testimony became the turning point that blunted the prosecution of those two parricidal assholes, and led to at least one  juror totes buying the Menendez brother’s operatic [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://humoroutcasts.com/2013/why-its-nancy-graces-fault/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
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