Blue M & M’s | HumorOutcasts

Blue M & M’s

June 5, 2011
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Mother Nature must be a man. Who else would play this mid-life trick on women? Women lose their sex drive and men get Viagra. I’d like to thank the pharmaceutical industry for their complicity. I’m assuming if any women worked on the miraculous erectile dysfunction drugs they were under 40. Girls, girls, girls, you will live to regret it. I’d also like to thank doctors who are handing these pills out like M&Ms. And last, but not least, hats off to that drag queen Mother Nature, for menopause. Now the world of relationships is on tilt.

Listen carefully midlife boys. (And by the way, wasn’t the new Porsche enough?) Women do not lose their sex drive on purpose. It’s business, not personal. So don’t go stomping around all pissed off and pouty that your wife, significant other or girlfriend is denying you sex to be mean. Looking at some of the middle-aged men out there, I suggest they deny you food. Women aren’t thinking about sex and it’s no fault of their own; their hormones are gone, vanished, hasta la vista,  bye-bye. Hey, Pharmaceutical Companies, how about making hormone replacement drugs that are safe? I personally would like my skin tone back. Did you think I’d say sex life?

My friend, Jack, called to tell me about an article he read regarding a libido-enhancing drug they’re working on for older women. Huh? Isn’t it possible these women are already happy with their lives? So what if they’re not fantasizing about sex. Ironically, my male friends have no interest in having sex with an older woman or even one their age. Well what’s a girl to do? Cry? Call a plastic surgeon? How about sex with a younger guy? That sounds like hormone therapy to me and just might perk up the old libido.

Gail Maria Forrest

Gail Maria Forrest - I'm the creator of www.gonepausal.com. I'm here to declare that menopause can be fun or at least funny. Our Moms didn't talk about it so I thought I would. Recently mine mentioned that she never went through "the change." "Wow Mom, you're the only one." I'm a Baby Boomer and we talk about everything.( I confess I wish I had back some of the bras I burned as it's so hard to find a good one these days.) I want all of us to join together and laugh our way through menopause .

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6 Responses to Blue M & M’s

  1. June 5, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    Well then I suggest painful hair removal

  2. June 5, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    I wrote about mother nature before. She has a twisted sense of humor. At our expense.

    • June 5, 2011 at 11:19 pm

      Rememeber the words of the memorable margarine commercial “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature”

  3. June 5, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Donna – you have it exactly right. It’s a toughie but I’d rather have a Porsche than electrolysis. Anyone who would rather have needles in their face call a therapist asap.

  4. June 5, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Men get Porsches and women need electrolysis. If there is a God, it’s a guy.

    • Jack Sass
      June 5, 2011 at 10:20 pm

      I didn’t get a Porsche, Dang it!



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