How are you gonna claw your way out of this one, Logan?

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Unicorn Bites #585

Me: Hold my hand when we cross the road 4-year-old: That’s not safe Me: Why? 4: If a car hits you, I won’t be able to jump out of the way — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) […]

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This is God giving you a second chance.

Before Jill Y was lucky to have met me, she played with another dude. They weren’t together too long and had never said the ‘L’ word to each other. On the night before I entered […]

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Unicorn Bites 4/28/14

My 1-year-old thinks her name is “Go watch TV,” so, yes, I’d say I’m a good parent. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 28, 2014 Me: That milk came from a cow. 3-year-old: What animal did […]

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The art of saying what you find hard

Jill Y is a big Lady Gaga fan. I know. She has as much taste as a bowl of fingers that has been fortified with so much iron that it only enters and a strongest finger […]

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A predictable as predictive text

There’s a reason I can’t watch those real life TV movies about real life events that are real. The reason is that they are really awful movies with as much emotional intensity as a fishing […]

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