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Happy Endings

June 5, 2011
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 I’m gonna open a massage parlor called “Happy Endings.” I’ll show Disney movies during your session, followed by a hand job..

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How to Buy a NEW Used Car

June 5, 2011
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How to Buy a NEW Used Car

I was sick a couple of weeks ago when I walked into a used car dealership. I had just come out of the hospital with a combination asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia attack, so I wasn’t…

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A Slightly Less Modest Proposal

June 5, 2011
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I’m tired of all these needy people, always refusing to take responsibility for themselves, and crying at the slightest discomfort. Babies should just grow up already. They’re bald and toothless, anti-social, and they can’t give…

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The Midnight Ride of Sarah Palin

June 5, 2011
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Being a man who has made a meager living writing revisionist history in my award-winning American History series—a series no less an authority than my wife refers to as “that stupid shit you write”—I know…

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Statements Made by the Slightly Inebriated

June 4, 2011
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Have you ever walked into a bar at closing time?  It can be a humorous event. By the time last call is announced and the patrons have tossed their car keys in the Need-A-Cab basket…

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A Little (very little) Jocular American Humor

June 4, 2011
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A Little (very little) Jocular American Humor

  Humor is as old as mankind itself.  It is likely that cave dwellers, while hunting for food, would play a prank on the youngest member by somehow getting him to step in or apply…

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First Date, Current Girlfriend

June 4, 2011
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We first met at a restaurant which is now one of our favorite places to visit. As a man, a former bleeding heart bachelor, stating that “we” have a favorite place makes me die a…

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Come on Baby, Light my Fire — Again?

June 4, 2011
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Come on Baby, Light my Fire — Again?

  I started to make spaghetti sauce. I was browning garlic in olive oil when the phone rang. It was a person I was trying to interview for an article for the past week. Immediately,…

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Politics of Change

June 3, 2011
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Politics are so boring. I think we need to spice things up, and pass into law a WWE style cage match instead of the endless droning that currently happens on the floor of Congress —…

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I’m Really Sorry

June 3, 2011
By

Dear World – It’s come to my attention that perhaps I’ve been a bit naive. You see, I just assumed that everyone had my extraordinary gift. I was living life under the false pretense that…

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The Nintendo Generation

June 3, 2011
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The Nintendo Generation

My girlfriend and I are in the waiting room at a Denver hospital… needless to say, we are waiting. At the other end of this particular wing is the oncology ward and as you can…

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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Am I my Mother After All?

June 3, 2011
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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Am I my Mother After All?

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Am I my mother after all? Crap. “How could this happen?” I sobbed. Except there I was in the bathroom holding one of the jars of face cream she gave…

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A Social Network to Track our Coughing, Sneezing and Wheezing

June 3, 2011
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A Social Network to Track our Coughing, Sneezing and Wheezing

When someone asks “How are you?”, do  you take that as an invitation to complain about everything wrong in your life?  Do you believe that the world cares about your every ache and pain? Is…

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Trip to Walmart

June 2, 2011
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I went to Walmart a few weeks ago, because they were having a sale on wife beaters. Not actually people who beat wives, even though I’m sure they work there, but white tank tops. They…

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Personhood

June 2, 2011
By

Some abortion foes have continued to push for the defining of “personhood” at the moment of fertilization. “When the sperm meets the egg.” If this movement is successful, a woman could be charged with murder…

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Two Months Old and HumorOutcasts is making Great Progress

June 2, 2011
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Let me start by saying thanks to all the writers who are providing such outstanding content.  Visitors who have found the site are staying and reading multiple posts, and this wouldn’t happen if the quality…

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Am I My Father’s Son?

June 2, 2011
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Parents pass along all kinds of traits to their children. I am blessed to have blue eyes, an articulate demeanor, a 6’3″ muscular stature, and a pendulum between my thighs. But there is one thing…

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Rural Router Quickie Fix

June 2, 2011
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Our rural area  has major issues with the Internet service. We constantly need to reset our router.  If you’ve ever needed to reboot your home wireless router, you know it’s important to disconnect it from…

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Bedazzled

June 2, 2011
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Years ago, everyone laughed at the Bedazzler. But take a look around today. Everything is pretty much bedazzled. The Bedazzler, like many great technological advances, was way ahead of its time.

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Leaving the Pasties Behind

June 2, 2011
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Leaving the Pasties Behind

Learning annexes always send me brochures and schedules on inexpensive classes I can take in my free time. I normally circle about five courses that interest me from automobile repair to past life regression. Yes, I…

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Men and Brazilian Wax: Two Terms that Should Never Go Together

June 1, 2011
By

  There was an oil spill, so I wanted to visit the beach again before it got completely covered with crude.  Somehow, a black, sticky beach would be less romantic. You can’t bury your sweetheart…

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Heartly God?
By Wil 3. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Getting Started in Freelance Writing
By Ginny Simon and Corner Office Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle






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