I’ve had two husbands which at one time seemed like a lot. However, I met men and women who are on their third, fourth and fifth spouse. It’s a little jaw dropping but seeing as how everyone is living so much longer, it’s apparently possible to collect marriages like stamps. (By the way, does anyone actually collect stamps anymore?) I feel thankful I got married in the 1970s and then again in the 80’s as I never would have met either husband in 2011. Why? It is necessary to LOOK UP to meet someone. Has anyone else noticed that everyone is looking down texting or talking on their cell phone? Truthfully, I’m shocked more folks haven’t walked into oncoming traffic or trains. Everywhere I go men and women are yapping away on their phones probably complaining they never go out. Wake up all you 21st century dateless whiners – get a 20th century answering machine and leave the cell phone at home.
I admit this is much easier said than done but let me take you back to yesteryear. I met husband #1 in an age when phones plugged into a wall. The year was 1976 and the place Central Park. I was walking my Golden Retriever and he was out with his Golden Retriever. The dogs started playing and we started chit chatting. Now, if either one of us had been on a cell phone or texting we would never have looked up long enough to have a conversation. I would have been on my tiny device bitching and moaning to a friend how I was dateless and my future husband would have gotten away.
Husband #2 was trickier, but again I was looking up. I was meeting my friend Ellen at the Museum of Modern Art when I realized I was a $1.00 short of the admission price. (Foolishly, I couldn’t resist a purse in the window of the Coach store on the way over.) Panicked, I knew I had to borrow money from a total stranger to get in. It was 1984 and phones were still attached to walls – no texting or calling her about my cash shortage. I looked around the lobby and decided if I had to make a complete fool of myself and beg for $$ I might as well pick the best looking man in sight. Voila, I got the $1.00 and another husband. Yes, I paid him back.
It’s 2011 and I find myself spending a lot of time looking down to text or talk and not taking my own advice. Truthfully, I think there’s only one answer. I think I’ll collect stamps.