Life as I know it is about to change. In fact, life as I’ve known it since high school is now on permanent tilt. How this could happen stuns, amazes and bums me out. I am an “All My Children” junkie and have recently learned that ABC is going to pull the needle out of my arm and yank the show, sending me into serious Erica Kane withdrawal. Someone at the network should have had the presence of mind to realize a lot of us will need re-hab and arrange a place for us to recover or a spot where we could have a big group hug and good cry. What am I supposed to watch on the treadmill now for God’s sake – another freaking cooking show? Wake up network kids, not everyone cooks or cares about Virgin olive oil. Aside from the fact that I think Anthony Bourdain is totally hot and would have sex with him, I’m not interested in watching him comb the Earth for exotic food groups and tribal cafes.
My love of soap operas began back in junior year of high school with “The Young and the Restless”. I ditched school a lot because it was on during French. My Mom was a “Y&R” fan long after I moved on to “Ryan’s Hope.” OMG the boys on that show were so cute that I had to switch over. I might not have learned how to conjugate the verb “etre” but I knew who was having a child out of wedlock. My addiction continued in college where no one cared if I was in class or not so I schlepped to the student union every day to watch “All My Children”. Although unable to conjugate verbs in French, I have been through the trials and tribulations of all of Erica Kane’s marriages. Of course, I had my favorite husbands but she divorced them anyway. I knew everyone in Pine Valley, a small New England town where the entire population was attractive. A great place to live if you were single. I had significant crushes on too many Pine Valley men to mention, many of whom came to tragic ends.
The real beauty of watching “All My Children” or any soap opera was that even if you missed one year or 5 years worth of episodes you could catch up in a day. Like magic, you were transported back into the lives, loves, and insidious demise of all your old “friends”. It was like going home or truthfully, a lot better. I will really miss Erica as I always thought she and I were similar…it’s not clear how except our hair color and length. I am way behind on the husband count and at the rate I’m dating, I will never catch up. And although we are close in age she looks waaaay better. My only wish is that before the show ends, she releases the name of her plastic surgeon. I feel she owes that to me, her dedicated fan.
photo by watchmojo