We talk about people being ‘heartbroken’, all the time. They get dumped, they’re sad, they have a broken heart. We have to sit there while they drink beer, eat McDonalds, smoke three packs of cigarettes, and whatever else they want to do to punish themselves for being ugly, and/or fat enough to drive their loved ones to think “that’s it, I’ve had enough. I’m going to be nice and dump this loser jerk off, before I start putting my mouth on Serge from the Gym”.
But according to the first big study to look into the effects of relationship breakups, getting dumped could LITERALLY break your heart. As in, not metaphorically, but truly. Ok, I don’t need a biology lesson. I KNOW that technically the heart is a muscle, and therefore can’t ACTUALLY be broken, unlike a penis…. but go with me here….
Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that, yes, in some cases, people who suffer from a severe emotional trauma can have HEART FAILURE or HEART ATTACKS. And it’s 700% to 900% more likely to happen to women, than men. The researchers called it ‘broken heart syndrome’ . It’s where an emotional breakup or the death of a spouse or close family member actually puts someone in the hospital, with heart failure.
It happens because severe and prolonged stress from a traumatic event can lead to unbalanced rushes of adrenaline and other stress hormones, and that can overwhelm your heart.
Whatever. That’s so STUPID. They expect us to believe that men have hearts????…….