Q. Why do you look so murderous in that picture on the left? … Your fellow HumorOutcasts writers A. I always look like that. No wonder I usually get a seat on the bus. Q.…
1. Don’t put your cat in charge of your inkjet toners. Cats are relatively color-blind and they can’t read numbers. If you ask her for a black toner, she’ll probably toss you a tri-color one.…
Don’t try to ice skate on a linoleum floor. You’ll look like a real dork. Your sneaky idiot friends will video you and post it on YouTube. The video will go viral and the whole…
1. Don’t let your cat get into a relationship with a skunk. A skunk can be a real stinker. 2. Hummus has garlic in it. Remember that the next time you are having lunch in…
After considerable thought (at least five minutes’ worth), I have come to the conclusion that it is a big mistake to legalize any presently controlled substances. As we have all been told for generations, you…
For years now, my one New Year’s resolution has been to make no resolutions. This year will be different, because I will at least think of some things that ought to be done better in…
1. If the Big Dipper were to tip over, would it pour water onto the earth? 2. If an astronaut gets burned out and quits, is he spaced out? 3. Why are there dippers in…
When you’ve had a hard day at the office of the world, mass confusion reigns supreme and marries you against your will. During the day, decisions have to be made and it’s these decisions that…
Earlier this week, a Minnesota woman was bit 25 times by an otter while training for a triathlon in a local pond. But if I can just play critter’s advocate here, she really shouldn’t have…
Most Commented