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Why all the his-panic?

November 18, 2011
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I was emailed this sickening image, along with an accompanying, and too gleefully punctuated, “Pass it on if you agree!”.   Not only do I not agree, it has pissed me off to the point…

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Friday Humor Devotional

November 18, 2011
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Friday Humor Devotional

Dear Lord, I know Jesus turned water into wine, however, with the failing economy could you convince him to turn it into beer . . . preferably a cheap domestic, Amen.

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Random Thought 53

November 18, 2011
By

If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds.

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Forget Twilight: What it Means to Live with a Vampire

November 18, 2011
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I saw on TV that the latest of the Twilight movies, Breaking Dawn, opens in theaters everywhere which means both teenie boppers and sexually-starved middle aged women will flock to see this romantic tale because…

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Women Are Much More Likely To Suffer A Broken Heart. Like, Literally. As In, REAL Damage?!?!?!

November 17, 2011
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Women Are Much More Likely To Suffer A Broken Heart. Like, Literally. As In, REAL Damage?!?!?!

We talk about people being ‘heartbroken’, all the time. They get dumped, they’re sad, they have a broken heart. We have to sit there while they drink beer, eat McDonalds, smoke three packs of cigarettes,…

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Two Emails

November 17, 2011
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In my email, there were two messages from the same marketing company. One offered a discount on holiday cards and the other a discount on penis enlargement pills.  Which should I order?

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I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth but I was born with an ‘I hate Bon Jovi t-shirt’ on

November 17, 2011
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I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth but I was born with an ‘I hate Bon Jovi t-shirt’ on

Kids – You teach them to use their Jedi powers for good and they end up becoming Bon Jovi fans anyway. Little Dill Y is your average 6 year old budding genius. He’s a big…

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What a Bunch of Tofurky!

November 17, 2011
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I recently read a news article that PETA wants Turkey, Texas to change their name to Tofurky, Texas for Thanksgiving.  Personally, I think the good citizens of Turkey should just give PETA the bird instead!

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Obama Dahhn Ahndah

November 17, 2011
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I was just reading that President Obama was in Australia yesterday, and was greeted with a massive fanfare, and a huge display of support. This was, of course, because Australia is not America. (http://www.minutesofmayhem.com) (http://www.twitter.com/NealMayhem)

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Random Thought 52

November 17, 2011
By

Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face.

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Alternate Universes

November 17, 2011
By

I read another article on alternate universes this morning. Apparently, we all have twins in other dimensions who live different lives than we live here, and we can pop on over to see our twins…

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Bradley Cooper

November 17, 2011
By

Now that Bradley Cooper’s been voted ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, will he immediately have the urge to cheat on Jennifer Aniston

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A Dog’s Life

November 17, 2011
By

I normally complain about the cats in my house but this time I have a bone to pick, metaphorically, with my dogs.  It seems that the two dogs, yes, 2 cats, 2 dogs, that also…

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New Identity

November 16, 2011
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I wish someone would steal my identity so I can start over as a penguin.

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Legislation Makes The Waters Surrounding BitTorrent, Smell Like Kiera Knightley’s ‘Merkin’

November 16, 2011
By

Congress began debating anti-piracy legislation pushed by the movie industry. Awesome! So if we’re lucky, we’ll never have to sit though another “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie?

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Our ‘Community’ Needs You

November 16, 2011
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There are very few shows I would say that I love on television. Doctor Who, of course is one. The Colbert Report goes without saying (even though I just did). But, then there’s Community. Maybe…

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What is Twilight Really?

November 16, 2011
By

Lemme get this straight; “Twilight” is a movie about a girl choosing between necrophilia, and bestiality?

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Being A ‘Good Dancer’ Means You’re ‘Nice’???

November 16, 2011
By

  When you see a guy who’s a REALLY spectacular dancer, your first thought is probably, “yeah, he’s gay”.  And that may or may not be true, you stereotyping asshole. But, according to a new…

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Popeye’s

November 16, 2011
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The Popeye’s commercials always have a Southern lady standing in the French Quarter of New Orleans hawking their authentic Cajun fried chicken. Yet when I go to my local Popeye’s, I always end up buying…

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There’s the right way of doing things and Thirsty Dave’s way of doing things

November 16, 2011
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There’s the right way of doing things and Thirsty Dave’s way of doing things

I’m no great thinker like Einstein or Paris Hilton but there’s no logic out there that can explain why George Lucas made those Star Wars prequels. There’s so many valuable things he could have done…

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Random Thought 51

November 16, 2011
By

I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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