A Comedy of Errors in Everyday Life | HumorOutcasts

A Comedy of Errors in Everyday Life

November 6, 2011
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I recently ran into an old school friend and when I asked about her life, she told me a long, drawn-out story which basically ended with her telling me she was trying to “find herself.”  In finding herself, she ditched a good-paying job, a husband and three kids.  I told her I didn’t think she she was worth the effort.  She wouldn’t have much when she found herself.

Will someone please explain to me why there must be a safety seal on a bottle of Tide?  I mean, aren’t cleaning products what we’re trying to keep out of the things that go in our mouths?  I don’t know one soul who is in danger of ingesting a huge gulp of Tide detergent.  And if you are thinking about it, you’ve got more problems that getting through that piece of plastic.

Growing up in the wild jungles of Africa, Tarzan met Jane so the movies tell us.   If Jane taught Tarzan English, how did he know his name was Tarzan?  Why didn’t he think his name was Hmmp, or some other grunt word in gorilla lingo?   And when they acquired their son, why did he call him Boy?  Why not Cheetah after his close relative?

Why do we keep electing lawyers to take care of the business matters of this country?  What makes us think lawyers know anything about budgeting money or making financial decisions?  Ask any legal secretary, and she will tell you the lawyers should never be allowed to buy the office equipment, much less run the country.  Of course, it might be easier to know what’s going on if they showed up to work regularly.

Another thing that fascinates me is why someone pays a politician to give a speech at a function.  Why pay someone a large sum of money for something that he’s been giving away for free to anyone who will listen.  Do you really think the guy’s going to say anything new at your chicken dinner than he hasn’t already said in a parking lot a million times before?  If you do, please contact me because I’ve got some farmland I’d like you to buy underneath the Mississippi River.

I’ve noticed a lot of business have two doors at the entrance.  Nothing odd about that, right?  The only thing is there’s usually a sign on one door that says “Please Use Other Door.”  Why bother having two doors if one will do?

Ah, the mysteries of life, where would I be without them?  May the wind be at your back, as the old saying goes.  Hopefully, it’s just not a tornado.

Pattie Byrd

Pattie Byrd is a freelance writer specializing in humor commentary, although she also writes reviews, stories and news articles. She has been published in "Mississippi", "Southern Destinations" and other assorted magazines. Currently, she publishes on several internet sites including Yahoo, RedGage and Wikinut.

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2 Responses to A Comedy of Errors in Everyday Life

  1. November 7, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Great points, it reminds me of a popular restaruant chain that is open 24 hours but has big locks on the doors, why? Of course the saftey notice on the hair dryer about not using it in the shower? With 7 billion people in the world I think it is time to stop sheltering the weak and stupid, let the survival of the fittest (smartest) rule once again and let’s quite diluting the gene pool.

  2. Mayor Lund
    November 6, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    I personally think that the safety seal on the Tide in a good thing! I’ve heard that drinking a quart of Tide could cause permanent impotence in males. And I have enough problems as it is!



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