The Place to Take a Humor Break
Shirley Temple Black died at 85. The former child star didn’t spend her adult life in the tabloids or rehab. Your move, Lindsay Lohan. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 12, 2014 Canadians are the nicest […]
Coworker: Today was perfect. Me: Was everyone in the office but me eaten by lions? Coworker: No. Me: Then there was room for improvement. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 11, 2014 An Iraqi terrorist in […]
Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 10, […]
It’s cute how Canada gets to send athletes to the Olympics just like a real country. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2014 The Winter Olympics: The 2 weeks when for some reason I suddenly […]
I already said I was sorry, so I don’t know why you’re still hung up on this. I can’t unburn down your house. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 8, 2014 If a girl gets mad […]
You’re right, teenagers: We don’t know what you’re going through. The rest of us skipped straight from 12 to 20. Best decision we ever made. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2014 Justin Bieber smoked […]
Me:*stands on the scale* *steps off* *stands on it again* Wife: Why’d you do that? I can’t tell her, but now I know the weight of a fart — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 5, 2014 […]
A student was injured when her iPhone started on fire. Apple pointed out the burns were more stylish than those caused by Android devices. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 4, 2014 I thought a beard […]
Me: *changes 1-year-old’s poopy diaper* Wife: How bad was it? Does she need a new outfit? Me: We need a new house. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 3, 2014 Me: I’m going to turn you […]
Me: *puts 3-year-old’s hair in a ponytail* 3: Daddy, that’s fairy hair! I want to be a princess. I’m a terrible father. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 2, 2014 Good call on the commercials, fancy […]