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Joke of the Day – Honesty

July 15, 2011
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If the best humor comes from being honest, then why didn’t my girlfriend find it funny when I told her I slept with her best friend?

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How to Handle Women

July 15, 2011
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[Possibly Rated R, Proceed with Caution] Women are to be handled with kid gloves… all the time. There is no exception to this rule and you cannot waver. If you do… she’ll bite your head…

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The Murder Game

July 15, 2011
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So much for family love at the holidays.  Three brothers were finally charged with the murder of their mother because the woman had the nerve to ask them to play Yahtzee last Christmas Day.  Yes, all…

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Mobile Phone Craziness

July 15, 2011
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We have become so attached to mobile communication devices that you could almost swear they grow from our heads.  It would require surgery to detach some of us from them.  Losing a cell phone is…

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R.I.P My Prada Bag

July 15, 2011
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I love my purse. My Prada bag goes with me everywhere, and it is one of my prize possessions. It is simple, beautiful, a leathery work of art– and I did not pay retail for…

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Zoosk?

July 15, 2011
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I frequently see commercials for a dating site called “Zoosk”. In one spot, a woman is asked how her last date went (her mom set her up). She recounts her tale of woes as follows:…

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Come one, Comal – Tubing in New Braunfels, Texas

July 14, 2011
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Come one, Comal – Tubing in New Braunfels, Texas

Last weekend, I went with a good friend to tame the swirling rapids of the Comal River in New Braunfels, Texas. Upon making our way towards the river tube outfitters, the streets were absolutely crawling…

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“What the hell you mean you’re outta beer!”

July 14, 2011
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“What the hell you mean you’re outta beer!”

  The one constituency you don’t want to piss off while fixing state budgets are the beer drinkers in your state.  Austerity programs in Minnesota that remove employees who process the paper work by which…

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A New Reality Series: Road Rage on the 405

July 14, 2011
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A New Reality Series: Road Rage on the 405

If it’s not the earthquakes, droughts, mudslides or wildfires plaguing California, it’s the budget crisis, unemployment and now Carmageddon.  What, you don’t know what Carmageddon is?  Well, if you live in the Los Angeles area,…

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Oooh, That’s Gotta Hurt!

July 14, 2011
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Oooh, That’s Gotta Hurt!

A recent news article from Westminster, California reported that Catherine Kieu-Becker could get life in prison for penis chopping. On Monday night, police say Kieu spiked a meal and served it to her estranged husband.…

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Jesus Take The Wheel?

July 14, 2011
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There’s a popular song out there called “Jesus Take the Wheel”. The protagonist is heading come to see her family, and we pick up the story here: She had a lot on her mind and…

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Tampons, How Do They Work?

July 14, 2011
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Does any man really know how a tampon works? I know what it does, but I certainly don’t know the components… I don’t know how to use one. It’s not as if I am looking…

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HumorOutcasts Is Now Advertising

July 14, 2011
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This week HumorOutcasts took the next step in our growth plan, we started advertising the site with banner ads via the Google Adwords partner network. We started with the ad below which has already been…

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Tweets from History – Frankenstein

July 14, 2011
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Victor Frankenstein: It’s alive! It’s alive! It’s watching Bill O’Reilly. False alarm!         http://wcti.us/00Bf

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Tweets from History – Geronimo

July 14, 2011
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Geronimo: You say what when you jump out of a plane? … Why? … What’s a plane?   http://wcti.us/001K

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The Night I spent in the Arms of Dolly Parton

July 14, 2011
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On Friday, my midget friend Roger and I were loafing around, playing pinball down at the trailer park office.    Out of the blue, a huge motor coach came rolling into the park.    I had never…

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Two More Inches

July 13, 2011
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I was watching late night TV and perked up when I heard that there was a great way to “gain two more inches”. It promised that I would receive this product in a discreet manner,…

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A slippery slope to AWESOME

July 13, 2011
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A slippery slope to AWESOME

They warned us. They warned us that legalizing gay marriage would lead us down a slippery slope that would eventually see man-on-dog and woman-on-baby marriage. Well, it’s now clear that what happens on Broadway affects…

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Breast Augmentation

July 13, 2011
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I have always been an opponent of breast augmentation surgery. I augment mine the old-fashioned way. Beer and Cheetos.

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Unclogging my Life…or at Least the Kitchen Sink

July 13, 2011
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Unclogging my Life…or at Least the Kitchen Sink

This morning, I woke up to a clogged kitchen sink.  I went to get my plunger, but it was nowhere to be found, and I mean nowhere. It’s not like I would have accidentally thrown…

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When Fetishes Fail

July 12, 2011
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A woman in Ireland died after having sex with a German Shepherd. Yep, she was allergic to something in the shepherd and well, she croaked.  The guy who was with her in this little bestiality…

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Boomer on the Ledge
By Molly Stevens and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Heartly God?
By Wil 3. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle






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