Tag: beer
Beer Pizza and the Birth of the Round Table
Italian Entree BEER PIZZA INGREDIENTS 1 beer pizza crust (See above recipe.) 1 small onion 1 Roma tomato 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning ½ pound ground sausage ¼ cup beer (additional ¼ cup later) ½ cup […]
Can I Get An Ale, Man? Sweet Baby Jesus Beer Taken Off Store Shelves
photo by Michael Bentley / CC BY A Cleveland, Ohio grocery store chain is pulling beer off its shelves after experiencing a come-to-Jesus moment with local customers. In a classic case of “you got your […]
Welsh Rarebit and the Mongol Horde
British Entree WELSH RAREBIT INGREDIENTS 6 slices bread 1 tomato 3 tablespoons butter 2½ cups shredded Caerphilly or cheddar cheese 2 tablespoons flour ½ teaspoon mustard ¼ teaspoon pepper ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon Worcestershire […]
Movie Commentary: The Ancient Greeks Did Not Fight in Speedos
300 makes my all-time fetid-movie list. While it is true that the Spartans heroically delayed the Persian invasion at Thermopylae, it is not true that: 1) All Persians were hideous, hairless, trolls. Most Persians probably […]
Regret, a Loving Poem
Regret* Said the mother penguin to her chick, “Bring your furry ass over here I need to regurgitate and make room for beer.” “No, mom, no I want a pizza A pizza eater I shall […]
Mostly Helpful Cooking Tips #3
People often ask me, “Paul, what is the secret to culinary happiness?” Here are four more tips. 1) Guys, do not scratch your balls immediately after removing seeds from an habanero pepper. Watch your hands […]
Unicorn Bites #570
Wife: How many beers did you have while I was gone? Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2014 4-year-old: You’re my hero. […]
Unicorn Bites #544
4-year-old: What’s hope? Me: The first stage of disappointment. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014 How women plan a party: 1) Pick a theme 2) Make decorations 3) Cook festive foods How men plan […]
Bloody Mary
I don’t know why I did it. I was half-asleep and annoyed, but that’s no excuse. It was a pure case of mental age regression. I don’t know any other way to explain it. It […]