Unicorn Bites 2/13/14

Wife: You never sweep me off my feet. Me: *sweeps her leg* It’s like she’s never seen “Karate Kid.” That’s her own fault. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 13, 2014 Wife: Would you give me […]

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Don’t fall for this.

Along with the guardian of everything that thinks, moves and thinks about moving, I also like to think of myself as a talented, genius-like, caring individual who sometimes gives a damn about others. As you […]

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The reason you were born

In the same way as that grand old Duke of York dude is known for marching all those men, Thirsty Dave is not known as a Philosopher. Not only is the thirsty one not known […]

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It starts when you sink in his arm

It’s all good ladies. I’m one of the more romantic of the dudes. A year doesn’t go by when I don’t tell Jill Y that I love her more than the human body hates antibiotics. […]

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When I die

When I die and am no longer living and people look back over my kingdom, I’ll be remembered for very little. Sure, I’ll be remembered for Bon Jovi hatred and for the length of my […]

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