I’m too young to be a Grandma.
In the early part of August, 2012, I got an interesting phone call while at work. Daughter: Mom, if you had to hear some big news, would you want to hear it on the phone […]
In the early part of August, 2012, I got an interesting phone call while at work. Daughter: Mom, if you had to hear some big news, would you want to hear it on the phone […]
Ryan Gosling has been in the news recently because he allegedly got Evan Mendes pregnant. He hasn’t denied it but I won’t believe it until the DNA test is complete. Even then, I’m sure she […]
Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” taught kids it’s OK to kill two women as long as they’re ugly and no one likes them. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 7, 2014 I ate a whole […]
Me: Do you want me to put your hair in a bun? 3-year-old: NO! My hair isn’t a hamburger. Touché. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2014 The former child star on “Two and a […]
Me: How was daycare? 3-year-old daughter: My friend pooped his pants on purpose. I like him. Girls always go for the bad boys. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 26, 2014 Wife: It’s unrealistic how Pokemon […]
There are no awkward silences in my marriage. My wife fills them all with words. So. Many. Words. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2014 Wife: Am I emotional when I’m pregnant? Me: […]
Wife: Does this shirt make me look pregnant? Me: No, it makes you look fat. Just once, it’d be nice if my brain and mouth worked together. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, […]
Most of my parenting involves hearing a loud noise in the other room and shouting, “What happened?” Getting up is for amateurs. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 21, 2013 People are more important […]
Unless you live in a cave without internet access*, and/or you do something more productive than peruse gossip magazines while waiting in line at the grocery store, you know by now that Kim Kardashian is […]