Unicorn Bites 6/8/14
Him: Give $1 to save the planet? Me: I’ll give $2 to save 2 planets Him: Me: I pick Venus & Mars Him Me: But not Earth. Fuck that place — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June […]
Tag: church
Powegian Breakfast Burrito, Religion, and War
Fusion Entree POWEGIAN BREAKFAST BURRITO INGREDIENTS ½ white onion 1 tomato 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 4 ounce can diced green chiles 6 eggs (1 more egg later) 18 8″ flour tortillas 1 pound Italian […]
Unicorn Bites 5/27/14
Me: Why are you sitting funny? 4-year-old: I have pinecones in my pants. Me: The key to parenting is not asking follow-up questions. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 27, 2014 Me: Watch out for cars. […]
Unicorn Bites 4/13/14
Wife: You put cheese on every hamburger you grilled Me: Yup Wife: What about people who don’t like cheese? Me: They can go back to Russia — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 13, 2014 Me: *fucks […]
Older Brothers Behaving Badly
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Welcome To iChurch
The other day I read an article on how anti-gay policies are driving young people away from traditional churches. Right below that article was another in which the Dalai Lama posited that “technology cannot produce […]
Unicorn Bites 1/12/14
Wife: Did you eat all the Girl Scout cookies? Me: No W: The box is empty M: W: You have like 4 cookies in your mouth M: I want a lawyer — James Breakwell, Exploding […]
Unicorn Bites 12/1/13
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn […]
There goes the neighborhood
There’s place I don’t go to but that’s only because I don’t know where it is. It’s a place where there is no Bon Jovi, Bon Jovi fans or paid for anti-virus software. A place […]
Like us on Facebook and you will be saved!
One of the most thoughtful episodes of Fox’s “The Simpsons” involves Lisa questioning her faith after the family church had “sold out,” allowing advertisements and sponsors to infiltrate the house of worship (including the Noid!). […]