My darling girlfriend, Ginger, had gone to see her mother for the weekend leaving me alone with the dog. So, Friday night I gave my midget buddy Roger a call and asked him if he wanted to ride down to the club with me for a few drinks. Roger was all excited with the invitation. He said he just bought a used Mini Cooper and this would be a great opportunity to break it in.
Roger was quite comfortable in the Cooper, but when the dog and I tried to get in the car, it became somewhat like a sardine can and smelled about the same! I knew our evening was off to a bad start when Roger’s little car wouldn’t start, but luckily I was able to jump-start it with my iPod.
As we started into town, the stupid dog started whining so we had to stop and let him go to the bathroom. Fortunately, we were near the City Park and since Roger and myself were familiar ith the park from all our hours of community service, we let him go there.
As I took the dog out onto the soft green grass I noticed a sign saying “NO Dogs On Grass”. Then as my dog took position and started grunting, an elderly woman and her granddaughter walked by. The old girl snapped at me, “The Sign Says NO DOGS!”
I turned looked her in the eye and said, “Sign’s Wrong!” She scowled at me, grabbed her little girl by the hand and hightailed it down the sidewalk.
After the dog was done relieving himself, we continued down to our favorite watering hole. There we kept buying each other drinks and having a good time, apparently we lost track of time because I can remember seeing the sunrise on the ride home. When I awoke on Saturday afternoon, I tried putting my pants on but I quickly stopped when I noticed that someone had shit in my pants the night before. I’m not sure who done what or where we were, but I know for a fact that someone ate corn!