Posts Tagged ‘ Savior ’

Stepdad Tells Baby Jesus to Quit His Crying or He’ll Give Him Something to Cry About

December 4, 2013
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Stepdad Tells Baby Jesus to Quit His Crying or He’ll Give Him Something to Cry About

After years of the hearing about all of the things that make the baby Jesus cry, stepfather Joseph has reportedly broken his silence and laid down the law. “Seriously, kid. Crying again? Gay marriage…Violence on…

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Jesus Tired of Our Crap, Cancels Second Coming, Would Not Sacrifice Again

April 17, 2013
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Jesus Tired of Our Crap, Cancels Second Coming, Would Not Sacrifice Again

Jesus announced yesterday that he’s had enough. He is tired of earth’s crap and he’s canceled his second coming indefinitely. “Look, I had a bad feeling about this way back when I agreed to be…

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Jesus Horrified to Learn that He Received Lord & Savior Job Due To Nepotism

March 28, 2013
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Jesus Horrified to Learn that He Received Lord & Savior Job Due To Nepotism

Recently, Jesus sat down for a heartfelt talk with Katie Couric where he spoke candidly on a broad range of topics, including politics, literature, music, and the environment. The most startling exchange, though, occurred when…

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The Savior

April 26, 2011
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“Master, we have followed you for years, when will we experience this Kingdom of which you speak?” “Yeah, are we going to get castles?” “And servants! I want some servants…” “My children, we are building…

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