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A Letter to Representative Anthony Weiner

June 15, 2011
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Dear Representative Weiner: My name is Mayor Tom Lund; I’m a highly respected fellow politician from Western Pennsylvania.  I’m very upset over your recent behavior. It’s politicians like you that puts a dark cloud over our…

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Dear (insert name) Thank You

June 14, 2011
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“Dear Debbie Martina-Weber, thank you for your recent interest in our dandruff shampoo.  We hope you enjoy your free sample and become an Itchy Twitchy Shampoo user.” I hate pop-up ads!  I have one of…

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Is My Face in Flames?

June 14, 2011
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I am a weather phobe. There is not much about a weather report that doesn’t scare the bejesus out of me. I considered the Channel 5 weatherman in Chicago a mortal enemy as he seemed…

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FREE COFFEE!

June 14, 2011
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FREE COFFEE!

The most entertaining parts of my life are the conversations between my girlfriend and I. She’s a wonderful sport because no matter what she says, I have a knack for taking it to a ridiculous…

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Twitter

June 14, 2011
By

The “Real” Jesus Christ followed me, de-followed me and followed me again on Twitter. I don’t know if I should be flattered or just really worried.

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Curing Stupidity

June 14, 2011
By

Andrew Weiner wants leave for treatment. Not even shock therapy can cure stupidity.

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The Perfect Life of the Pampered Pet

June 14, 2011
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The Perfect Life of the Pampered Pet

 My daughter played travel softball. When nationals came around, we would always board our German Shepherd, Miss Muffie, at The Spa.  The place wasn’t really called The Spa, but the other parents from the team…

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Meteorite

June 14, 2011
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Yesterday, a heart-shaped meteorite crashed through my roof and burned my house. Heart-shaped? Sounds like proof that God loves me! Suck it, atheists!

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Trailer Park Romance and the Viagra Overdose

June 14, 2011
By

I got a call from my girlfriend, Ginger, on Friday. She said that she would be coming over to my place in an hour or so, and that I should get ready to have some…

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Hipster Smell

June 13, 2011
By

My girlfriend wants me to change, but she doesn’t understand that to get that hipster smell, I have to wear the same clothes for a week.

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I Don’t Want to Grow Up

June 13, 2011
By

As I approach the milestone age of 40, I look back at my life, and I think where the hell did it go, and why do I still feel like I’m 20? It seems that…

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I Stood Stone-like at Midnight, Suspended in my Masquerade…

June 13, 2011
By

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a musician… a singer in a rock and roll band. My friends wanted to be firemen, police officers, astronauts, professional athletes… something noble, athletes were nobler…

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Facebook Adds Facial Recognition…

June 12, 2011
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…this is going to make stalking SO much easier. Now all I have to do is quick-snap a photo of that hot barista or the equally attractive patrons, add it to my Mobile Uploads folder,…

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Coping with Comments

June 12, 2011
By
Coping with Comments

One of the downsides to operating a writing website is screening the comments that readers post.  I will admit that in the past I was have been critical of “cheerleading” sites where readers just tell…

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What’s Next at the Mall? Plastic Surgery

June 12, 2011
By

I had to make a quick trip to the mall. I knew what I wanted and where I could get it, so this was going to be a destination shopping event – no browsing or window…

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Heroin Addicts

June 11, 2011
By

Heroin addicts aren’t good for much, but they’re the ones to ask if you want to find a needle in a haystack.

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The Tale of Mr. Yummy Pants

June 11, 2011
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The Tale of Mr. Yummy Pants

I haven’t always been known as Joseph Boxer. Truth be told, I have a more informal name. You see, I used to work for Corporate America, a professional pusher of papers, I wasn’t just a…

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He Might Only Have Eyes for Me but Where are his Ears?

June 11, 2011
By

During one of my insomnia nights, I decided to grab my laptop and read some online news.  There was an interesting article (and I cannot find it now, so I have to wonder if I…

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Art Sale

June 11, 2011
By

My wife and kids had a yard sale and lemonade stand, and my 7-year-old daughter decided to hawk her artwork under a “meet the artist” sign. I bought one of her reproductions for 25 cents.…

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Palin Email Search is On

June 10, 2011
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So the “Palin Papers” have been released, and now people are no doubt feverishly sifting through them to find hilariously stupid things that she’s written. But I must caution everyone that it’s going to be…

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Sarah Palin Denies Japanese Internment

June 10, 2011
By

Sarah Palin cast doubt today on the idea that the Unites States Government interred Japanese-Americans in concentration camps during World War II. She said that this is “the greatest nation in the world” and that…

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