I like paranormal stuff. I admit that I watch everything from Celebrity Ghost Stories to Ghost Hunters. I think it fascinates me because I can’t decide if all this stuff is real or not. However, I draw the line on possessions. I know that people swear by demon possessions, and I know from possession-believers that demons can not only give people colorful personalities but they can make them do things they would normally not do — like murder. One time, I saw this religious show on Sunday morning, and the animated preacher estimated that more than half the people in prison were there because the devil lived inside of them forcing them to do terrible things. I’m not sure, but I don’t think that argument would work with the parole board.
If I think about this eerie topic, I have to admit that I can understand why a demon would go after a person. It’ a convenience thing. No demon is going to get the trust of anyone if he walks around showing off those horns and red eyes; he needs a disguise if he is to create his world of evil. However, if he takes over — say, a 14-year-old girl named Regan, he is almost invincible. I don’t care how much green pea vomit she spits out, she is still a little girl and people will love her. They don’t want her living with them, but they still love her.
I think some people take the devil thing too far. For instance, I have a tough time believing that a demon, any demon – even a D-list demon, would possess a poodle. Yes, you read right – a poodle. It seems that a woman in Canada wrote a book about the demon possession of her dog, Princess. In the book, she details out why she knows her poodle was possessed and how the demon eventually pushed Princess down the steps and killed her. (I know I have a hard time not snickering too.)
This is my problem with the pooch possession. If this poodle was truly possessed by one demon, I have to face the fact that my one dog is possessed by a fleet of demons. That is the only explanation that I have on her behavior. Also, if a demon is going to possess a dog, why pick a poodle? Who fears poodles? Any demon worth his salt would pick a Rottweiler or a Pit Bull or something like that. Poodles don’t exactly look as if they scream “I am taking you to hell with me.” They look more like they scream, “Oh, I need a new diamond collar and a sweater.”
Anyway, back to the devil poodle book which is entitled, Paranormal Pooch. May I just say here that what really ticks me off about this book is not the obvious exploitation of the dead Princess, but the fact that I didn’t think of this idea first. This woman is probably raking in a truckload of dough because once readers get through the book, their paranormal experience is not done. No, this woman — this marketing genius, had the brilliant idea to start a site where people could buy energy pendants which shield both the humans in their lives and their pets from the attack of the devil. Yes, $197 buys you a human pendant for your neck and $189 buys you a collar pendant for your pup which will keep you safe from demon possession.
So, here we have it: anti-possession pendants. Yes, it’s fair to say this world is truly teetering on the edge of total insanity. But look on the bright side, if you buy a pendant, you might still be crazy but the chances of you and your dog needing an exorcism are slim. That is sort of comforting, right?